child abuse,physical. mental, and molestation by family member
I have been in and out of therapy for 12 yrs. I was beaten by my mother, vebally abused, and the one other person who I thought would protect me, used me for their own sick selfish pleasures. I was 9 and was told I was helping w/ a medical problem, until it went further, bribing me with presents if I did sexual acts.. I did and thought it was wrong yet felt obligated because I thought I was helping. Until I found out my sister was going through the same horrific thing. As I questioned why she got a new bike and a horse she told me the very vivid simular story I was experiencing. We finally got the courage to tell our mom, who called us every name in the book. Later in my adult life and both parents had died, it all crashed in on me. Now I am a survivor not a victim. I also have PTSD due to the traumas. Certain smells, an old car or someone who reminds me of the past sends me into a fight or flight.. My parents are gone but I’m still here. To add insult to injury my uncle, and grand mother knew about it, and no one did anything. I suppose being from a small town they didn’t want that dirty laundry exposed. I deal with it the best I can, and only wish I had the courage to confront him. Deep down I knew he would deny it…. and I was so enraged I worried what I might do to him. The depression,GAD, & PTSD have at times become debilitating to the point I just want to die..