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Joined: Sep 27, 2011

Borderline Personality Disorder

Posted by @missdaramclean, Sep 27, 2011

Hello! I’ve been struggling with BPD since I was 18. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 21. I would like to connect with others and talk about ways of coping with this disorder. I can’t even find the words to explain how I feel other than I’m angry, depressed, frantic, anxious etc. for no reason at all. Whenever my boyfriend goes out of town for business I flip out and I don’t even know why. Anybody else understand what I’m talking about? I feel as if I’m in a constant war within my own mind.



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Joined: Sep 28, 2011
Posted by @ststephy, Sep 28, 2011

Hi! I´m not border (Schyzotypal), but I hear what you´re saying. Other than medication, I can give you some tips my Therapist gave me for anxiety attacks and all:

First, in your regular life, I think it helps to meditate, I´m a buddhist so I do it every day and I do a lot better than many people with my same problem who don´t meditate often.

When you´re feeling a strong anxiety, anger, sadness, the first thing, is to find a “safe zone” meaning, go to someone who knows about your disorder, if you´re in a public place, go to the bathroom or anywhere where you can express this feeling without damaging a relationship, losing a job, or anything like that, in case anything comes out of your mouth that you don´t feel like you can control, take three deep breathes (not quick deep breathes, they have to last at least 10 seconds each) and focus on the thought that the way you´re feeling, is natural in you, it is not “wrong” and mostly, focus in the fact that no matter what, IT IS GOING TO PASS. Maybe sooner, maybe later, but focusing on the fact that you won´t feel this way forever might help.

Hope that helps you, it has helped me a lot through anxiety attacks and spontaneous feelings of sadness. I don´t know about anger though, but I´m assuming it might work just as well.


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Joined: Sep 27, 2011
Posted by @missdaramclean, Oct 11, 2011

thank you very much! that does help 🙂


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Joined: Nov 08, 2012
Posted by @anon52182330, Nov 8, 2012

Thanks for your advice. My twin sister is diagnostic as a borderline but she takes zeldox and trying to know what she is going through got me here. I will give her your advice about to find a safe zone. I love my sister she does not speak English so she can not use this helpful space to share. Thanks again.


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Joined: Jan 11, 2012
Posted by @bdpgrl, Jan 11, 2012

Hi. I have been seeing psychologists, psychiatrists, and my family doctor since I was in middle school. I am 27, but turn 28 next month. I have been battling BPD my entire life. It has been very frusturating for me. The sentence that you wrote “Whenever my boyfriend goes out of town for business I flip out and I don’t even know why. Anybody else understand what I’m talking about? I feel as if I’m in a constant war within my own mind.” is something that I have definately experienced. I have had 3 long term relationships in my life. The first was throughout high school. I was very posessive, angry, jealous, and anxious. I did not understand why I was acting the way that I was. Even though I knew something was wrong with me I felt like I received no help from my therapists. I always felt like I was in a war with my mind. At times I felt like I was crazy. I would constantly yell at him for looking at and hanging out with girls, keeping letters from friends that were girls, ect. I was so enraged at times that I would get physical with him. As much as I wanted to be in the relationship, I also didn’t. It was very confusing and frusturating. We broke up after 4 years. I started running around with different guys. I was having sex with friends that I had. I drank daily. I completely lost it. I could not handle being alone.I met a guy and completely latched onto him. I would go to his house every day. I found out one night that he was dating another girl at the same time. The “relationship” ended but I cannot even remember why. Then, I started dating my first boyfriend step-brother. I never did drugs until this stage in my life. We were doing some pretty dangerous drugs and drinking daily. The relationship was the same as the one before. I was posessive, angry and jealous. This time was even worse. I would get angry at him watching tv if there was a pretty girl. I would get this crazy feeling through my entire body, and could not control it. I would yell and scream and lose it! We got into trouble with the law and he was sent to jail. I it started to date his best friend. All of these relationships started out really good. I was told once that I fake being someone that I am not until we get further into the relationship. That is when everything comes out and I am at it again. This last relationship was filled with drinking, drugs, physical and verbal abuse. I treated him the same as the others. Finally, I got to a point in my life when I was done. I look back at the relationships that I have ruined. I went back to the doctor this past year or two to finally find out what is wrong with me. I have been diagnosed with Severe Anxiety, OCD, and Borderline Personality Disorder. I have been told so many things from so many doctors. I was told that I was BiPolar, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. I have been on so many different types of medication that I cannot even remember all the names. It has been a hard and long battle that I have had with myself. The psychiatrist that I am currently seeing finally talked with my about my issues, and we can both agree that Anxiety, OCD and Borderline Personality Disorder is my diagnosis.

