Feeling sad and hopeless. Life has been an uphill battle. Tired of the struggle.
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I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way. One thing I forget is that my friends want to help. I know I am awful at calling friends when I’m low. Try to call someone and go have a coffee or lunch but try to get out. It’s important that you try. You are important. Don’t give up!
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Thank you. You are right. I just don’t like being around people very much.
I have always found it hard to be around people. My greatest difficulty with people has always been with my mother, father and sisters.
I have always felt other peoples feelings, something I learned is now called deep empathy. Unfortunately, as I developed deep empathy as a way to protect myself from trauma most of what I have often felt from other people is negative.
I'm sure they felt other feelings as well but nice feelings don't hurt, so my emotional radar was never really on the look out for them.
Then I had children. My children were like emotional heat sinks for me. Without a word passing between us I could feel their love and my pain would subside. Recently I have needed them more than ever. Unfortunately due to a number of tragic mistakes that I have made, I've not had any contact with them for ten years.
Okay that's the sad part.
The good part, that I hope might help you is, I've not forgotten what that peace felt like.
I know seek out places where other people are who are likely to be kind and full of love congregate. I don't really talk to anyone. I just try to sit quietly and really see them. Most people are kind. Most people are wounded and lonely. Most people simply want to be loved. The commonality of all of these feelings warms and comforts me.
I don't have to look far and wide. Loving, kind, flawed people are everywhere. I see them at the gym, the coffee shop, on the street, everywhere. I avoid places that are likely to bring out the worst in people and in me. I always know when I am not in a place that is good for my soul. Usually some kind of struggle over money is involved.
When I'm on overload, good and bad, I look for a quit place to experience the beauty of what this world has to offer. For me that is nature and the arts.
Sadness, grief and sometimes even despair, is a part of being human. I have found that my suffering can be decreased by seeking peace and (yeah it sounds trite) trying to spread love and kindness. It relieves me of the burden of self.
I hope you find the peace you deserve.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, i have been where you are and it doesn't seem like life will get any better, don't give up on people, don't give up on yourself. Sometimes the sadness and grief is overwhelming, and you wonder what am i here for. Everyone has their own way of dealing with it, i can only tell you how i got over mine and i hope it can help you. i had to make myself leave my home, to make an effort to get out and be around people. First it was just going to the park and just saying hello to everyone, (believe me I'm not an outgoing person). Some will return the greeting, someone will not. I didn't let it mess up my day, after a while people would get used to seeing me, they would start to stop and have a little conversation. Now i've learned that when i get outside of my own head and focused on helping others and a whole lot of having a relationship with my GOD, has saved my life. Don't get me wrong, life still has its ups and downs, but now i know that tomorrow brings a new day and i have peace in my life.
There is a very good TED video on picking up on the emotions of others and your own reactivity. The psychologist in the video does not say that there is something « wrong » with empathy or feeling the emotions of others. She also doesn’t suggest that the other person needs to change. She does suggest skills to help you get through these difficult interactions. I have watched this video many times and find the information helpful and the skills, as explained, very useful.
Please watch the video all the way through as the skills to use at toward the end of the video.
How to avoid catching prickly emotions from others:
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