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gummal
@gummal

Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 14, 2015

Grandson and suicidal thoughts: Will this ever pass?

Posted by @gummal, May 21, 2017

My grandson will be graduating from high school this weekend. He is very intelligent and also very talented. He could go into anything he would want to do for his future. 2 1/2 years ago, out of the blue, he was thinking suicide. We were totally taken away by this. There were no previous signs. After waiting many hours to find a bed to inter him into a hospital, he did the 3 day stay and back home to school soon after. He has had more serious suicidal thoughts , making it difficult to leave him on his own. Several more trips to hospital, counseling, meds and the depression rig a moroll. Since then he has missed a tremendous school days. Realizing he won’t always feel that down so shutting himself in his room until he feels sorta normal again. He is headed for college this fall and doubtful his nasty old nightmare is over. I am so concerned for his future lif. What can we do. Will this ever pass ?? jL

REPLY

@gummal Thank you for sharing your grandson’s story with us. I am so sorry to hear of his problems with suicidal thoughts. These types of mental health problems are difficult for both the patient and the family as you can undoubtedly attest. I would urge you all to get involved with NAMI (National Association on Mental Illness). They have support groups and educational services for both family members and patients who are dealing with these troublesome problems. They are a wonderful organization! You do not mention any diagnosis that your grandson was given during his hospitalizations, if you are comfortable sharing that information, perhaps others in our Mayo Connect Community can respond regarding their own personal experiences or about a family member with that diagnosis. I do wish your grandson well as he enters college. This is always a time of transition for young people and I’m sure you are both pleased and concerned for him. Please feel free to share as you are comfortable with us. I believe that you will find the Mental Health group to be very kind and supportive of you during this time. Wishing you peace, strength and hope! Teresa

Hello @gummal Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and both my son and I suffered through episodes of depression in our college years. I was too old for anyone to recognize my situation as anything more than the ‘blues’ or teenage angst. Only by the luck of the draw did I manage to claw through those years by myself.

With our son we were better prepared as a family, but his school was not. Support and help were promised, but not delivered. Once he was 18 the school refused to share information with us as he was ‘an adult’. A tough lesson to learn during a crisis situation. In a mutual decision he changed to a different university, was supported immensely, and managed to graduate.

From our experiences I would suggest your grandson fully share his history with the Dean of Students and college medical center team. Also be sure to get HIPPA papers signed so his guardians are privy to any necessary information in the future. Also the university may need a similar authorization so they can update guardians on attendance, grades, etc.

Peace and strength.

@hopeful33250

@gummal Thank you for sharing your grandson’s story with us. I am so sorry to hear of his problems with suicidal thoughts. These types of mental health problems are difficult for both the patient and the family as you can undoubtedly attest. I would urge you all to get involved with NAMI (National Association on Mental Illness). They have support groups and educational services for both family members and patients who are dealing with these troublesome problems. They are a wonderful organization! You do not mention any diagnosis that your grandson was given during his hospitalizations, if you are comfortable sharing that information, perhaps others in our Mayo Connect Community can respond regarding their own personal experiences or about a family member with that diagnosis. I do wish your grandson well as he enters college. This is always a time of transition for young people and I’m sure you are both pleased and concerned for him. Please feel free to share as you are comfortable with us. I believe that you will find the Mental Health group to be very kind and supportive of you during this time. Wishing you peace, strength and hope! Teresa

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Thankyou for your reply. I am familiar with NAMI. I am a member and have taken the course with other concerned individuals. I have read many self help books on the subject. You see, forty years ago I personally experienced a period of depression and was hospitalized for 10 days. That was something very new to our small hospital but they did get me through and after a few years, I knew that I never wanted to go through that again and by taking a anti depressant daily, have controled it. I have a granddaughter that also had a very rough time in her senior year of HS. They diagnoised her as schizophrenic. She had several very uncomfortable years, but graduated from college this year and seems to be very normal, after learning how to handle it. My grandson has been diagnosed as just Depression. I am having trouble trying to understand why and how, but he is just not able to control his. jL

@IndianaScott

Hello @gummal Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and both my son and I suffered through episodes of depression in our college years. I was too old for anyone to recognize my situation as anything more than the ‘blues’ or teenage angst. Only by the luck of the draw did I manage to claw through those years by myself.

