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Dana
@danazhu

Posts: 4
Joined: Jul 05, 2016

Daughter's lost interest in studying, making friends, social activity

Posted by @danazhu, Jul 4, 2016

My daughter 21 quit uni twice, lost interest in studying, making friends, all socail activity, doing nothing at home, she looks lazy, but I think she may have mental problems. Could anyone give me a direction. I have stuggsted her to see doctor but she said she is nomral.

REPLY

Hi Dana. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know it must be hard watching someone you love struggle. But i’m glad you came to Connect for support! I myself struggled with depression in high school and college and I must say, this sounds a lot like that. When you are depressed or struggling, you do start to withdraw from everything around you because you feel like very little matters. For me, a combination of a low dose antidepressant and therapy helped tremendously!

I think your instinct about the doctor is right on. You might start with your primary care physician and position it to your daughter as just going in for a checkup (though make sure you go with her). You may want to have a few notes ready to discuss with the doctor, particularly specific examples of behavior now versus behavior before. Her symptoms are so general that it truly could be something beyond a mental health issue, so getting a doctor’s opinion is really important. Then you might look into a therapist or psychologist. I’d just make sure that when you talk to her about seeing a mental health professional, talk about it as “giving it a try.” Encourage her to go a few times to try it out and see what she thinks. The professional can take it from there.

I hope that helps! I’m also tagging @concernedfather, @kds1236, @taychahan, @erinorb, @jmbjar, @jbyrd and @momwfj who have also posted about their children’s or their own struggles on Connect and should be able to provide some insights and support.

How long ago did you start to notice these changes? Do you think there was any kind of trigger? Also, do mental health issues run in your family?

When a close relative was in upper high school, he had all of the symptoms that you describe in your daughter. Plus, he said that he could not sleep, and that really complicated things. The sleep issue was the reason he went to doctor. That led him being treated for adolescent depression. A great psychologist and some medication made his life bearable (even enjoyable) and he was able to successfully complete high school. Today he is no longer needing treatment. And is successful in a career loves and a proud daddy and husband. He has always said that anyone suffering the same “fate” should ‘Go ahead and seek treatment. It is nothing to fear or be ashamed of. It can be the best thing you ever do for yourself.” Please share this with your daughter. Rosemary

@kelseydm

Hi Dana. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know it must be hard watching someone you love struggle. But i’m glad you came to Connect for support! I myself struggled with depression in high school and college and I must say, this sounds a lot like that. When you are depressed or struggling, you do start to withdraw from everything around you because you feel like very little matters. For me, a combination of a low dose antidepressant and therapy helped tremendously!

I think your instinct about the doctor is right on. You might start with your primary care physician and position it to your daughter as just going in for a checkup (though make sure you go with her). You may want to have a few notes ready to discuss with the doctor, particularly specific examples of behavior now versus behavior before. Her symptoms are so general that it truly could be something beyond a mental health issue, so getting a doctor’s opinion is really important. Then you might look into a therapist or psychologist. I’d just make sure that when you talk to her about seeing a mental health professional, talk about it as “giving it a try.” Encourage her to go a few times to try it out and see what she thinks. The professional can take it from there.

I hope that helps! I’m also tagging @concernedfather, @kds1236, @taychahan, @erinorb, @jmbjar, @jbyrd and @momwfj who have also posted about their children’s or their own struggles on Connect and should be able to provide some insights and support.

How long ago did you start to notice these changes? Do you think there was any kind of trigger? Also, do mental health issues run in your family?

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Thank you very much for your help and I am tring to take her to see a doctor.

@rosemarya

When a close relative was in upper high school, he had all of the symptoms that you describe in your daughter. Plus, he said that he could not sleep, and that really complicated things. The sleep issue was the reason he went to doctor. That led him being treated for adolescent depression. A great psychologist and some medication made his life bearable (even enjoyable) and he was able to successfully complete high school. Today he is no longer needing treatment. And is successful in a career loves and a proud daddy and husband. He has always said that anyone suffering the same “fate” should ‘Go ahead and seek treatment. It is nothing to fear or be ashamed of. It can be the best thing you ever do for yourself.” Please share this with your daughter. Rosemary

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Dear Rosemary

Thank you for your help and I will take her to see a doctor.

