I am so sorry for your loss. And yes, it is a loss. I went through a similar situation and can tell you from experience that you have suffered a loss. For me it was chronic back pain, but it meant a total change in lifestyle. I used to walk 2 miles a day to the gym, work in the yard for hours on end, and swing my grandkids. I could no longer do any of those. You have to give yourself time to mourn you loss, just like you would the loss of a loved one.
But hopefully you can see a rheumatologist who treats both forms of arthritis. I also have osteo arthritis and sometime it is as disabling as the back problems. But with good treatment you can live relatively pain free. I don't know how old you are but they even have treatments that you only take once a year now. Due to a genetic liver disease I can't take any of them. They wouldn't even attempt to treat me because of my liver. If all else fails ask your doctor about seeing a pain management specialist. I have been going to one since '94 and it makes a great difference. Good luck girl and God bless. @romana