Depression and grief

Apologies for asking this question, what keeps you going? Why do you wake up daily?
You know the root issue of what happened in your childhood, have you confronted it?

Do you have any pets, such as a dog. Golden retrievers are great at uplifting mood.
Do you enjoy any hobbies? Any favorite TV shows?

Being present is the hardest thing to do. Many of us are either thinking of the past or future. To be stable, medications help. I personally fought anxiety, depression and a lot of childhood trauma, which I will not mention. I live alone, rely on myself to recover from cancer and have minimal ties to siblings and family.

I’ve been there, just like many on this site. You say you’re seeing a psychiatrist, have you told them that the medication you are on isn’t working? There are many medications available to pick from - it took 4 different tries until we hit on the correct choice for me. My depression was very bad, so I have to take 3 different medications to get me to a good place. Also, have seen a therapist? Talking it out really does help. You could also see if your doctor can find a support group in your area. That person to person interaction, with the emotional support it provides is very helpful. Please keep talking to us, sharing how you are doing. Will be praying for you. God bless.

I'm 72 yrs old. Major depressive disorder & socialized anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember as an adult.
You said that you had doctors working with your mental health. *Is it a psychiatrist? You should be seeing one so they can tailor your needs. *Make sure you've had a complete blood count to check your thyroid & others. *I'm just about to start with a therapist to learn some coping skills. (You can do all this virtually. It's great. You never leave the house.). *Get dressed every day. Take care of yourself. *Take your RX the same time daily. (Get on a scheduled routine). * Get a pet. Even if it's some fish. They will love you no matter what and you can tell them anything and everything. (I have 2 ESA dogs and 5 fish plus a betta). Play challenging games on your phone, grow a few plants, watch movies, keep up with your mail, take your trash out & Eat.
I live alone, also. These things may sound simple but they are not.
If you are like me, stop thinking so much. Just do what you need to do and stop thinking about it. Get a tattoo 😁
Do you have friends or family? I'm guessing, like me, not much.
Don't quit.
It's time to press on.

Hi, @halenbon81. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I can hear your pain in your post. Deep, deep depression can be debilitating. I am glad you are in the care of doctors.

If you are concerned about getting better, have you considered different care? This might mean looking at a second or third opinion from different doctors. You mentioned you are grieving. What happened that caused you this grief?

malebreastcancer47 thank you for your words it means so much. I don't know why I keep waking up because I don't want to anymore. I do have have a rescue pet and it's he is great for me. I raise a garden and give a lot to others. I have so many friends that care a lot for me I have doctors and a wonderful counselor and yet it's very hard to find peace and I don't know why. I feel selfish that Iam complaining because you have been thru cancer scare Iam so sorry. I went through so much as a child but will not go there. I've just started a new therapy called MDR to help with trauma. Keep me in your prayers and I will do also for you

@lisalucier I saw and seen things that anyone should see much less a child at 9. My family new this and never addressed it with me so it's like it happened yesterday every day. I started drinking at 12or 13 which was a huge relief and escape which I wouldn't trade those days for anything. I've started a new treatment called MDR to address the trauma. I never thought about a second opinion about my mental health but maybe I should. I really like my psychiatrist. I will be honest it's hard to push on anymore but I have a great support team. Thank you so very much for talking to me

@halenbon81
With the cancer stuff, I had a lot of brain fog, which hurt me at work. A therapist suggested a therapy called Neurofeedback. I’ve had 31 of 40 sessions so far.
The therapy is PT for my sub-conscious, it keep my thoughts from swinging between past and future. Like someone put a stiff rubber band in my brain. When my mind wander, I get pulled back to center in less than 1 min. Brain fog, PTSD and anxiety are gone. I have ADHD, however I talk less and no longer hyper. Its been surreal but the more I do the therapies, the more permanent it is. No medications other than diabetes and cancer stuff. And no longer see a therapist, nothing to talk about as I am present. 🙂

@yesibeleive "Get a tattoo" for the win. I'm ink-free myself, but late in her cancer struggle my sister got tatted. It was a statement of resilience. Bodily autonomy regardless of what the tumors told her to the contrary.

Speaking of ink-free, have a silly song.
https://soundcloud.com/thebstars/ink-free-baby-of-mine
"No hearts, no birds, no four letter dirty words."

Your smile made me smile, so hopefully this doofy little ditty will return the favor.

62 & 1/2, and bipolar 2.

A therapist is a must. I've been fortunate with a medication that works fairly well, but the weekly sessions are far more beneficial. They've been slowly helping me come to terms with some difficult family stuff. And also the grief from losing all of my immediate birth family members in a very short span of time. And coming to terms with something my mother knew about me but never told me and that I instead learned through my sister who she did tell thinking it would be kept secret.

A pet. I've kept dogs in the house for decades. They need to get outside and move every day. Which gets me outside and moving every day. Depending on your circumstances a different animal might be a better option. But it's a life that depends on you, and you will come to view that critter as a life you depend on.

A guy I recently met has had a lot of struggles. He put bird feeders outside of his house and his chair is now parked at his window, not in front of his television. He's the same age as us and is suddenly discovering the all of life that surrounds him.

Do you have a hobby? Finding a group activity where you can just enjoy doing something other than thinking about the mental pain while distracted by others is hugely therapeutic. I'm fortunate to have been active all my life, so my thing is mountain biking. Dumb fun, and the guys I ride with weekly are pals. I've never told any of them about the hospitalization or the medical maintenance or how deep in the hole I've gone. I just get out and ride and laugh. If there's something you love doing, find others who share that love and spend time with them. Exercise, art, reading, geeky sci-fi fandom, whatever it is. Someone else out there has the same passion. Dig around on Google and hopefully you can find a local group.

A few tips from a chronic depressive who nearly took his life and bounced back.

@depressedbutnotdead
Very cute song.
Thought of "mini pearl" while listening. Remember her? 😂
Well, at least for me, no four letter words.
TY
Be safe✌️