Mom has stomach cancer in Cameroon: Young caregiver

Posted by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor @hopeful33250, Apr 19, 2020

In case you are not aware, Mayo Clinic offers online Cancer Education Classes. Here are some of the topics covered:

Survivorship: Moving Forward After Cancer
Reducing Fatigue
Stress Management
Nutrition & Cancer
Physical Activity & Cancer

These classes include a video featuring the educators at Mayo as well as links to the various classes. Here is the link to this valuable information

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/cancer-education-center/newsfeed-post/cancer-education-classes/

@lioness

@fiesty76 I was just thinking of doing same thing you beat me to it glad you did hope it helps her

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@lioness hahaha thoughtful

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Life is not really easy the way we see, but in everything we give thanks to the creator of heaven and Earth .yesterday the seogeon request us for a scanning we went and did but after the scanning till now they don't want us to know the stage of the cancer when we ask for the results he just told his assistant to inform us on how they will pass feeding tube into her stomach which she will be feeding on then after three weeks she will undergo chemotherapy for three months later they will see if they can carry operation on her, at this stage I sincerely need help please mentor, moderator and people of good will I need you more than ever can some one explain to me why the doctor has decided not to show us the results of the CT scan what can really be his motive is it that he want us to spend more money on the hospital without us yet knowing the stade of our mother,when I confronted him earlier to again he told me that the cancer cell has increased in size that it has form a mass inside the lining of her stomach that is why when she takes food she passed it out my problem is why is the seogeon not giving us the results for us to at least interpret

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This was the previous test results and the scan results that we carry out before we couldn't do anything because of financial constraints we had to stop every process of the hospital before coming back after raising some little fund. we were told to make a new scan to know the present state of the cancer but before then we were given our mother ginger and honey to slow down the growth of the cancer cell what I want to know is can some one tell me the stage of my mother previous results and can the be possibilities that it can digenerate to more advanced stage

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Dear @arreyprotus I can tell that you are very upset with the surgeon. I’m not sure why he won’t tell you anything, it can be very frustrating. I do know that usually at this stage of treatment, the doctor doesn’t always know enough to tell you. They need to do scans and blood tests and X-rays in order to put a whole picture together so they can made decisions. They also need to know if the cancer has spread beyond the main tumor. It, also, makes a difference in what the do and how they do it.
They are going to do chemotherapy before surgery to make the tumor smaller. Smaller is easier on your mom.
Cancer treatment is very complicated. Many times doctors need to consult with other doctors who are not even at the hospital. It can be common for them to say nothing until everything is set in place. And, for you, this waiting is very hard. The best thing you can do now is to trust your doctors. Money plays no part. It’s just a difficult, frustrating time. Remember, we’re here for you

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Ok mom @becsbuddy thanks for your concern truly I am upset now ,the problem is that I have no financial helper elsewhere just me and my siblings we are trying to see if we could make things right for our mother.i even try to ask him if he can give me some financial assessment so that I will know where to start but he just say let me wait next week and spending more time in the hospital without any way forward it is so stressful hospital bills are just keep going up which I have not even begin with the real treatment and now I do not know why he decide not to go intravenous process of feeding her with perikabiven again and now he says feeding tube through her stomach is what they will do as of now .without having any knowledge in medical domain I can't tell which one is really reliable

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@arreyprotus

Ok mom @becsbuddy thanks for your concern truly I am upset now ,the problem is that I have no financial helper elsewhere just me and my siblings we are trying to see if we could make things right for our mother.i even try to ask him if he can give me some financial assessment so that I will know where to start but he just say let me wait next week and spending more time in the hospital without any way forward it is so stressful hospital bills are just keep going up which I have not even begin with the real treatment and now I do not know why he decide not to go intravenous process of feeding her with perikabiven again and now he says feeding tube through her stomach is what they will do as of now .without having any knowledge in medical domain I can't tell which one is really reliable

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@arreyprotus Please note that I removed your mom's test results. This is a public forum and we recommend that people remove identifying information, such as patient name, identification number, hospital and doctor name and ID before sharing publicly. I want to protect the privacy of you and your mom.

Before deleting, I noticed the date of your mom's last tests were the end of February. It is not uncommon to do testing again as three and half months have passed. The doctors can compare the results to see if the cancer has progressed and to determine if it is fast growing etc. @becsbuddy is right that the doctors may not know the stage yet until they gather all the information.

Here is some information from the National Cancer Institute that explains the stages of stomach cancer, the testing required and the types of treatment typically used in the US for each stage.
– Stomach cancer NCI https://www.cancer.gov/types/stomach/patient/stomach-treatment-pdq

I think the most important thing you can do to help your mom is to make sure the doctor understands that you want to work with him. It is a good thing that you are asking questions. Keep asking them, but make it clear that you are asking in order to understand and to help your mom. It is not to challenge him. Some doctors don't like patients or family members asking questions, but it is your right to know.

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Dear @arreyprotus, I am so sorry you, your siblings and mom are going through such an upsetting time. Both @becsbuddy and @colleenyoung are well informed and have shared really useful reliable information with you.

As a caregiver but not one with medical training or background, how well I know the frustration of asking and not getting answers or explanations when asking the medical pros questions. Colleen's point is so important when questioning docs to better understand procedures, stages, prognosis and what future treatment will entail both medically and financially for the patient and family.

It has been my experience that many docs tend to be pretty thin skinned, overly sensitive and quick to go on the defensive if questioned so I've had to learn the hard way to make it very clear when questioning that they understand I just need to know and understand what is happening or is planned.

Patients and caregivers do have the right to know but as Colleen suggested, often the docs do have to confer with others or wait for test results to know how best to proceed. We want instant answers but cancer is such a complex illness that docs want to be sure they have as much information as possible before deciding on the next actions to take. They could do more to reassure us that they too are waiting for more results and that as soon as they know, they will share in more detail the next plan.

