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jvmarable69

Borderline Personality Disorder

Posted by @jvmarable69 in Mental Health, Jan 27, 2012

I would like to hear from anyone who suffers from this disorder. I've suspected for a number of years that I had this, but never got the diagnosis until recently. Is there anyone who is in a DBT group or has been in one? Do any of you suffer from another issue such as major depression? I feel glad to know I am not the only one with this particular disorder, but I have read many hopeful things that show there is a good chance for recovery. Thanks to anyone willing to talk.

Tags: mental health, womens health

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radewt24

Posted by @radewt24, Jan 31, 2012

I have been diagnosed with BPD. Yes, often times, but not always depression can play a role in it. I find that I am depressed not necessary for BPD but how I act because I have it. Without medication I flux (emotionally) frequently a few times daily. I go from feeling really awesome and confident to completely crushed because of one said thing. This constant mental up down feeling wears me out and as a result you can become depressed. Not from knowing you have it, but the emotional strain as a result from it.
Another, area I have issue with is interpersonal relationships, if someone doesn't call me back I think, perhaps they're angry with me...when in all reality they are not. I find this similar push, pull strain (characterized typically as black/white thinking) that again causes issue.
A different area of interpersonal relationships is that of need (of others). I can flux between needed others hardly to crying to someone that I need the smallest amount of their time, over an issue that 99% of the time isn't a crisis and will pass. When I look back on it, I often think: well that was unnecessary, but the emotions of the moment overtook me.
Finally, I can flux from a very passive perspective to one of anger and bitterness over an argument or insult. Whatever the issue is, it does not invalidate what I'm feeling but my reaction to it is often times is not appropriate. Message me, I am always willing to chat.

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jvmarable69

Posted by @jvmarable69, Jan 31, 2012

I tried to inbox you but it would not let me - said we had to be "friends" - so I am just replying to this post. sorry

WOW - I am totally blown away! Of course you know that I could have written exactly what you said! I am so very sorry that you suffer from this too. But I have to say that I am so comforted that I am not alone in this. Are you in any type of treatment (therapy, DBT, on medication, etc?)

I have suspected that I had this for several years now, but no doctor in the past was willing to even discuss this. I have always received the diagnosis of Bi-polar II and never felt that that was correct.

I guess I thought I would feel so much better now that I have finally been diagnosed correctly, but instead it has become some sort of obsession to read and study everything I can possibly find about this. I am literally freaked out that so many people have this - I HATE THE STIGMA!! I HATE feeling like some kind of freak, etc, etc. I am SO happy to hear that there are people that recover or at least have the opportunity for self-awareness and the possibility of getting better in any way - shape - or form. HOWEVER I am completely overwhelmed by the fact that it could take YEARS. That in and of itself causes me to feel depressed.

I would love to hear more about your experiences and I can't possibly find the words to thank you for taking the time to reply to my post and help me see that I am truly not alone.

I have been on and off medications for years, it never seems to really get any better. I have had many therapists and never seem to get any better. I don't know if that is just me or if you have had any similar experiences. My family thinks I am a freak - I haven't been successful in romantic relationships and fear I never will, I have ruined most all my friendships over mostly perceived slights and have isolated myself and become socially inept. I have masked symptoms and stuffed feelings for so long that I don't even know where to start to get better. I am well educated, but can only seem to hold down a job for 2 years or under. I have been fired from 4 of my last jobs because of problems with co-workers or because of drama. I have always thought that some of it was my fault - but mainly that it was because I was picked on....I have been unemployed for a year and have become so broken that I have applied for SSD, but my newest therapist feels that I am high functioning enough to work part time but I just don't have the energy or confidence or even know who I am or what I want.I have been on and off so many different meds and combinations of them that I don't know if I am coming or going. I haven't had a drink of alcohol in over a year, but I have masked it all my using drugs to try to escape - albeit temporarily with illegal drugs.