After talking with him I have found that my family life and the way that I grew up was one of the causes of these issues. I am almost 28 years old, but still am treated poorly by my alcoholic father. My parents both have been alcoholics all their lives. The doctor explained to me that being young and always wondering how my dad would react to things caused me to not have stable parents that I could trust. I never knew when I was going to be yelled at, even if I didn’t do anything wrong.

In the past I was so scared to be alone that I would just go from person to person. It did not matter who it was. I made morally incorrect decisions, but saw nothing wrong with it at the time.

My doctor is starting by putting me on anti-anxiety medication, which also helps OCD. Also, I am going to be seeing my psychologist regulary and he wants me to try Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. One thing he said it that there is no pill to take to cure Borderline Personality Disorder. This treatment is known to be the “most successful and effective psychotherapeutic” approach for Borderline Personality Disorder.

I completely understand how you are feeling. It is nice to hear that we are not alone, and that there are great treatments out there for this disorder. Keep your head up!! It can only get better. The good thing is that you know your diagnosis. That is the first and best step in getting help. I feel so relieved having a name for my illness and am excited to conquer this disorder 🙂


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Joined: Mar 11, 2012
Posted by @jettab, Mar 11, 2012

Sometime, knowing that you are not the only one reaching out for some understanding can be a comfort. I freak out when my Husband tries to go somewhere without me, and there is really no reason for it. I know he is coming back but I get desperate and scared for no reason. I know its irrational and uncalled for, but those fears of abandonment are still there. Understanding what is happening in my brain has really helped me to get an edge on those feelings. Reaching out to others like you who have it is helpful too. Thanks for having the courage to post this. You can get through this. 🙂 Don’t give up.


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Joined: Jul 03, 2012
Posted by @gracie2012, Jul 3, 2012

Hi there, I am a 33 year old woman, who thought I was just crazy in the head, and then I find out I have BPD. I feel shocked, scared, sad but also a little hopeful. My ex told me to seek help after I could not bear it when he told me he was not in love with me anymore, but cared a lot, it was like a knife to my heart. I just went crazy and went numb and had a moment of disassociation, apparently this is normal with BPD. I was crazy with him, we had a long distance, and I constantly had him on my mind, and was jealous he was always busy and I seemed to be just another part to his interesting life, where mine was obsessed with him and how he thought of us.
It is nice to finally know a bit about my behaviour. If any of you have any tips, it would be appreciated.


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Joined: Jul 22, 2012
Posted by @karyn55, Jul 22, 2012

I’m 55 and have just now been diagnosed as “borderline!” I live in an independent living mental facility but most of my life I have been out there working, raising my son, and having turbulent relationships. My father was a pedophile who liked boys and traded me for access to them. I was raped when I was 31/2(My mother was a doctor and sewed me up)and there were many more traumas in the home. I am glad this diagnosis does not have the stigma it once did. I really need to go back to work and am taking computer classes to get caught up technologically. I still live with depression every day and nitemares every nite but I am trying to rethink my negative rebellious thoughts–wish I could afford a therapist. Thanks for letting me share my story.

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