I feel like a ghost going through life. Advice?

Maybe you should request DNA testing to see which antidepressant is best for you. No guarantees, but better than the potluck type of approach.

@bajjerfan I understand how you are feeling. I was there over two decades ago and almost swallowed a bottle of pills. Thank God it was almost and accomplished. I called my doctor after seeing a tiny poster on my fridge that said “ Faith isn’t Faith until it’s all you have to hold onto “ with a bear holding onto a balloon. It stopped me in my tracks. You don’t sound like a negative person, you sound clinically depressed. Is your psychiatrist just offering meds or have they recommended you talk to a therapist? I’ve been going to one since the suicide attempt, and it’s made a world of difference. I do take meds, but there are many different types you could take. Prozac made me feel the same way, so we played around until we found one that I could tolerate. You have already sought help, which is brave of you, but keep pushing for more help until you find what works for you. Psychiatry isn’t a one size fits all, and maybe you need to try a different psychiatrist to get the results you need. I don’t know if you are in a relationship with Jesus, and that’s not something you need to share, but I’ve leaned on Him constantly. Talking to our Savior is sometimes the best medicine we can find. I’m praying for you. Please keep us updated. God bless.

Not accomplished

@pondfrogz Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am glad you have reached out. That's an important step. Here we support each other and learn about what has worked for others.

It's not always an easy path to get better mentally, we all know that. And what works for one person may not be the right way for someone else. It's brave of you to want to look into things and become a better person. Just writing it down and getting it out might have helped you feel better, acknowledging your dilemma. Am I right?

Talking to your prescribing doctor about how the Prozac made you feel and asking for a review of what else to try could be a good first step. Upping your physical exercise, to get the "good endorphins" going, might help. Looking for some talk therapy, getting restful sleep, indulging in some form of creative expression [crafts, dance, cooking, music, etc.] can all work together to help you feel better about yourself.

Please be gentle on yourself. Getting to where you feel you are now was not an overnight thing, and bouncing back from it will also not be an overnight thing. How are you feeling today?
Ginger

@gingerw thank you so much for your reply! today im just feeling so unmotivated and guilty because i let my own issues out onto the people i love, and i just want to stop telling them im going to change, i want to show them. my days consist of over analyzing every little thing , talking negatively about myself, not taking care of myself properly, and always doing the bare minimum. today i am trying to stretch and work out once im done with my shift. i think talking does help me and im glad i found this website. im going to try to be consistent. i also spoke to my doctor

@mbixler

Sorry, but you have me confused with the OP.

@pondfrogz I'm happy to hear from you today. As I said, be gentle on yourself. Baby steps, as it were, remember! Telling your loved ones you're going to change is good, now you want to motivate yourself to do just that. I recall a few years ago when dealing with something, trying to make a small change each day in my attitude. It wasn't apparent to me really that indeed there were small differences, to the good. But others saw it. It doesn't take much. And you will look back and be able to see the journey you have taken.
Ginger

@pondfrogz
When you speak about a ghost sensation, it sounds like dissociation. (Donald Kalsched). Like going through your life behind a Lexan shield. You can see and hear what's going on, but it is distorted and not clear. Your feeling sense is blunted or numb. No joy there.
This is more common than is recognized. Scroll through Mayo Chats depression, anxiety, isolated, wit's end, etc.
A difficult traumatizing childhood can result in the Self system shutting down to protect itself as overwhelmed. In the void created, a fantasy life forms. Not who are you? but What would you like to be? A car mechanic, a firefighter, a doctor, a cpa , a parent, a surfer, a motorcycle gang member? (Pippin).
Society or family dictates your role, but it's not you. It doesn't "fit." (Bob Dylan Augustine)
But you're stuck with it because what else is there? You can put your heart and soul into it, but without your Self, who you really are, not the role you are playing (Shakespeare), it will only partially work, not be Self sustaining, fragile, brittle, and collapse at any fault in the system. Think of the guy keeping ten plates spinning on sticks.
Without meaning (victor frankl) life is unfulfilling and dull, leading eventually to an anger depression cycle.
A good psychiatrist or Zen master won't give you advice. They will have you fold in on yourself repeatedly, like making a Samurai sword, until you recover your True Self.
Once you have that, you will know what's important, what you should do, what gives you true enjoyment and gratitude. You might not like some of the challenges of life, but you can be confident your Self can handle them.
The road is not easy (faith, courage, and patience, Jung), but it is definitely worth it.
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