You sound like a young man strong in your faith and that strength will serve you well going forward.

Often docs have little to do with the financial end of hospital, treatment costs. Maybe if you talked to someone in the billing or financial dept. of the hospital, they could direct you to someone to help financially? Also have you asked your mom's nurses if there is a social worker or chaplain at the hospital who might provide more counsel and financial guidance?

You and yours are in our thoughts and prayers. You and your siblings are very young to be bearing this strain for your mother's care and well being. Do you have relatives nearby or a religious group who can lend physical or emotional support? I hope you'll keep reaching out here because you are among friends who care.

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Thanks Mom @colleenyoung for protecting my privercy just that I am desperately in need of help that is why I have to do what I did to have answers to my problems

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@fiesty76

Dear @arreyprotus, I am so sorry you, your siblings and mom are going through such an upsetting time. Both @becsbuddy and @colleenyoung are well informed and have shared really useful reliable information with you.

As a caregiver but not one with medical training or background, how well I know the frustration of asking and not getting answers or explanations when asking the medical pros questions. Colleen's point is so important when questioning docs to better understand procedures, stages, prognosis and what future treatment will entail both medically and financially for the patient and family.

It has been my experience that many docs tend to be pretty thin skinned, overly sensitive and quick to go on the defensive if questioned so I've had to learn the hard way to make it very clear when questioning that they understand I just need to know and understand what is happening or is planned.

Patients and caregivers do have the right to know but as Colleen suggested, often the docs do have to confer with others or wait for test results to know how best to proceed. We want instant answers but cancer is such a complex illness that docs want to be sure they have as much information as possible before deciding on the next actions to take. They could do more to reassure us that they too are waiting for more results and that as soon as they know, they will share in more detail the next plan.

You sound like a young man strong in your faith and that strength will serve you well going forward.

Often docs have little to do with the financial end of hospital, treatment costs. Maybe if you talked to someone in the billing or financial dept. of the hospital, they could direct you to someone to help financially? Also have you asked your mom's nurses if there is a social worker or chaplain at the hospital who might provide more counsel and financial guidance?

You and yours are in our thoughts and prayers. You and your siblings are very young to be bearing this strain for your mother's care and well being. Do you have relatives nearby or a religious group who can lend physical or emotional support? I hope you'll keep reaching out here because you are among friends who care.

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Thanks@fiesty76 am so grateful for your good thoughts over my situation it really shows that you share my problem,with that God bless you

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@colleenyoung

@arreyprotus Please note that I removed your mom's test results. This is a public forum and we recommend that people remove identifying information, such as patient name, identification number, hospital and doctor name and ID before sharing publicly. I want to protect the privacy of you and your mom.

Before deleting, I noticed the date of your mom's last tests were the end of February. It is not uncommon to do testing again as three and half months have passed. The doctors can compare the results to see if the cancer has progressed and to determine if it is fast growing etc. @becsbuddy is right that the doctors may not know the stage yet until they gather all the information.

Here is some information from the National Cancer Institute that explains the stages of stomach cancer, the testing required and the types of treatment typically used in the US for each stage.
– Stomach cancer NCI https://www.cancer.gov/types/stomach/patient/stomach-treatment-pdq

I think the most important thing you can do to help your mom is to make sure the doctor understands that you want to work with him. It is a good thing that you are asking questions. Keep asking them, but make it clear that you are asking in order to understand and to help your mom. It is not to challenge him. Some doctors don't like patients or family members asking questions, but it is your right to know.

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Thanks Mom @colleenyoung for your thoughts towards my situation

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@becsbuddy

Dear @arreyprotus I can tell that you are very upset with the surgeon. I’m not sure why he won’t tell you anything, it can be very frustrating. I do know that usually at this stage of treatment, the doctor doesn’t always know enough to tell you. They need to do scans and blood tests and X-rays in order to put a whole picture together so they can made decisions. They also need to know if the cancer has spread beyond the main tumor. It, also, makes a difference in what the do and how they do it.
They are going to do chemotherapy before surgery to make the tumor smaller. Smaller is easier on your mom.
Cancer treatment is very complicated. Many times doctors need to consult with other doctors who are not even at the hospital. It can be common for them to say nothing until everything is set in place. And, for you, this waiting is very hard. The best thing you can do now is to trust your doctors. Money plays no part. It’s just a difficult, frustrating time. Remember, we’re here for you

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Mom @becsbuddy is it possible to carry out surgery for feeding tube without any complications for the patient? and what are the chances that infection will be free from the patient cos the doctor told me that my mother will under go surgery to connect feeding tube inside her then later chemotherapy will follow after the three cycle another surgery will still occurred then follow by another chemotherapy . please how safe is this process of treatment I just want to know

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@arreyprotus

Mom @becsbuddy is it possible to carry out surgery for feeding tube without any complications for the patient? and what are the chances that infection will be free from the patient cos the doctor told me that my mother will under go surgery to connect feeding tube inside her then later chemotherapy will follow after the three cycle another surgery will still occurred then follow by another chemotherapy . please how safe is this process of treatment I just want to know

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Good morning @arreyprotus . The surgery to inset the feeding tube is pretty simple. Just a small incision to put the tube in and anchor it in place. The nurses will then work to keep the skin around the tube clean and dry. They may even teach you how to do it. There is very minimal chance of infection. Then the doctors will plan for the chemotherapy and surgery to remove the tumor, and follow up chemotherapy. This all sounds like a lot but this is how we would treat the cancer here.
Does your mom understand all the different things that will happen? Both of you now need to get some rest. Will you do that?

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