How does anyone handle the fear?

Posted by cindee60 @cindee60, Thu, Oct 24 1:18am

Over the course of 5 weeks my husband has started having daily bouts of diarrhea, a stomachache, then yellow eyes and now yellow skin…waiting for CT scan but finding it so difficult to function everyday just doing normal life is hard. I want to be positive and supportive but don’t know how. Hard to try to have normal conversation it’s like the elephant in the room and I don’t want him to know how terrified I am that this is something bad. Do these symptoms always mean pancreatic cancer or can they be a result of other conditions? Thank you

@cindee60 Welcome to Connect. I'm very glad that you reached out to Connect.
This is a fantastic question. To me fear is a good thing, although it is extremely uncomfortable. Is there a reason that you aren't showing your feelings with your husband?
Unfortunately no one on Connect can offer any one medical advice. Until there is a definitive diagnosis try and concentrate on what you need to do in that moment and go on to the next. I find that making a list of what I can control and what I can't helps. After you've got your list take the one that has the can't control things on it and stow it away. Concentrate on what you can control.
Your husband is most likely terrified too. My thinking is that talking to each other will help calm the situation down some. This is a situation that will take both of you to get through if it is serious.
What makes you think that this is cancer?
Does this make sense?

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@cindee60. Let me too extend a welcome to Connect to you.
I think @merpreb has some excellent ideas there. I went through a life-threatening condition myself. I was aware of the odds but my husband just sloughed them off. I discovered afterward that he and my sister were both afraid they were going to lose me. I understand why they did that but I think some acknowledgement of what I was going through may have helped. As I think about it, I guess the best approach may be acknowledgement with encouragement. It really is a difficult situation to know how to approach. He needs to know that you are concerned, but also that you are optimistic, otherwise he may feel that he’s going through this agony of worrying alone. You need to take a cue from him. Frankly, when I was getting diagnosed I was not too concerned, I always assumed it was nothing serious.

How soon is the CT scan? I hope and pray for him and for you that the diagnosis will not be as bad as you are worried about, but even if it’s not good please try to remember that there is still hope with the treatments that are available now. We will be looking to hearing the results if you don’t mind sharing.
JK

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@cindee60 This has to be so scary for you and your husband the not knowing what is causing the color change of yellow it could be so many things try not to think it maybe a cancer it could be other things also. Hopefully the scan is soon , what does your Dr. say? If you can try not to dwell on cancer I know its hard to wait and of course we all think of cancer first but your thoughts are powerful so try to keep calm till you know .

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@lioness

@cindee60 This has to be so scary for you and your husband the not knowing what is causing the color change of yellow it could be so many things try not to think it maybe a cancer it could be other things also. Hopefully the scan is soon , what does your Dr. say? If you can try not to dwell on cancer I know its hard to wait and of course we all think of cancer first but your thoughts are powerful so try to keep calm till you know .

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Thank you so much took him by acute care ambulance tonight to hospital a couple hours away…..tests will happen and I guess we will know…..

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@lioness

@cindee60 This has to be so scary for you and your husband the not knowing what is causing the color change of yellow it could be so many things try not to think it maybe a cancer it could be other things also. Hopefully the scan is soon , what does your Dr. say? If you can try not to dwell on cancer I know its hard to wait and of course we all think of cancer first but your thoughts are powerful so try to keep calm till you know .

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@lioness– This is such a great response!

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@cindee60

Thank you so much took him by acute care ambulance tonight to hospital a couple hours away…..tests will happen and I guess we will know…..

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@cindee60– Oh boy, this must have terrified both of you. Will traveling back and forth to the hospital be a problem for you?

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@cindee60

Thank you so much took him by acute care ambulance tonight to hospital a couple hours away…..tests will happen and I guess we will know…..

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Hello @cindee60,
You must be relieved that he is in the hospital now where he can get a diagnosis and treatment. Will you update us when you know more?

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@cindee60

Thank you so much took him by acute care ambulance tonight to hospital a couple hours away…..tests will happen and I guess we will know…..

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@cindee60 I presume he must have had an incident that caused you to call an ambulance. You must have been so frightened. The good thing is that he is now where he can be diagnosed. To me, knowing what I am dealing with is a good part of the battle. From there you can move forward.
I hope that you hear something soon, and that you are comfortable sharing it. We are all thinking of you, and of him.
JK

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@cindee60 Hopefully you may know something real soon Praying for you and hubby Keep the faith

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@cindee60– I have been thinking about you I hope that you have found some answers out about your husband. When you have a chance will you let me know?

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Hello @cindee60
I hope your husband is getting treatment for his symptoms at the hospital. Any updates on your husband's condition that you would like to share?

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Thinking of you and your husband.

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