Can perimenopause really be this awful?

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low. I wish I could offer helpful tips, but I didn’t have any menopause symptoms. I still work full time and have no plans to stop. I did receive talk therapy for about a year that helped tremendously with my anxiety. I didn’t take meds but my therapist said it’s a matter of finding the right med or combination of meds. I highly recommend talk therapy.

Today my therapy is going to the gym, working out, attending yoga classes, etc. I try to make time to socialize with family and friends every week. I understand that it’s difficult to do those things if you are depressed. I hope you’ll get some more responses that might be helpful.

I’m very sorry for your pain and suffering, I can understand how awful you are feeling and also alone, when you’re not feeling well it’s so understandable that you think no one else knows what you’re going through. Truthfully, you are not alone because your symptoms are so familiar to many people here and I have read about it often, even experienced similar symptoms. Perimenopause is the beginning of a new phase in a woman’s life and for some people like you it’s a brutal cycle, it all comes down to harmones and when we begin to lose them gradually it can make life difficult, I’m curious if you had a rough time with your menstrual cycle, sometimes the pattern starts very young for females, even the use of HRT it doesn’t necessarily help and can often cause you more side effects. I would also guess that you started having your period quite early in life? Honestly, there is hope for you and help too, sometimes finding what works best for you is a big challenge and you’ve already been through this before, try not to feel defeated and get a gynaecologist that can help you out with various treatments, it may take some patience but tough times will pass and eventually you’ll feel like yourself again, I have been through this too when I was younger and it wasn’t easy, we didn’t have all the good medicine and treatments that we have now, stay strong and feel better soon.

Thank you so much. That was a lovely reply and so very much appreciated. I had very similar symptoms in puberty but back then I didn't know what was happening. You sound very kind and I hope life is being nice to you. And you're right, at least people talk about it now and there are treatments, even if it's sometimes hard to find the right one. I'll keep trying. Thank you again.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Your tips are very thoughtful and kind and that helps a lot even if you haven't had exactly the same experience. And your advice is good! It is very easy to make your world small when you don't feel good and I must remember that. I'm very glad you've found what works for you. I mustn't lose sight of the fact that things will hopefully be different in the slightly longer term. Thank you again.

I’m so proud of you for reaching out and posting to this menopause support group. I have been helped by this group.

I’m 62 years old. I personally have had severe menopause symptoms from 2019-2024. I thought they would eventually go away, but when they didn’t, a knowledgeable OBGYN put me on a micro dose of estrogen and progesterone. That definitely took the edge off most of my symptoms, but within the past year other symptoms of estrogen loss have cropped up.

When we are at our lowest point mentally and physically, it can be helpful to have a medical advocate come along side to help us figure out the complicated process of finding solutions.

Do you have someone who can be in your corner and be a cheerleader to keep researching and find answers with you?

For 5 years I felt stuck mentally and physically. I wish I would have had this support group AND someone to help me make sense of all my medical issues.

Now I see my menopause symptoms were complicated by diabetes (diagnosed 2004) + my polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS diagnosed 1981) + morbid obesity (top weight of 302 lbs in 2021). Everything is connected. It may take a trusted medical advocate to unravel it all.

I pray you find the help you need from someone knowledgeable of your medical history who will cheer you on to a better quality of life. 🙏❤️

@tgn Menopause is different for each person. Were your hormone levels checked before HRT? I had to argue to have estrogen due to family history of breast cancer. Find an ob/gyn that specializes in menopause.

Thank you so much for replying and for sharing. You sound as if you had a long road to get answers and I'm very glad you did in her end. It's a very helpful reminder not to give up trying to feel better - thank you for that, I will do the same. With very best wishes.

Thank you very much for the advice, I'll look into that. My levels have never been checked, the doctors seemed happy enough just to prescribe HRT. Many thanks.

Hi, I can totally relate to how you are feeling and is how I came upon your post. Thank you for posting so I don't feel so alone. 🙂

I had a partial hysterectomy at the end of 2021 bc I had/have endometriosis and I feel like things have just been spiraling out of my control since then. It started with hot flashes but I feel like I just cannot do/tolerate the things I used to do and tolerate.

I'm so sensitive to sound now. Oh, the world has become so loud. I am in the process of ordering really good noise cancelling ear buds. Another top issue I'm struggling with is - I can't remember $%*#. I used to remember everything - some might say I remembered too much but now most thoughts just fly out of my mind... Oh and did I mention my headaches/migraines? There's more but I'll stop there for now.

Note to Self: Don't panic. Everything is going to be ok.

I am on HRT but still working on doses. I was taken off HRT abruptly when a scan showed endo returning. That created really terrible anxiety and depression for me and I was finally able to get back on about 2 years ago and it's still been a very unclear journey.

I wish someone had a magic pill bc I feel like I've been working so hard to feel better and I don't feel like I can share freely how difficult my life has become. I practice meditation, yoga, I journal, go to therapy... I've also tried a couple anti depressants with some success... For me, the political environment of our country has not helped with my friendship situation either and that's left me feeling even more isolated.

Remember Calgon, take me away?

Anyway, I hope my post makes you feel less alone. It definitely feels like trial and error... I am thinking of trying a stimulant in a very very low dose to see if that helps me at all.

*Two things that seem to help me are grounding in nature and using a bilateral stimulation device . I like to be amongst trees, take off my shoes and journal and the device I use is from Touchpoints.

Thanks so much for replying. You sound as if you've had an incredibly tough time, far more than I've had to deal with. I know exactly how you feel when you try everything and nothing seems to help and the things you used to do without thinking become big challenges. I even tried hypnosis but still feel as if all my resilience ran off a few years ago and left me behind! And yes remembering things can be a bit exhausting too. I've decided this week to adopt a new approach with my moods - if I don't like one then another will be along shortly. Your post definitely made me feel less alone so thank you so much. Let's keep trying to find the magic pill. You sound as if you're doing all the right things. Wishing you lots of luck.