how Do you maintain medical help when you have nothing?

Posted by sandyjr @sandyjr, Jan 10 3:05pm

My adult daughter is married to a real loser. He has addiction issues but she has stayed with him because he has terrific health insurance. Her life has been difficult to say the least, but she has been so sick that she could not afford to leave him. Today he came home from work and told her that he got fired. It was not a surprise to us. She has only a part time job because for the last year and a half she has had a severe Crohn’s flare. This past summer she had surgery to remove part of her intestine. We thought that would be the answer, but the flare is still active, so she has held onto the little job she has because it is something…but certainly not enough to support herself on. He doesn’t have a care in the world. It didn’t faze him that they will now have no money coming and no health benefits. This was the last straw for her. She is leaving him, but that does not help us figure out where to go from here. Have any of you out there been this down and out and been able to get treatment? I am hopeful that maybe now the Crohn’s flare will subside now that she will be away from the abusive husband.

She should be eligible to continue her insurance based on Federal law, COBRA. She needs to talk to husbands past employers benefits or Human Resources office. She can continue for up to 18 months.

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Yes we know that. She is concerned that she will not be able to get a job. She has Dr appointments all the time and she constantly has to run to the bathroom. No employer wants to deal with that.

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I'm so sorry to hear of daughter's problems, @sandyjr. Physical and marital problems are a very difficult combination.

I hope, as you say, that she will feel better without the stress of a difficult marriage relationship.

She might look into Medicaid. Some states have this program for low-income folks. If she is eligible that would help her. You do not mention your daughter's age, but she might also look at the possibility of social security disability. An attorney who specializes in social security disability might be able to help her look at whether or not she would qualify.

Will you post again and let me know how she is doing?

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@hopeful33250

I'm so sorry to hear of daughter's problems, @sandyjr. Physical and marital problems are a very difficult combination.

I hope, as you say, that she will feel better without the stress of a difficult marriage relationship.

She might look into Medicaid. Some states have this program for low-income folks. If she is eligible that would help her. You do not mention your daughter's age, but she might also look at the possibility of social security disability. An attorney who specializes in social security disability might be able to help her look at whether or not she would qualify.

Will you post again and let me know how she is doing?

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Yes I will. She has already applied for disability and was turned down. An attorney is taking care of that. My daughter is in her 40s and has lived in this bad marriage for a long time. She has been through his alcoholism, his drug addiction and his miserable self. She was just about fed up when this Crohn’s attack happened. People do not understand that people in her position cannot just walk away. It took me 4 years to decide to divorce her father who was no where as bad as this guy…he only decided to start dating after several years of marriage. Talk about scared…that was me. I made it on my own, but I also had a good job with benefits and I got to stay in the family home. She has none of that. They have nothing because he has no conception of reality and now everything is geared for the drug addict…not for the mess he creates and leaves behind him. BTW, her doctors do not take Medicaid. She is really scared. I told her to find out about Cobra and that her father and I can split that. That is if that selfish man will come through. I am hopeful that she can get through this. Perhaps being away from the jerk will be good physically for her and that she will improve. The stress in that home is huge. He is a narcissist truly. I am praying for a silver lining. I will call my state legislators to see if there are any programs for the people left in the addicts dust. The addicts are treated with kid gloves and there is nothing that is not done for them. What’s wrong with this picture????

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@sandyjr. is she in the US? If so can she get insured through the ACA? I don’t know much about it but when my daughter was a free-lancer she did have coverage through that. I know that the current administration wants to get rid of it but I am pretty sure that hasn’t happened yet. I think if she can get insured through that it’s her best option probably.
JK

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@sandyjr Contact your local Department of Health and Resources. They can probably help guide your daughter. I imagine the stress she is undergoing is not helping her health.

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