Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is tough for a lot of people. It was for me, for many years. A reminder -- as if I needed one -- that I was alone.

However, I didn't give up, and things worked out. So don't give up hope!

Speaking of not giving up, this Valentine's Day I have some progress to report on my stroke recovery, even after more than seven years:

@scottrl

That's wonderful news!

My Experience with Valentines Day.....

My husband is not sure who I am after 58 years of marriage. He started the day using Mupirocin that was intended for his head after Moh's surgery for cancer but instead he used it to brush his teeth.

Heaven help me!!!

@katrina123

Yes, heaven help all of us caregivers. (Sometimes, I am so exhausted that I pick up a tube of hydrocortisone cream or Preparation H, and start putting it on my toothbrush! Many times through the day, I misplace my car keys or wallet. Franakly, I need a caretaker myself.)

Sometime ago, one of the forum members posted this poem--and @wmc reads it daily, and I am reposting it because I need to read it daily, too:

Do not ask me to remember,
Don’t try to make me understand,
Let me rest and know you’re with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept,
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me,
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I’m acting,
Can’t be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone,
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ’til my life is done.
– Owen Darnell

@georgescraftjr I had to answer this poem because I pick up my moisturizer almost every day - go figure - and put it on my tooth brush instead of toothpaste. OMG. and yes, I wake up, as dog tired as when I went to bed.
This poem is so good, I clipped it and am keeping it.
Best, to all caregivers..

@kjc48

...but I bet you have never walked off with your car keys hanging in the car door, or even more alarming, with the keys in the ignition while the engine was running!

@katrina123

Yes, heaven help all of us caregivers. (Sometimes, I am so exhausted that I pick up a tube of hydrocortisone cream or Preparation H, and start putting it on my toothbrush! Many times through the day, I misplace my car keys or wallet. Franakly, I need a caretaker myself.)

Sometime ago, one of the forum members posted this poem--and @wmc reads it daily, and I am reposting it because I need to read it daily, too:

Do not ask me to remember,
Don’t try to make me understand,
Let me rest and know you’re with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept,
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me,
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I’m acting,
Can’t be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone,
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ’til my life is done.
– Owen Darnell

@georgescraftjr I agree with everything in that poem except I really don't believe that the best of him is gone. His quiet nature and good manners are still intact. He still responds to hugs and kisses and no longer challenges me on how I spend our money. That was always a battle when I wanted to buy something he didn't feel we needed. I know my husband did not choose this disease. It just is. I feel like I have a choice to fight it and wring my hands or accept the challenge and make plans to ensure our wellbeing and make the most of our time together. I will be heartbroken when he's gone and don't want to have any regrets regarding my behavior. I have had to make adjustments and explore various options to meet this challenge including initially having strangers from a care agency sit with him from 11pm to 7am so I could get some much need sleep. Now I have a dear friend who moved in with us to sit with him Monday through Friday and I take Saturday and Sunday nights. It is working well for us. I know he needs me to be at his side to comfort him when he is confused or anxious. I make sure that he is safe, fed nutritious food, sees all him doctors and as many of his friends and family as possible even if that means calling them and asking them to come over to say HI and have a cup of coffee with us. I am hoping that he stays in this stage as long as possible but even if he no longer knows me, he will always be with me no matter what that looks like.