I just don't know if I am up for battling this - I would love to hear more about your story and treatment and experiences. I just quite simply feel broken and that maybe other people can recover, but not me. I'm just too exhausted by it all. But I must say that it gives me hope that I have someone to talk to that truly knows exactly how I feel. Thank you - thank you - thank you and I look forward to hearing back from you when you can.

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radewt24

Posted by @radewt24, Feb 1, 2012

You are always welcome to talk to me because I believe it gives us just what you are feeling, hope. I will give you a detailed answer as soon as I can.

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radewt24

Posted by @radewt24, Feb 4, 2012

The ideology that you can't recover is the BPD playing itself out through devaluation: You need to fight it. I am a candid man and will be so with you. "Recovery" as you call it is not possible...because, we are not sick = ). We have a condition that shadows our perspective on life, however, that fog can lift with the proper medication and treatment. I am on medication (Lamitical) and undergo psycological sessions when necessary. The Lamitical helps keep me emotionally balanced and the psycology sessions help redefine my attitude to more pleasant prospects regarding events in my life. I've learned that both the cause or the cure of our BPD condition is soley within our control. We give "it" the ability to reign free by letting our thoughts and emotions overcome us. Think hard about that preceding sentence...it's so important I'm going to say it again: We give "it" the ability to reign free by letting our thoughts and emotions overcome us. The choice comes down to which path will we make? The act of path choosing is part of the human condition, and that, makes us no different than another person, correct?

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seekinginfo

Posted by @seekinginfo, Feb 6, 2012

sooo true ! thank you !!!!

radewt24

Posted by @radewt24, Feb 12, 2012

my personal email is: williamtradecki@gmail.com If you have additional questions please use it.

jessnick

Posted by @jessnick, Feb 13, 2012

Good morning. Please see my previous post, I too would like to talk to you both about what is going on w/me. Please reply to this email and maybe we all could arrange to be online at the same time or instant message or something. My husband and I are losing our home, my home-business, and I need to get a new job so I am stressed. Because I am probably handling it all inappropriately my husband is ready to leave. Please help... I will be checking this page frequently for posts...Thank you!

jessnick

Posted by @jessnick, Feb 13, 2012

I just joined this Mayo community to reach out to people w/possible Borderline personality disorder. My therapist and husband think I have it and I'm beginning to believe them. I would like to be able to chat w/people about it. How should I get help? please reply when/if you can help...thanx.

seekinginfo

Posted by @seekinginfo, Feb 6, 2012

wow! I can certainly understand what you have been going through. TODAY I came across the the same findings for my own mental health issues. please fill free to email me . thank you and Dont give up!!!!

Posted by Anonymous-aeaf6ea1, Feb 9, 2012

I was diagnosed with major depression recurrent after giving birth to two children in my thirties. The doctor said I might have been raised by a BDP and that I might have learned the behavior and could be about 10% BDP. I think it is probably true because I've made friends with people that I think are more than 50% BDP. I see it in others and I feel sorry for them because I grew up with one of my parents having depression and borderline tendencies all of the time. I walked on eggshells as a kid around my parent because it was like a mine field in my own home. Very difficult to live with and to cope with as a child and young adult. I am over 50 now and I have learned from several friendships with those that have major borderline tendencies, I have to usually be better with my boundaries. I'm not so good at keeping clear lines with people because I am a very compassionate, merciful person that usually forgives easily and loves with all her heart. That is just the way I am because I learned to be super loving from my other parent who made up for the abuse we all suffered while living in the home with a BPD.

Don't know if that makes sense or not but it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized one of my girlfriends was 100% BPD. She would be so mean to me and say things that were so hurtful whenever she got angry. She was single and I was remarried, she made cutting remarks about my husband and how she didn't "need" a man in her life. The truth was, she couldn't keep a man in her life because she was such a bi-atch most of the time. BPD is terrible when a person is not on medication to control the mood swings and blowups. I hope you will seek counseling and overcome any tendencies you have because it will destroy your relationships and your life. Even just a 10% like me can easily ruin relationships if I am not careful.

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