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Borderline personality disorder

Posted by Anonymous-2723a7a4 in Mental Health, Jul 13, 2011

Hello, my ex wife has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as well as bi-polar disorder. At this point and time she is not in treatment but is taking an anxiety medication. She has fallen on hard times due to poor decision making and has asked to move back in with me and our two children. It is hard to see her going through this.t I am very concerned and would like to help her if I can, however my first priority is the well being and safety of my children (and myself). She at times has displayed a violent temper and the ability to inflict injury to herself. I am seeking advice from anyone who has had experience with something similar. Thank you.

Tags: mental health

Posted by Anonymous-a543b763, Jul 18, 2011

I understand what you're going thru as I have a daughter with the borderline personality as well as bipolar. My daughter no longer lives with me as she is now 32 and moved a long distance away. She gets lots of counseling and the right meds are very important. She got disability in Arizona. She was diagnosed about 5 years ago and I completely understand what you're going's tough I know. I pray for you all and hope all will work out.

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Posted by Anonymous-2723a7a4, Jul 18, 2011

Thanks for your prayers. Very concerned and would like to help her if I can but my first priority is our kids. I'm not sure that having her here with us is a good idea.

Posted by Anonymous-a543b763, Jul 18, 2011

Though my daughter never really got mean I do understand. Them facing the fact they have a disorder is the first step...and then willing to do whatever they have to do to live a normal life as possible. Bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain and the borderline personality stems from a possible traumatic experience in childhood. My daughter was sexually abused as a young girl. Traumatic experiences in life can and does affect one even years later.

Posted by Anonymous-768f2c74, Jul 28, 2011

I also was sexually abused as a young girl. I also have an alter ego that I know of. Although have not been medically diagnosed as of yet. It took me a long time to really understand what was going on. I would catch myself doing things and not really knowing why or sometimes how it even started. I did know that I was always apologizing and making excuses for actions i did but not really remember actually doing them. I understand what you all are going through. Being the one with the problem but also seeing what and how it can affect others who care about you.


Posted by @ditim, Jul 28, 2011

Therapy helps. When my daughter got her diagnosis of borderline personality and bipolar little did I realize as her Mother how traumatic it is for her loved ones as well. It was a struggle for her...and for me. Now after being diagnosed with conversion disorder I realized that I have a disorder as well...and now we have to be there for each other. Life isn't always I well know. There was abuse in both of our lives...and divorce. And...I've had a lot of trauma in mine. long as you keep your faith in the Lord...he has a can survive. God bless all!!!

Posted by Anonymous-768f2c74, Jul 29, 2011

Therapy will come soon. A year ago, my "friend" drank and drove my car. Rolled it, ended up in ICU for 4 days with a broken neck as well as other injuries. And a DUI on my record. I'm having diffiulties with the injuries. But, that isn't the bad part. My husband was out of town for business when he got the call about the accident. Not knowing if I was going to live or not. To this day, I have no idea what that really did to him or the rest of my family. I can't stress how sorry I am for putting them through that.


Posted by @anneinside, Apr 1, 2012

Protect your children. Encourage your wife to get help but you shouldn't take her in.

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Posted by Anonymous-ffa4b3b6, Jul 18, 2011

I have often wondered if my sister is Bi polar. What are the symptoms? My sister seems to have alot of mood swings and gets very angry when her children do not do as told. However, my father was the same way growing up and I was never sure if it was just his personality or if he had bi- polar also. She makes up stories that never happened and makes everyone feel sorry for her while believing these stories. And when she drinks alcohol she goes in rages out of no where. Does this sound like bi polar to u?


Posted by @anneinside, Apr 1, 2012

You didn't list symptoms of bipolar but I might look into borderline personality disorder. Maybe just bad behavior!


Posted by @ditim, Jul 28, 2011

Just to say I pray things are better for you and family. I understand how tough things can's not easy.


Posted by @zaphi, Jul 29, 2011

I am the adult child of a mother with BPD. I am/was the scapegoat for all of her negative stuff. The best thing I ever did for my own mental health was to move an hour away. I have also cut off all contact since she refuses to accept her dx and seek treatment. If I were in your shoes i would be very wary of helping her. I would NOT move in. You are setting yourself up for trouble. Not saying your ex -wife is a bad person, but BPD is such an INCREDIBLY harmful condition to impressionable children. You seem to have a wonderful heart. Take care of the children at all cost. Growing up with a BPD parent is often crazymaking, scary, and depressing. Best of luck to you all. ~Z

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Posted by Anonymous-4668c1b4, Aug 3, 2011

Take her in and care for her in every way with reassurance. I have the same disorder and sought refuge with my brother who is taking care of me now. If not for him and his wonderful wife, I would by now have harmed myself. I am taking an antidepressant and small dose of sedative at night which helps so much. I do not believe I will ever be able to earn my own money which is scary. I take one day at a time. Life is not perfect, but children know goodness when they see it in their parents caring for one another through hard times. I would like to hear from your ex-wife about what she is feeling and thinking. Just realizing that someone else is going through something similar is comforting. Maybe we could help each other in some way ? My email address is


Posted by @bluebreeze, Jul 12, 2012

Your children come first. You sound like a kind person, but don't let yourself feel guilty for her situation. A borderline person can harm children terribly. (My son is in a similar situation with his ex; she is toxic at this point.)


Posted by @jaburrill, Jul 14, 2012

I appreciate all of the replies. BPD has been a terrible thing to live with. My ex wife has had several of what I call "melt downs" and has been arested and or hospitalized several times. She refuses to take medication and as a result I have been forced to break all contact with her. Our kids are the biggest victims but they are better off being separated from her. Thanks again.

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