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Hi, Loss of a best friend
Dear members of this support group,
I am writing to you today because I find myself in a deeply challenging situation. For the past nine years, I have considered a particular person my very best friend, and now, unfortunately, I can no longer communicate with them. This unexpected rift in our friendship has left me feeling lost and uncertain about how to proceed. I am reaching out to this community seeking any advice, shared experiences, or insights you might be willing to offer on how to navigate this difficult and painful time. I am open to any suggestions on how to cope with this loss, whether it be strategies for processing my emotions, recommendations for maintaining my own well-being, or even just knowing that I am not alone in experiencing this kind of heartbreak. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Ginny
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It's been my experience that life is a series of both joyous and sorrowful events. Making a new friend leads us into new experiences that we might never have known. It enlarges our tribe and contributes to our well-being. The loss of a friend, due to a myriad of reasons (job change, divorce, illness, death, disagreement, etc) is a fact of life. It's painful. It hurts. It causes us to question everything about the relationship.
The Five Stages of Grief are very real, and no doubt you are feeling them now. I recently lost my best friend of fifty six years to cancer. I can't change that. But I can reflect on all the great times we had and that cushions the pain to a degree.
I am also estranged from my brother and one of my two remaining sisters. They refuse to accept my transition and as much as I'd like to have at least a civil relationship with them, its unlikely they will ever be a part of my life again. This also hurts.
There is no prescription for how to deal with these losses. All I can do is leave my metaphorical door open; should there be a change of heart, there's room to reestablish the relationship.
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1 Reaction@bobbie4481
yeah
soooo sorry.. I had a man for 20 yrs. Ended badly so kinda know your loss... May I suggest:
1) be with CARiNG friends regardless of their orientation. 2) Review Your GOOD values/interests and remember/focus on them!...
3) when you're over your initial deep pain... slowly start associating with pple/women who have some common interests... and.
4) BE your Authentic true self!... I know a few gay couples, 2nd relationships for each, who know that being AUTHENTIC can make a difference; tho many (gay-men) haven't quit learned it IS OK to be HONEST,, AND,, KNOW that each person needs to compromise some. As Dan Savage said, each person hopes to start @ 65% likes of the other, and visa versa... then over time people may come together... OR... "what's the Price of Admission to the relationship?.. There ARE certain things each do to the other.... yet if the other's (mine) deficients are X%, does that person offer enough goodness to overcompensate for the negatives?... kinda like: if the other LUVS rollerCoaster: The other may LOVE them. I/you may hate it,,, but does this cuz I know the Other provides enough GOODness that is better than the rollercoaster, negatives? It's about Balance AND Honest caring communications !.. persevere!!.
@gregda
thanks