I am not sure if this is a good place to talk about something like this, but I am desperate and will try anything!
I am 21 years old. I have been with my fiance for two years now, and he is beyond amazing, and completely supportive. He was also my "first", and at first things were fine but after about 6 months I started experiencing pain during sex- first just a weird burning afterwards and now severe pain immediately upon penetration. It is the worst pain I have experienced- and I have dealt with a lot. He is super patient with me and we try to stay intimate and I would not say it is completely devastating our relationship, but it is awful for me and is a near constant source of crushing depressing. Sometimes I just sit and cry for hours over it.
When it first started, I saw a gen prac and got tested for a UTI, which was negative. I have also had full STD screens and I had an abdominal CT at one point which was totally normal. When it came time for me to get a pap smear, I made a full-length appointment with a gynecologist who said everything looked normal. When she swabbed me, it felt like I was being cut with a knife which I told her but she said that I was just confused about terminology and I couldn't be in that much pain just from the touch of a swab. Needless to say, I was appalled by that treatment and I have been afraid to go back to a gynecologist since. She suggested some kind of physical therapy (pelvic floor?) but then said she didn't think anyone offered it in my area. Gee, thanks.
I am at a loss. I desperately need help with this but I am scared of going back to a doctor because I don't have much money and I have had a lifetime of terrible experiences with unsympathetic doctors who do not listen. I am not interested in "alternative health" cures, I just need to find someone who will take me seriously. There is such a taboo in our culture around talking about these problems, that I feel isolated and a little traumatized.
I don't know what to do, I have struggled with anxiety and depression all my life and when I think about this pain I feel so hopeless that I sometimes contemplate things I know I shouldn't.