My first GA attendance didn’t result in immediate positive outcome, however, with family and community support to permanently root out this lethal addiction I feel optimistic I’d become change-of-heart someday..
Clinical therapy past few times had some(degree of)effect to stop at least for some periods but it just came right back to me the temptation so powerful to resist..
My parents accompanied me to Gamblers Anonymous short distance from where we live, patients’ families had separate group discussion from our group.
I felt a little nervous to get to know with others whom I was in the same shoes with, even more so when I had to introduce myself briefly- recommended but not mandatory- but once I get to join in duscussion, came to realize they were all really nice people except that this addictive behavior somehow ruined their normal lives, personality and self esteem..
One common thing I’d share with other patients is that out problem deeply affected not just ourselves but our families and the whole community and society at large.. People with this addiction tend to minimize its harmful influence to others around them myself included.. Divorce, layoff, lack of motivation, interest in daily living..there were many causes that get people start gambling, but whatsoever the causes once people get addicted to it, it’s very difficult to stem from this habit.
As I counseled with a therapist, and many other gambling addiction treatment counselors that simply having pleasant times in Vegas watching shows, dine in superb hotel buffet, or just looking around souvenir shops and awestruck at Bellagio fountain show, Treasure Isl volcanoe, bright illumumination and fancy decorations can hardly be differentiated with addictively and compulsively kept seated gaming tables inside casino, saying the former isn’t so bad even if one is addicted to it, they unanimously answered me that compulsive gamblers are commonly and very easily get distracted by such things that also tempt and encourage them to keep continuing their habits.. That explaination also made some sense to me but not entirely fit in my experience. This peculiar experience I had in Vegas maybe connected with deeper inner desire of mine to win some big jackpot, but this feeling or desire wanting to be marbled by mysterious feeling and fantasy like illumination along Vegas Strip is more than ‘monetary’ to me.. more than ‘fun of gambling’..
Maybe there’s is a possibility as the therapist and counselors explained, somwhere deep inside me I thirst for gambling more than anything, that I’m not being too honest to myself, however, If it were not such experience as I had In Vegas or mysterious exit I feel like to escape to from this reality I’m not so happy with now, I wouldn’t be so crazy wanting to go back to Vegas, nor I’d waste rest of my lives in gamble looking for an ultimate happiness; i know ‘materialism’ is not the answer for my happiness!