friend severely depressed

Posted by Maldonado11 @maldonado11, Oct 25, 2011

I don’t know what to say anymore. A good friend of mi d has battled depression for many years. She has in the past attempted suicide. She was hospitalized by her family but it didnt’ seem to help her. She’s tried counslers and anti-depressants. She has been through a lot (way more than her share). 2010 was a very traumatic year for her. About a year ago she moved to another state and got a new job and she was happy for a change. I was so relieved to see her doing well. And then things at her job became volatile and she fell right back into a deep depression. I have done my best to be there for her even though I can’t be there (I live five hours away in another state). I try to be encouraging but it doesn’t help. I’ve learned to gauge her moods but its unsettling and I’m worried about her. What can I do?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

What type of things has she been through? There might be support groups that can help her deal with her past specifically, i.e. adult children of alcoholics for dysfunctional family or support groups for grief, etc.


If you can go visit her, I would do so. Then you can see for yourself how she is really doing. People don’t always tell you everything in email or over the phone. Sometimes too many changes in a short period of time can bring on depression too. I think it is called ‘adjustment depression’. Moving, new job, new environment, etc. are all stressful life events that when coupled together in a year or so, can take a toll. The reason I say go visit her is because I had a friend that was depressed, in counseling, etc. and I did not go visit him after he called me for advice. I thought he was better off in the hands of professionals. I did not know he was suicidal but I did know he was suffering from depression from the loss of his wife (she met another man, left him and wanted a divorce).

I think it is important for people to know that someone cares enough to visit, if that is feasible. In retrospect, my husband and i should have gone to see our friend. We were only a two hour drive from him. He was a close enough friend that he would call and he did come and visit us after we moved away. We had no indication that he would be suicidal. Most people that go through with it don’t tell anyone, they just do it. I’ll always wonder if there wasn’t more I could have done that would have made our friend realize how much we genuinely cared about him.

Our friend committed suicide on Halloween in 1990. I hope your friend will realize that you care about her so much that she would not dream of leaving you on this earth wondering why she didn’t tell you how she felt before she killed herself. Make the effort, if you can find the time to make your friend a priority. Maybe she will choose life, unlike our dear friend, Mike.


I say this of me, in hope that it may help another, not to judge or criticise. Even though I took my meds I continued to drink alchol and self medicate between mood swings, things did’nt change much, I continued to cycle like clock work from good to bad, but when I stopped all self medicating got help for this, and began conitive behavioral therepy, and earnestly applied the truth of the therepy over the lie I told myself over and over, It was like awakening from a forty year coma, and today I am learning that joy does exist in my life. Not mishap free but manageble.


Read my post on electroconvulsive therapy. I have the same diagnosis.


Just be her friend….. Support her.

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