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amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 610
Joined: Jul 02, 2012

~ Guess this is it forever ~

Posted by @amberpep, Wed, Nov 28 11:17am

As some of you know, I moved to Staunton, VA from Frederick, MD about 3 years ago. It's been a really rough road as I loved my condo in MD, had lots of good friends, my church, neighbors, and knew Frederick like the back of my hand …. I'd lived there for 30 years. Then after 40 years I got divorced and bought my own condo in Frederick ….. I was so happy. Well, my girls convinced me to move down here as that's where they are and at 73 I knew someday I'd need help. I'm slowly adjusting …. it's sure better than it was, but ….. my X lives down the highway about 15 miles in a big house on 3 acres of land and here I am in a low-income apt. It's a nice apt. but it comes with all the problems that usually are there ….. drugs, a "ho", and the occasional gunshot in the night. I heard this morning that something good to keep in your pocket was a hockey puck to hit an intruder over the head. If nothing else, it would give one time to get away. I don't know how much longer I can handle being this close to my X. He's a narcissist, so I see him at family gatherings. I saw him at Thanksgiving, I'll see him at Christmas. After that I'll only go when I want to ….. no more "every picnic, every celebration" blah, blah, blah" ……. I know my girls will be upset, but I just can't keep doing this. At 73 (almost 74), I think I've earned the right to decide, without being coaxed by them, or being told, "but Mom you have to go." No I don't, and I won't.
abby

REPLY

@amberpep I hope you can begin to adjust/adapt to these circumstances. Sometimes acceptance is the biggest step.

I am 70 and have depressieoulon
And anxiety disorder. Clinical depression and arthritis. I wish people wouldn't judge you and think your depression is a character flaw, especially if you're a Christian.

You're absolutely right pjss48. Just because I'm a Christian I'm not supposed to have any difficulties …. those are the ones I never tell anything to. They're very judgmental. Since I've gotten here I have not been able to find a church. I'm Western Orthodox and the only ones down here are Eastern Ortho. They believe the same, but their service format is totally different and I'm not at all comfortable with parts of it.
I've also been wondering if the alimony portion of a divorce can be reopened after this long – 12 years. I don't get any alimony (I won't go into why right now – most of the folks know). My son is a lawyer, but I sure can't ask him.
I'm just putting it out there …… does anyone know?
abby

Thank you for getting back to me. Our church closed. Hard times. I also have arthritis. I will pray for you!

@amberpep

You're absolutely right pjss48. Just because I'm a Christian I'm not supposed to have any difficulties …. those are the ones I never tell anything to. They're very judgmental. Since I've gotten here I have not been able to find a church. I'm Western Orthodox and the only ones down here are Eastern Ortho. They believe the same, but their service format is totally different and I'm not at all comfortable with parts of it.
I've also been wondering if the alimony portion of a divorce can be reopened after this long – 12 years. I don't get any alimony (I won't go into why right now – most of the folks know). My son is a lawyer, but I sure can't ask him.
I'm just putting it out there …… does anyone know?
abby

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@amberpep if you have elder law office near you I would check with them for a family law attorney that can review the divorce paperwork, and see if there is a way to reopen for alimony. Also, please do not let your family pressure you into feeling that you have to attend every celebration. That is them controlling you and you are stronger than that! You'll learn to put yourself first after putting others first for so many years. Will be thinking of you and praying for you.
Ginger

Liked by Parus

@amberpep My thinking as to what @gingerw has offered. There are some things that are more harmful to you. I can understand your wanting to please-just be careful.

Liked by gingerw

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