Feel like I'm gonna die soon

Posted by danybegood1 @danybegood1, Apr 6, 2018

Dany here. Haven't posted in a while. I feel very physically ill. Nausea and headaches every day seems like. Blood tests normal. I have diabetes 2, fibro, hypothyroidism, osteoarthritis, gastroparesis, HA almost 2 years ago. I am in deep depression. Started therapy, 2 visits so far. Not enough I know. Will keep going. I need help with whatever is wrong, but I don't know who to ask, and I don't know if anything physically is wrong more than what I've listed. I'm just very confused, worried, and sick. Any ideas? Dany

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Hi Dany, so good to hear from you again. I was wondering where you were. Sorry to hear that illness, pain and suffering is what has kept you away. I'm bringing is some of the members you've connected with before like @amberpep @hopeful33250 @jimhd and @gman007. I'm sure they'll appreciate hearing from you and offer support.
How long have you been experiencing the nausea and headaches? Are these new symptoms?

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Hi Dany,
So sorry you are going through so much. I am glad you are seeking out the assistance of a therapist. When suffering from a chronic illness and/or pain, depression is not unusual. You become physically and emotionally exhausted.
I suffer from many of your ailments (I don't know what HA is). In addition, I suffer from many issues with my cervical and lumbar spines including severe spinal stenosis. Almost 6 weeks ago, I had surgery on my cervical spine. The doc replaced C5/6 with artificial disks. This past Tuesday I had my lumbar injections.
Feeling some relief certainly has lifted my spirits a bit.
I pray that you find some support and relief.
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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Hi Dany. I will echo the thoughts of others, but I am sorry you are experiencing so much difficulty. I know that if I do not have good blood sugar control, I get headaches, but certainly not everyday and I don't imagine that yours stays hugely abnormal for extended periods. I also have hypothyroidism, but have never associated it with headaches, but mine stays pretty much right in the middle of normal when ever blood work is done. I am attempting to taper off the benzo I have been taking for anxiety so we can try something with less potentially dangerous side effects and during the first 5-7 days that I make an additional reduction, I have all kinds of physical symptoms that are abnormal for me. It is impossible to know if there is any connection between your emotional difficulties and the physical, but I am learning that the brain not working as it should can cause all kinds of physical issues and vice versa. I would definitely ask the therapist for their thoughts about any correlation and I am glad you are making that effort to feel better. I start with a new one this week myself - kinda scary, but necessary. Please keep us up to speed with how you are and I will send prayers and as much positive force as possible.
Gary

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Hi, @danybegood1

Feeling the way you do would almost certainly affect your mental stability. I think it's almost universally true. Since I'm part of that universe, it's definitely true for me. I often converse with my therapist about the effect pain and other physical conditions are affecting me. I go through times when I think that I'm going to die, whether it's naturally or by my own hand. Life is incredibly hard.

Going on, even just moving forward, takes the combined effort of therapists, doctors, friends, family, God, church, and anyone else involved with our care. I've learned that I can't do it on my own anymore. Sometimes the strength or motivation is used up.

The brain is an amazing organ. I'm reading a book called "How I Stayed Alive when my Brain Was Trying to Kill Me", by Susan Blauner. One thing she writes about is learning to outsmart our brains. Of course, we can't just outsmart a real disease away, but the brain is a useful tool in coping with the difficulties thrown our way. A good therapist will help people to find the most helpful tools for their own situation. I hope your therapist does that for you, Dany.

Jim

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@colleenyoung

Hi Dany, so good to hear from you again. I was wondering where you were. Sorry to hear that illness, pain and suffering is what has kept you away. I'm bringing is some of the members you've connected with before like @amberpep @hopeful33250 @jimhd and @gman007. I'm sure they'll appreciate hearing from you and offer support.
How long have you been experiencing the nausea and headaches? Are these new symptoms?

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Colleen, I'm having a major issue on the website trying to reply.  I'm getting the error message, "We're sorry, but we experienced an issue creating this comment. Please try again."
Here is my reply.
Hi all, with gastroparesis, the nausea seems to always be there.  But, I've been having a lot of pain from my hips down, and in back of my calves, and top of thighs.  My feet feel like football's, my hands are catchers mitts, feel swollen, skin is sore, plus joints, but they don't look swollen, or too red.  Still have the all over itch.  Can't take Norco very often bc it just makes itch worse, but pain, got to take the Norco or can't stand it.  I have an appointment with my pcp on Monday, and will make appointment with neurologist also on Monday.  I have discovered that the 3 conditions I have can all cause itching.  Diabetes, fibro, hypothyroidism. I've  tried antihistamines, creams, and lotions.  None work.  I may be just having a fibro flare, but it is awful.  Hurt all over.  I know there are people out there with much worse problems than mine and my heart goes out to them.  How do people handle great pain?  My mind boggles.  Also, brother in the hospital with emphysema and pneumonia.  They're trying to wean him off of the ventilator but is difficult.  I still read many of your posts, all of you, so you are not too far away from me.  But I still so lonely.  Dany
Can you let everyone know how much I appreciate their kind words, and yours?  Thank you, Dany

