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sky_emotions
@sky_emotions

Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 06, 2018

Coming back home

Posted by @sky_emotions, Thu, Sep 6 11:56am

Hi everyone,
I am 29 and about to finish an MSc Programme as I am currently wrapping up my thesis
I came back home “Saudi Arabia” after living on my own in UK for two and half years
I changed so much while being away and my family is not accepting it at all
I understand it coming from my parents as they are both around sixty but even my younger sister who is 24 is not accepting it
I being treated as a stranger from my mom and my sister and as a brainwashed person by the west from all family members
Me and my sister had ups and downs like any other siblings but my sister is taking things way too seriously and my mother is backing her up
I just went to her room and asked for snacks and she gave me some and it tasted funny and when I said that to her she yelled at me saying that I am being obsessive and she was angry and kicked me out of her room
I didn’t speak to her so much before this incident and nothing big happened lately

I am really having difficult time accepting what’s going on as I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and I am doubting that I have post traumatic disorder because I had a terrible childhood and teen years plus I am stressing about my thesis
I don’t know what to do
I tried to explain to my parents how difficult things are as I am still trying to adjust the life here and they are making it difficult and they got upset

REPLY

You said you may have PTSD from terrible teen yrs, was that because of treatment by your family? Are they any different now than before? Unfortunately people can be very judgmental and there’s not much we can do to change then. Do you have a good psychiatrist or Psychopharmacologist to work with for your anxiety?
Why did you move home? Ultimately you can only control you and your reactions to things. We do not control others. Our perceptions of what family life should be etc. is often far from the truth. Each person has the gift to choose how they react to someone, something, to emotions, even our own, no matter what. If you choose not to participate in highly emotional exchanges with your family there won’t be any because it takes two to argue or disagree. Do what you feel is best for you, quietly, calmly.
Without knowing much more detail about your situation it is very difficult to know what would work and what won’t.
I hope you work things out and succeed!

Wow, bless you-you’ve got so much going on! I was wondering do you have to live with your family? It doesn’t seem to be very healthy for you. It’s so disheartening when we have this idea of how a family is supposed to be and it just doesn’t turn out that way. We can’t change others just ourselves. For me that change meant learning to accept things as they are. Do you have a therapist? I feel you’d greatly benefit from one. Of course finding one that fits isn’t easy either.

@sky_emotions Being gone for a period of time from family, you changed. And you may now see things differently. They are expecting you to be the same person you were when you lived there before, but that cannot happen. You have been independent, and witnessed how other cultures live. You are just as anxious as your family. Do they expect you to live in the house now, or can you move in with friends/relatives? That may give you a buffer to transition back. See if there is some professional assistance for you that will help you reacclimate yourself to your childhood home. Good luck and let us know how we can help you?
Ginger

@carima

You said you may have PTSD from terrible teen yrs, was that because of treatment by your family? Are they any different now than before? Unfortunately people can be very judgmental and there’s not much we can do to change then. Do you have a good psychiatrist or Psychopharmacologist to work with for your anxiety?
Why did you move home? Ultimately you can only control you and your reactions to things. We do not control others. Our perceptions of what family life should be etc. is often far from the truth. Each person has the gift to choose how they react to someone, something, to emotions, even our own, no matter what. If you choose not to participate in highly emotional exchanges with your family there won’t be any because it takes two to argue or disagree. Do what you feel is best for you, quietly, calmly.
Without knowing much more detail about your situation it is very difficult to know what would work and what won’t.
I hope you work things out and succeed!

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It’s partially because of my parents
I did have a good relationship with them between 19 and early twenties but the relationship turned bad again after my father retired
I had to move back home because my visa expired and I couldn’t renew it because my financial situation does not help
Thanks for your kind words

@kdo0827

Wow, bless you-you’ve got so much going on! I was wondering do you have to live with your family? It doesn’t seem to be very healthy for you. It’s so disheartening when we have this idea of how a family is supposed to be and it just doesn’t turn out that way. We can’t change others just ourselves. For me that change meant learning to accept things as they are. Do you have a therapist? I feel you’d greatly benefit from one. Of course finding one that fits isn’t easy either.

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I am intending to finish my thesis as soon as possible and then hunt for a job that provides accommodation

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