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Fluctuating moods, and energy levels
Hello my fellow caregivers,
My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year and it seems like I’ve been on a roller coaster ever since. First the mood swings, one day he will ask me for help, but then when I offer he has a meltdown saying he doesn’t need my help. I can ask a simple question like when he walks in the room and I ask him what’s you doing, or what’s up and he loses his temper. Next day he is giving me his complete Itinerary for the day.
For a couple of weeks he will do nothing, stay in his pj’s all day and sleep, then all of the sudden he’s fine out working in the yard. Hoping someone can tell me if this is normal behavior ( well nothing about this is normal 😢) and should I just go with the Fluctuations? I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time ☹️
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@akela09
Have you chatted with his doctor about mood stabilizers?
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3 Reactions@judimahoney they have him on flueoxetine so that has helped.
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2 ReactionsYour story is like mine, and please know you are not alone. Like your husband, mine was first diagnosed with a vascular dementia 2 years ago, and he too has periods where he sleeps most of the day, and then gets some energy and wants to do the lawn and trim the bushes. We live in Florida so it is a HOT summer, which I have read is not good for the body and the brain.
So this year the diagnosis changed to Alzheimer’s disease. For me, I now let him sleep when he feels like it. I feel blessed that he does have energy at times, and still goes to Church most Sundays and sometimes we go for lunch or see friends.
This took a LONG time to let go and now Mayo Connect gives me a boost every day. I also, like others, will be returning to visits with a psychologist to help me through this. I realize things will get worse but “One day at a time”.
Please continue to learn about dementia and we at this site are here for you!
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7 ReactionsYou're not alone. Their rollercoaster becomes our rollercoaster.
One thing I've learned is to limit my quetions. A simple question like "how are you feeling" can be stressful and difficult to answer. It might seem simple yet it uses a bit of executive function to figure it out. Then, find the words to explain, and they might not even know the answer so then the frustration can pop up. Frustration that they can't answer quickly and then it comes out as anger towards you and also inward frustration.
And it fluctuates rapidly at times. So I learned to pause before asking questions and do my best to reword. My Mom is no longer able to asnwer if I ask how she's doing it so I tell her "You look good today." or something like that.
Hang in there!
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6 ReactionsI’m trying to use sentences and ask no questions. My DH used to be a very active man but now sleeps up to 12 hours at night. During the day he just sits and stares with frequent naps. I feel so alone. It’s heartbreaking. I got a referral for therapy from my PCP. My first appt is tomorrow and I know I’m going to spill the tears that have been building up for too long. I’m lucky that I have supportive friends but nobody truly understands unless they are living it.
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7 Reactions@lag630 I’m glad you’re are going to therapy, if nothing else being able to dump all the anger, guilt, and sadness to someone without fear of being judged is great. Ive been reading a lot also, so I’m learning, thanks for your input and hugs to you
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2 Reactions@tracidw Thank you for your reply and suggestion, this is why this group is so important, I now understand more about questions and how to communicate with him. 🤗🤗🤗
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3 Reactions@marilynt Thank you for your reply, we are on a hard road, but wonderful people like you taking a minute to read and relate mean so much to me. 🤗🤗🤗
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