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@gman007

Hi Dany. I will echo the thoughts of others, but I am sorry you are experiencing so much difficulty. I know that if I do not have good blood sugar control, I get headaches, but certainly not everyday and I don't imagine that yours stays hugely abnormal for extended periods. I also have hypothyroidism, but have never associated it with headaches, but mine stays pretty much right in the middle of normal when ever blood work is done. I am attempting to taper off the benzo I have been taking for anxiety so we can try something with less potentially dangerous side effects and during the first 5-7 days that I make an additional reduction, I have all kinds of physical symptoms that are abnormal for me. It is impossible to know if there is any connection between your emotional difficulties and the physical, but I am learning that the brain not working as it should can cause all kinds of physical issues and vice versa. I would definitely ask the therapist for their thoughts about any correlation and I am glad you are making that effort to feel better. I start with a new one this week myself - kinda scary, but necessary. Please keep us up to speed with how you are and I will send prayers and as much positive force as possible.
Gary

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Thank you Gary.  I'm having trouble replying through the website. I'm getting an error message.  Prayers are good.
Dany

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Hello @danybegood1

I am concerned for you. Chronic pain, along with nausea are difficult to deal with individually and when you put them together it is very hard. Are you able to eat? Good nutrition and some moderate exercise is important when you have Diabetes. The combination of food and physical activity can also lift the mood.

Keep in touch. I'm looking forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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@colleenyoung

Hi Dany, so good to hear from you again. I was wondering where you were. Sorry to hear that illness, pain and suffering is what has kept you away. I'm bringing is some of the members you've connected with before like @amberpep @hopeful33250 @jimhd and @gman007. I'm sure they'll appreciate hearing from you and offer support.
How long have you been experiencing the nausea and headaches? Are these new symptoms?

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Hi Dany ..... I feel so sorry for you and the situation you are dealing with. Perhaps going to a major medical center .... Mayo Clinic, Johns Hopkins (Baltimore), and I'm sure there are others, and have them do a complete workup on you would provide you with some answers. In the meantime, I agree, that therapy would be extremely valuable for you in helping you cope with this load of situations. Many times a new voice, a trained voice, can be just what we need to help us push onward and get the answers we need - both physically and mentally. Just the encouragement and new thinking can give us a giant push. My prayers are with you ..... please keep in touch.
abby

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@gman007

Hi Dany. I will echo the thoughts of others, but I am sorry you are experiencing so much difficulty. I know that if I do not have good blood sugar control, I get headaches, but certainly not everyday and I don't imagine that yours stays hugely abnormal for extended periods. I also have hypothyroidism, but have never associated it with headaches, but mine stays pretty much right in the middle of normal when ever blood work is done. I am attempting to taper off the benzo I have been taking for anxiety so we can try something with less potentially dangerous side effects and during the first 5-7 days that I make an additional reduction, I have all kinds of physical symptoms that are abnormal for me. It is impossible to know if there is any connection between your emotional difficulties and the physical, but I am learning that the brain not working as it should can cause all kinds of physical issues and vice versa. I would definitely ask the therapist for their thoughts about any correlation and I am glad you are making that effort to feel better. I start with a new one this week myself - kinda scary, but necessary. Please keep us up to speed with how you are and I will send prayers and as much positive force as possible.
Gary

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Hi Dany, I see that your messages are coming through, but they are prefaced with some extraneous text. I've alerted the tech team to the issue and hope to get it resolved asap.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @danybegood1

I am concerned for you. Chronic pain, along with nausea are difficult to deal with individually and when you put them together it is very hard. Are you able to eat? Good nutrition and some moderate exercise is important when you have Diabetes. The combination of food and physical activity can also lift the mood.

Keep in touch. I'm looking forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Teresa, I still can't read and reply.  I keep getting an error message.   
  I hope I'm able to reply this time.  I've been eating 2 meals a day for quite some time.  About 2-3 wks ago I had a case of diarrhea that lasted about a week and half, so I thankfully lost 7#.  I haven't weighed myself again yet bc I figured it would just come back on.  Ma belly is still as rotund as eva.  haha. Maybe my IBS-C is doing a 360 to IBS-D?  Who knows?  I hate, hate feeling this way.  Especially, with no diagnosis.  Our diet here is not the best.  We are all diabetic, and all take antidepressants, and Nexium or something like it.  It's not a drug we should be using long term. And nop one feels like cooking, or is able to cook.  It's hard to ask my son to come home from work and then cook dinner.  My daughter  also has hypothyroidism.  She has chronic back pain from a slip and fall when she was 18.  4 back surgeries have left her in chronic pain, and terribly depressed.  My son works 40 hrs a week and pretty much comes home, eats, tends to us a little, and goes to bed.  This is not how I thought things would be!   When you have your children you think, and pray,  things will be wonderful for them.  I worry constantly about everything, my kids, my dog, the planet, and, the Orange Circus Peanut we have for a president, and whether or not he is going to start WWIII.  Sorry if I've stepped on any toes.  I have heart palpitations, but heart is fine bc I wore an event recorder for 2 weeks.  Nothing remarkable there, but my stupid Dr. will still not offer me anything for anxiety.  I am so furious with her and so sad with my situation.  I practically beg her for help and I get nothing.  She said she is afraid I will forget how many pills I have taken and take too many, and she doesn't want to be responsible for me killing myself.  But, it doesn't seem to bother her that I have other drugs I could take to kill myself, Gabapentin, Plavix, 2 different blood pressure meds, hell, I could make a veritable cocktail and check out that way.  But, that's not me.  I want to live.  I want to live to see my kids find happiness.  So far, they've both been pretty miserable, and it's all my fault, so somehow, I have to help them, or at least stick around long enough to see them "help themselves".  I just don't want to be miserable the rest of my life.  So far I'm just not getting any help.  Sorry to be so long winded.  It's a long time til my next therapy appointment.  Thanks guys, Dany

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