With our son we were better prepared as a family, but his school was not. Support and help were promised, but not delivered. Once he was 18 the school refused to share information with us as he was ‘an adult’. A tough lesson to learn during a crisis situation. In a mutual decision he changed to a different university, was supported immensely, and managed to graduate.

From our experiences I would suggest your grandson fully share his history with the Dean of Students and college medical center team. Also be sure to get HIPPA papers signed so his guardians are privy to any necessary information in the future. Also the university may need a similar authorization so they can update guardians on attendance, grades, etc.

Peace and strength.

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Thank You Scott. That is all very good advice. I also have a granddaughter who has had mental health issues and she followed through with your suggestions. She graduated this Spring and seems back to her almost normal self, after really understanding her disease. My GS also understands his situation and has tried hard to over come but this is scaring me. It just seems to hound him. Don’t you think there is a reason, or cause for this? His mother keeps saying “it is just a disease.” I understand that but still believe somewhere in his mind there is a reason that has not been uncovered. Guess I am looking for a miracle to happen.
Back in my history, some forty years ago I experienced depression. Was hospitalized for 10 days and with very hard work, finally, along with a antidepressant pill, was able to control it. I have continued to study and look at my self and the why’s and continue to read all I can get my hands on. I just hope that he will be able to do the same and,
lead a normal life. Thank you so much for your support, I so appreciate having someone that I can confide in. jL

@IndianaScott

Hello @gummal Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and both my son and I suffered through episodes of depression in our college years. I was too old for anyone to recognize my situation as anything more than the ‘blues’ or teenage angst. Only by the luck of the draw did I manage to claw through those years by myself.

With our son we were better prepared as a family, but his school was not. Support and help were promised, but not delivered. Once he was 18 the school refused to share information with us as he was ‘an adult’. A tough lesson to learn during a crisis situation. In a mutual decision he changed to a different university, was supported immensely, and managed to graduate.

From our experiences I would suggest your grandson fully share his history with the Dean of Students and college medical center team. Also be sure to get HIPPA papers signed so his guardians are privy to any necessary information in the future. Also the university may need a similar authorization so they can update guardians on attendance, grades, etc.

Peace and strength.

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@gummal I really appreciate your desire to be insightful and look for the reason behind your grandson’s depression. If there is a specific reason for his depression, he will probably be the only one who can discover it and that insight may not come to him right away. Depression, however, can come from chemical imbalances in the brain, thus the need for antidepressant medication. As there seems to be a family history of depression, this chemical imbalance may be the problem. Needless to say, I can understand your desire for a “miracle to happen” as you say.

I certainly concur with what Scott had to say about being sure that your grandson has legal documents in place so his parents can talk with doctors, counselors, etc. about physical/mental illnesses. In addition to the HIPPA paperwork, a power of attorney for medical/mental health decisions is also a good document. Once an individual turns 18, the medical profession needs to have paperwork in place in order to talk to others. This is probably an important step to take on your grandson’s behalf. Keep in touch with us at Mayo Connect, we look forward to hearing from you again. Teresa

@IndianaScott

Hello @gummal Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and both my son and I suffered through episodes of depression in our college years. I was too old for anyone to recognize my situation as anything more than the ‘blues’ or teenage angst. Only by the luck of the draw did I manage to claw through those years by myself.

With our son we were better prepared as a family, but his school was not. Support and help were promised, but not delivered. Once he was 18 the school refused to share information with us as he was ‘an adult’. A tough lesson to learn during a crisis situation. In a mutual decision he changed to a different university, was supported immensely, and managed to graduate.

From our experiences I would suggest your grandson fully share his history with the Dean of Students and college medical center team. Also be sure to get HIPPA papers signed so his guardians are privy to any necessary information in the future. Also the university may need a similar authorization so they can update guardians on attendance, grades, etc.

Peace and strength.

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Hello again, @gummal One of the challenges with depression is it seems to effect each person in some unique ways. This disease coupled with its effects on the individual makes it all the harder to conquer at times. Personally what helped me did not help our son. Other avenues did though. Thankfully medical progress is ongoing with this disease and new medicines and insights may be on the horizon for your grandson.

Peace and strength

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