have had a good weekend; for the first time in months I actually slept for more than 4 hours. I have come to the acceptance that the fibromyalgia is just one of those things I must live with and have decided to make the most of the warm baths which give me such great comfort from the pain. I have also discovered that I can lessen the horrid cramping I suffer from when I must intubate to empty my BCIR pouch is much less if I intubate every 2-3 hours. It is not ideal but until the docs figure out the cause of the pain it is the best solution I can find. I realize that we all have many dragons to face in our lives and that dragons are conquered in different ways, often requiring that we think outside the box so to speak....I trust in the Lord and know that He is with me always and knows my pains and difficulties. He knows how hard it is to live with PTSD and physical illnesses. He understands the extreme frustrations that come from treatment resistant depression and blood counts that never show infections even when MRSA and ecoli are present. He is with me and remains my constant companion. I am learning to live a quiet life,somewhat of an outcast because of living with DID for over 50 years before the glorious gift of integration. Conversations can be very uncomfortable when one can't remember that time in life. My PTSD Service Dog, Yorrdan, has given me a freedom that I never expected and I know that life will get better. I just needed to get to the place of acceptance that my body and mind are not perfect in the eyes of man, but in God's eyes I am exactly the person He wants for me to be.