1. < Depression & Anxiety

Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Posted by kdo0827 @kdo0827, Dec 27, 2018

Hi everyone! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I started taking Cymbalta and got off the other stuff. I was doing better but the past 2 months or so not so good. I’m struggling with feeling invisible and I’m feeling very unappreciated. I feel my kids only call when they want something or have a problem. They never ask how I’m feeling nor do they try and help. I had a procedure done yesterday and neither one bothered to check on me. Adding this to my depression isn’t good. Do any of you have these same feelings about your kids?What should I do?

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kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @becsbuddy "@kdo0827 , I can certainly understand why you’re so depressed. Waiting for answers you may or..." + (show)
@becsbuddy

@kdo0827 , I can certainly understand why you’re so depressed. Waiting for answers you may or may not want is so hard. And then your brain goes in all directions of the “what if’s....” You say you spoke to your daughters about their not calling you after your procedure. Did they have good reasons? Did you feel better just saying something? Think anything might change? It’s so upsetting when a child seems not to care, but maybe they’re as scared as you.
I hope things will get better for you, I really do. Take care of yourself.

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Thank you! I know that my daughters love me. It’s just that they get so focused on their lives they forget about who raised them and has done everything for them. I am however the first person they call when they’re upset. I did feel better saying something to one of them. She started in with how stressful her life was so I simply said “imagine how stressful it would be possibly facing stomach cancer?” I’ve already beaten breast cancer. I believe I made my point!

REPLY
1 reply
lioness | @lioness | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @kdo0827 "I may ask one of them if I find out it’s not good news. I weigh..." + (show)
@kdo0827

I may ask one of them if I find out it’s not good news. I weigh 215 pounds so I doubt I could do the exercise. I’ve also had both knees replaced. I cannot kneel on the floor at all.

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@kdo0827 I just started it today its not exercise its just slow movements and using deep breathing ,@hopeful33250 sent me a u tube site I was surprised how good I felt after doing them.

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1 reply
lioness | @lioness | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @kdo0827 "Thank you! I know that my daughters love me. It’s just that they get so focused..." + (show)
@kdo0827

Thank you! I know that my daughters love me. It’s just that they get so focused on their lives they forget about who raised them and has done everything for them. I am however the first person they call when they’re upset. I did feel better saying something to one of them. She started in with how stressful her life was so I simply said “imagine how stressful it would be possibly facing stomach cancer?” I’ve already beaten breast cancer. I believe I made my point!

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@kdo0827 Good for you hopefully that will give them something to think about and will change them Let us know we are here for you

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @kdo0827 "I may ask one of them if I find out it’s not good news. I weigh..." + (show)
@kdo0827

I may ask one of them if I find out it’s not good news. I weigh 215 pounds so I doubt I could do the exercise. I’ve also had both knees replaced. I cannot kneel on the floor at all.

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Hi @kdo0827
You might be able to do the Tai Chi. There is no floor work, no bending or getting into strange positions (like in yoga), it is just very gentle movement that is not at all stressful to the knees or the rest of the body. Here is a link to one of the Youtube videos that I sent to @lioness, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxcNBejxlzs just take a look at it and see what you think. I'm sure it will help relieve stress.

Here is a sitting Tai-Chi video you might also enjoy looking at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJP1pysakXQ.

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1 reply
kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @chris24 "I understand what you’re feeling as I’ve gone thru the same thing with my sons. I..." + (show)
@chris24

I understand what you’re feeling as I’ve gone thru the same thing with my sons. I suffer from anxiety and depression from chronic pain, heart disease and lung disease. I finally came out and told my youngest son that it hurts me that he never asks how I’m doing. He’s gotten a little better but I think it’s the generation. My son is 34 my oldest son is 46. He’s only slightly better at asking. I’m lucky to have a daughter that talks to me almost every day and visits weekly. Start by telling your kids how you feel. Also try to find something to do that makes you happy. And you don’t always have to jump to help. I know that’s hard but they learn better sometimes by having to do things themselves. Hang in there!

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Great advice! My husband and I have decided we’re done bailing them out all the time. This year will be our 36th Anniversary and it’s way past time that we started putting us first.

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @lioness "@hopeful33250@Parus I,ve done them all by Don Fiore like them It relaxes my nerves they just..." + (show)
@lioness

@hopeful33250@Parus I,ve done them all by Don Fiore like them It relaxes my nerves they just make you feel better Im going to use this after my exercise class or before what do you think?

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@lioness Use them whenever you feel the need😊 I'm glad that you found them helpful. I discovered Tai Chi after a Parkinson's diagnosis. It is the one exercise program that been scientifically studied and shown to be helpful to PD patients for range of motion and balance problems. I really think that all folks over 60 have many of the same problems and can be helped by Tai-Chi. If I'm having trouble sleeping or if I wake up in the middle of the night, I've used a video and have been able to get back to sleep. As you can see, I'm a believer.

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1 reply
kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @lioness "@kdo0827 MIght be I couldn't take Cymbalta it affected my mind I lost things and forgot..." + (show)
@lioness

@kdo0827 MIght be I couldn't take Cymbalta it affected my mind I lost things and forgot something you would just tell me . How long have you been on it?

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6-8 months. I really think it maybe the medication.

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2 replies
hodagwi | @hodagwi | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @kdo0827 "Thanks for checking on me. Things are pretty much the same with my daughters but I..." + (show)
@kdo0827

Thanks for checking on me. Things are pretty much the same with my daughters but I did explain to one how I felt about them not calling to see how my procedure went. There’s a possibility I may have colon or stomach cancer. I’m having a colonoscopy on Wednesday. I’m praying it’s nothing serious going on. I’m not one to call attention to myself so I haven’t shared this. My depression is out of control. I’m very fatigued, absolutely no desire to leave the house, I feel very empty inside. I’m taking Cymbalta but I’m wondering if it’s the problem. Hope you’re doing well, love the hug your pillow idea!!

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hugs dear woman. I beat prostate cancer in 2005. lower bowel issues also with resection. worse part was drinking the prep. haha. so bowels humor. can laugh and cry at same time. prayers for you. reach out any time. you/I/we are not alone.

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kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hi @kdo0827 You might be able to do the Tai Chi. There is no floor work,..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hi @kdo0827
You might be able to do the Tai Chi. There is no floor work, no bending or getting into strange positions (like in yoga), it is just very gentle movement that is not at all stressful to the knees or the rest of the body. Here is a link to one of the Youtube videos that I sent to @lioness, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxcNBejxlzs just take a look at it and see what you think. I'm sure it will help relieve stress.

Here is a sitting Tai-Chi video you might also enjoy looking at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJP1pysakXQ.

Jump to this post

Thank you! I’m going to give it a try. I’ll let you know when I try them.

REPLY
2 replies
lioness | @lioness | Jan 5, 2019
In reply to @hopeful33250 "@lioness Use them whenever you feel the need😊 I'm glad that you found them helpful. I..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

@lioness Use them whenever you feel the need😊 I'm glad that you found them helpful. I discovered Tai Chi after a Parkinson's diagnosis. It is the one exercise program that been scientifically studied and shown to be helpful to PD patients for range of motion and balance problems. I really think that all folks over 60 have many of the same problems and can be helped by Tai-Chi. If I'm having trouble sleeping or if I wake up in the middle of the night, I've used a video and have been able to get back to sleep. As you can see, I'm a believer.

Jump to this post

@hopeful33250 the way I felt after doing them I think I may become a believer also I'm going to do one before I go to bed tonight my problem is the bathroom wake up call ,have anything for that lol

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