Going without psychotherapy

Posted by lsittll @lsittll, Jun 27 10:56pm

I had a therapist who was of no help. With COVID-19 the office where she does counseling is closed to the public. I cannot get another counselor there to replace her. All therapy sessions are by phone. During a time when I was having phone problems she called for a therapy session and my phone wasn't working , it did not ring when she called. She charged me a no show fee. Because of this, her being of no help and giving me no support I stopped seeing her about two months ago. My doctor has referred me to a therapist who has never contacted me and I am waiting to have a center call me when it has an opening to see a therapist. My selection of therapists is limited because I am in an HMO. Going without psychotherapy when you have depression can really make a difference. I have not shared any of the feelings of the worsening of my depression with my doctor or let her know I stopped seeing my therapist so long ago. I have extra 60 days of Cymbalta and so I self medicate myself and increase the amount of medicine until I find a therapist. Are there others who notice a big difference when they go without psychotherapy when they have received it on a regular basis?

I just need to talk to someone. Negative thoughts are more frequent. I'm on a waiting list for two community resources.

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@junkartist

I just need to talk to someone. Negative thoughts are more frequent. I'm on a waiting list for two community resources.

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Hi Junkartist, I'm here. I'm listening. You're not alone. What's going on today?

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@colleenyoung

Hi Junkartist, I'm here. I'm listening. You're not alone. What's going on today?

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I woke up teary today. I went to exercise and that helped. I try to turn my mind to one of my projects. I do what I can although I am moving like molasses. It mainly centers around my adult children, two of which are not talking to me. Writing about it now, I am crying again. Today the negative thoughts about guilt over money spent on my further education, which hasn't done me much good instead of saving for theirs. Thank you for listening.

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I so sympathize with you. I have very little contact with my adult son (only child) and his new family. Their lives are firmly connected to his new wife's family who live nearby while I'm 7 hours away. I'm lucky if I get a phone call from him every 2-3 weeks. I remember every birthday, holiday, etc., with cards and gifts (which they don't need), but my grandchildren hardly know me. I visit when my health allows, but there's never been any interest in visiting me- not once in 15 years. I feel like an acquaintance rather than a mother/grandmother. It's the worst emotional painI I can imagine – almost as bad as dealing with the death of my husband. Conversations are always congenial but lack any emotional connection. I feel totally alone in the world – even though I'm remarried to a very nice man who is very sympathetic to my situation. I love them all, and I'm grateful they're all healthy and successful, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

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@authorchris

I so sympathize with you. I have very little contact with my adult son (only child) and his new family. Their lives are firmly connected to his new wife's family who live nearby while I'm 7 hours away. I'm lucky if I get a phone call from him every 2-3 weeks. I remember every birthday, holiday, etc., with cards and gifts (which they don't need), but my grandchildren hardly know me. I visit when my health allows, but there's never been any interest in visiting me- not once in 15 years. I feel like an acquaintance rather than a mother/grandmother. It's the worst emotional painI I can imagine – almost as bad as dealing with the death of my husband. Conversations are always congenial but lack any emotional connection. I feel totally alone in the world – even though I'm remarried to a very nice man who is very sympathetic to my situation. I love them all, and I'm grateful they're all healthy and successful, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

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Good afternoon @authorchris, how very, very sad. It must just hurt like heck to be ignored by your family. Are you 7 hours away by car or plane? How old are your grandchildren?

I have no magic answers. Here is something that I did during the COVID episode and now continue to do because it works to keep us close. On Wednesday evenings we have a
bed party on Zoom for an hour or so. I am now 1500 miles away. When they were younger and only two hours away and came to visit, we would have real bed parties….telling jokes, and sharing stories……even jumping on the bed when they were little. Sometimes we laugh and there have been tears. I try to have a subject in mind to which they can respond…..a favorite memory or activity, their plans for an event they are anticipating.

My "nice man" always joins us to say hello and tell them about the chipmunks or the deer that come visiting. It takes two to tango though so maybe you can get your son to give it a try.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris

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Yes @autochris it hurts very much to be ignored by your family. I have been ignored by my family all my life. Only my one aunt out of six of them did anything for me. I moved to Baltimore 24 years to get away from my family. I have a brother but he hasn't talked to ne in over 20 years. The nice memories I have of him are gone. In fact the nice memories of any of my family are gone.

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@junkartist

I woke up teary today. I went to exercise and that helped. I try to turn my mind to one of my projects. I do what I can although I am moving like molasses. It mainly centers around my adult children, two of which are not talking to me. Writing about it now, I am crying again. Today the negative thoughts about guilt over money spent on my further education, which hasn't done me much good instead of saving for theirs. Thank you for listening.

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Junkartist, exercise can help. I'm glad that you were motivated to go. And that you turned your mind to a project that gives you an outlet to refocus. Is it an art project?

Have you considered enlisting the help of a social worker to help find another therapist? What about contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness? Here's the link to their website https://www.nami.org/Home

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Thank you for your advice. Yes, I'm working on a painting about my journey. I've had some contact with NAMI, but hadn't thought b of them in terms of finding a therapist. I see the doctor who prescribed my medicine tomorrow and she may be able to help. I'll let you know. Thanks for caring.

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