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child abuse,physical. mental, and molestation by family member

Posted by @humminbird1963 in Mental Health, Sep 27, 2012

I have been in and out of therapy for 12 yrs. I was beaten by my mother, vebally abused, and the one other person who I thought would protect me, used me for their own sick selfish pleasures. I was 9 and was told I was helping w/ a medical problem, until it went further, bribing me with presents if I did sexual acts.. I did and thought it was wrong yet felt obligated because I thought I was helping. Until I found out my sister was going through the same horrific thing. As I questioned why she got a new bike and a horse she told me the very vivid simular story I was experiencing. We finally got the courage to tell our mom, who called us every name in the book. Later in my adult life and both parents had died, it all crashed in on me. Now I am a survivor not a victim. I also have PTSD due to the traumas. Certain smells, an old car or someone who reminds me of the past sends me into a fight or flight.. My parents are gone but I'm still here. To add insult to injury my uncle, and grand mother knew about it, and no one did anything. I suppose being from a small town they didn't want that dirty laundry exposed. I deal with it the best I can, and only wish I had the courage to confront him. Deep down I knew he would deny it.... and I was so enraged I worried what I might do to him. The depression,GAD, & PTSD have at times become debilitating to the point I just want to die..

Tags: mental health


Posted by @janeehami, Sep 29, 2012

How sad, so sorry ... can't imagine the pain. Abuse like that wounds the soul, your very core. It can ruin your life and health, but you can choose not to let it. You can be bitter or better. You have the key to unlock the beautiful person you were created to be, and discover the joy of becoming the real you. Would be happy to communicate more...


Posted by @humminbird1963, Sep 30, 2012

Thanks, I think I have come to some resolution of all of it, but there are some days better then others. It is a daily struggle and I just tell myself now they can't hurt me anymore.


Posted by @janeehami, Oct 2, 2012

Good for you. I hope you find the peace and release of forgiveness. It doesn't set them free, but it sets you free. Joyce Meyer's book, "Beauty for Ashes" is a great book, her story of abuse, and resolution, and healing. God bless you on your journey. May you experience His amazing, unconditional love. He is worth pursuing.


Posted by @newwick, Sep 29, 2012

new to forum. evidently can only reply1 box full. need to say more. Also abused and figured out I grew up terrified of people, some more others less. Believe we have to find our fears and confront them. View my profile, more help there. IMO getting rid of fears is key to cure. We get no bonuses 4 that, but after where we've been that looks heavenly. U'r post sounds full of fear. No fear means good life.


Posted by @lain59, Sep 30, 2012

It passes. I truly suffered. I had unbelievable torture and abuse. It passes. One day, you will see. It takes hard work dealing with this 'invisible' illness. Back and forth like an onion skin but your mind is wonderful and you will heal.


Posted by @humminbird1963, Sep 30, 2012

Thanks to all who wrote supportive and encouraging words, It really helps...


Posted by @bettyann, Oct 3, 2012

Hi Hummingbird,
I am so very sorry about what you went through. First of all, you must start wanting more than anything else in the world to LET GO of it...not just 'get over it'... I am not speaking from criticism but from my own life experiences and those of friends and others than I know. We all have SO MUCH more Inner Power than we realize and utilize...believe me.
Please read "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. SHE was one that went through a lot of what you went she DOES understand. It doesn't lay a lot of 'fluff' or any kind of religion on you...just plain TALK that you can relate to and definately about laws that simply govern life and the universe. YOU CAN DO IT... Please. Its a very popular book, you might be able to check it out at a library.
Best wishes with love to you.


Posted by @anon56837187, Oct 12, 2012

I am sorry to have learned about what you had gone through. You cannot forget and you don't have to. Try to love yourself more. Tell yourself that you are worthy; you are precious; look into the mirror every morning and say, "I love myself." Do wonderful things to yourself. Don't trash your life. Live to the fullest. Tell your uncle and other family that they are wrong. Stay away from the negative people and those who hurt you. Surround yourself with people who love you. Be well!

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