@rosemarya

When a close relative was in upper high school, he had all of the symptoms that you describe in your daughter. Plus, he said that he could not sleep, and that really complicated things. The sleep issue was the reason he went to doctor. That led him being treated for adolescent depression. A great psychologist and some medication made his life bearable (even enjoyable) and he was able to successfully complete high school. Today he is no longer needing treatment. And is successful in a career loves and a proud daddy and husband. He has always said that anyone suffering the same “fate” should ‘Go ahead and seek treatment. It is nothing to fear or be ashamed of. It can be the best thing you ever do for yourself.” Please share this with your daughter. Rosemary

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I hope that the doctor appointment got things moving in a good direction for your daughter. Sometimes progress move more slowly than we would like, and I know that alone can be frustrating. Hang in there. I’m thinking about you both. Rosemary

@kelseydm

Hi Dana. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know it must be hard watching someone you love struggle. But i’m glad you came to Connect for support! I myself struggled with depression in high school and college and I must say, this sounds a lot like that. When you are depressed or struggling, you do start to withdraw from everything around you because you feel like very little matters. For me, a combination of a low dose antidepressant and therapy helped tremendously!

I think your instinct about the doctor is right on. You might start with your primary care physician and position it to your daughter as just going in for a checkup (though make sure you go with her). You may want to have a few notes ready to discuss with the doctor, particularly specific examples of behavior now versus behavior before. Her symptoms are so general that it truly could be something beyond a mental health issue, so getting a doctor’s opinion is really important. Then you might look into a therapist or psychologist. I’d just make sure that when you talk to her about seeing a mental health professional, talk about it as “giving it a try.” Encourage her to go a few times to try it out and see what she thinks. The professional can take it from there.

I hope that helps! I’m also tagging @concernedfather, @kds1236, @taychahan, @erinorb, @jmbjar, @jbyrd and @momwfj who have also posted about their children’s or their own struggles on Connect and should be able to provide some insights and support.

How long ago did you start to notice these changes? Do you think there was any kind of trigger? Also, do mental health issues run in your family?

Jump to this post

@danazhu , I don’t need for you to reply to this. I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping that things are moving in a positive direction. Rosemary

@kelseydm

Hi Dana. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know it must be hard watching someone you love struggle. But i’m glad you came to Connect for support! I myself struggled with depression in high school and college and I must say, this sounds a lot like that. When you are depressed or struggling, you do start to withdraw from everything around you because you feel like very little matters. For me, a combination of a low dose antidepressant and therapy helped tremendously!

I think your instinct about the doctor is right on. You might start with your primary care physician and position it to your daughter as just going in for a checkup (though make sure you go with her). You may want to have a few notes ready to discuss with the doctor, particularly specific examples of behavior now versus behavior before. Her symptoms are so general that it truly could be something beyond a mental health issue, so getting a doctor’s opinion is really important. Then you might look into a therapist or psychologist. I’d just make sure that when you talk to her about seeing a mental health professional, talk about it as “giving it a try.” Encourage her to go a few times to try it out and see what she thinks. The professional can take it from there.

I hope that helps! I’m also tagging @concernedfather, @kds1236, @taychahan, @erinorb, @jmbjar, @jbyrd and @momwfj who have also posted about their children’s or their own struggles on Connect and should be able to provide some insights and support.

How long ago did you start to notice these changes? Do you think there was any kind of trigger? Also, do mental health issues run in your family?

Jump to this post

Dear Rosemary
Thank you for your kindness and greeting. I just convinced my daughter that she needs to see GP and then he will refer her to see a specialist. Dana

@kelseydm

Hi Dana. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know it must be hard watching someone you love struggle. But i’m glad you came to Connect for support! I myself struggled with depression in high school and college and I must say, this sounds a lot like that. When you are depressed or struggling, you do start to withdraw from everything around you because you feel like very little matters. For me, a combination of a low dose antidepressant and therapy helped tremendously!

I think your instinct about the doctor is right on. You might start with your primary care physician and position it to your daughter as just going in for a checkup (though make sure you go with her). You may want to have a few notes ready to discuss with the doctor, particularly specific examples of behavior now versus behavior before. Her symptoms are so general that it truly could be something beyond a mental health issue, so getting a doctor’s opinion is really important. Then you might look into a therapist or psychologist. I’d just make sure that when you talk to her about seeing a mental health professional, talk about it as “giving it a try.” Encourage her to go a few times to try it out and see what she thinks. The professional can take it from there.

I hope that helps! I’m also tagging @concernedfather, @kds1236, @taychahan, @erinorb, @jmbjar, @jbyrd and @momwfj who have also posted about their children’s or their own struggles on Connect and should be able to provide some insights and support.

How long ago did you start to notice these changes? Do you think there was any kind of trigger? Also, do mental health issues run in your family?

Jump to this post

Dana, If you or your daughter would like to contact me via the private email on this Mayo Connect site, please feel free to do so. That way your daughter can maintain her privacy. Rosemary

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