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annie964a

alot, depressed ,upset, worried & not well

Posted by @annie964a in Just Want to Talk, Apr 20, 2012

Hello my name is Susan ,im 58yrs old been married 42 1/2 yrs . i have lynphademia i know i didnt spell that right , restless leg symdrome ,lower back ,syatic nerver & then i fined out i have congestive heart failer & a little more . So, ive never have done this befor but, it seems i cant talk to my husband about these things , he tells me its going to be ok . i have know parents anymore , & know sisters are brothers either ,my childern i just cant talk to them about it . im afraid ,im angery,depressed,strung out i have so much meds i take it looks like a drug store. i had a brother who had congestive heart failer & it wasnt good watching him run out of breath having a hard time breathing but, he was killed befor it got him . i know it might sound crazy at my age 58 but, i just need to talk and want to cry , im lonly scared& cant tell anyone . What should i do is anyone else fell this way ? thank you all for letting me gab on and on . sin.
Susan



piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Susan Welcome to the community. You have been through alot and it's only natural for you to feel the way that you do. Is there a counsellor that maybe you could go and talk to. You know when the physical comes in as well as the feelings depression, grief etc it becomes a real rollercoaster ride as the old saying goes. You have family in your life a husband of many years , children and beautiful grandchildren as well. Sometimes in relation to your husband it not that he doesn't understand, he is just trying to reassure you. We have a good community here feel free and anytime to talk to me and there will be others that we be more than willing as well. Take care Piglit

China likes this
piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Susan, Just me again. You know sometimes we need medications to keep us well. I know that I do. I have to take a blood thinner called Comaudin. It keeps me alive. Sometimes with health issues we just have to trust the Dr that we have. If you feel comfortable stay. Certain medications do have side effects the one that I take does. But every medication doesn.t always affect one person the same. People react differently to medications. So don't be alarmed by this. I take mine everyday and my way of dealing with it is that I need this to stay well. I find this is a good positive approach for something that I have no control over. The community here is a supportive group, but always remember that just talk if you feel comfortable to do so. . Stay postive and take care. Talk soon Piglit

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 30, 2012

hello piglit , i went to the lake over the weekend to get away lol that was a joke because the kids followed me i cant tell them to all stay home but sometimes it would be nice toget away from all the drama . i fell down a hill saturday evening thought i go fishing and my sons pole was going crazy i jumed to get it and rolled down the hill after i fell and almost landed in the lake it was funny but i didnt want them to know i was hurt . but realy am sore & bruised but will be alright . thank you for being conserned about me i beleave im going to join everyone ,as one of the other members said sence i cant beat them join them . this is the best meds i can get . thank you
sin
susan

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 30, 2012

Hi susan Hope your okay after the fall down the hill. Just called in home and off I go again. Will talk later Take care Here if you need me Piglit

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 30, 2012

thank you very much .sin susan

dohomework

Posted by @dohomework, Apr 20, 2012

Susan, perhaps your meds are making your emotions worse.
Make a list of everything you are taking, how much, and when.
Find another doctor so you can get a second opinion. Get a copy of your records from you current doc and take your records and your medication list with you. You don't have to give up the doc you have, just take your medical reords and drug list with you and GET A SECOND OPINION. It could save your life.
Some doctors prescribe medications without understanding all the side effects. Cymbalta sent me from dysthymia to manin and depression simultaneously. I attempted suicide after hitting my husband, two things I had NEVER done in 55 years of living. All medications have side effects.Suicidal ideation and aggressive behavior are two of the MANY side effects of $ymbalta.
Any illness is likely to make a person feel anxious and unwell. Your husband is trying to reassure you but he just doesn't know what else to say.
You have to get help where you can find it. This site is a very good start. You are not alone. Yes, total strangers CAN care about each other and support each other.
Don't worry about your spelling. Just keep typing your feelings, thoughts and worries. You are stronger than you think.

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Dohomework,
thank you for responding back to me it makes me fill humon again just know people do care even when they dont know me. i have alot to do today going togo daown to the lake and clean to help get it ready to open . ill talk to you later thank you again .
sin.
Susan

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Susan,
I know what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless. I often talk to Piglit, who is such a great person, and I too question why it seems like issue after issue have to continue affecting us.
I hope I can reach 58. I'm in my mid 40's (old pic of a time I was less depressed) and in addition to all the trauma both sides of the family have heart disease, diabetes and arthritis ....psychiatric issues as well.
I think given all you're going through it is understanding how you feel. Sometimes we don't want to hear things will be alright when we have so many things to deal with.
Just remember that you did not cause any of the things taking place my dear and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
You feel lonely but think now that you have shared your story you have all of us....like an extended family and we are here for you.
Please be kind to yourself and don't hesitate to send us private messages by adding us as your friends if you want to discuss things more privately or you can always write us in your discussion page and one or more of us will respond.
Sincerely,
Roxie

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 20, 2012

Thank you for your kind words Rox. Always remember that Roxie is right sweetie, that we are here and we will support you in anyway we can. Take care Piglit

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annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Piglet,
thank you for replying back to me ,you just dont know how that makes me fill. i have alot to do today going to the lake to help get it ready to open . i have this head ach again i woke up with it again, i get so tiered og it but iguess ill have to live with it. ill talk to you later on thank you again .
sin.
Susan

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 20, 2012

You are more than welcome to add me as a friend as well if you would like. Have a great day. You'll have lots to tell us later. Take care Piglit

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Roxie,
thank you for being so concerned i realy appreceat it, lol never was a speller i spell it as it sounds to me .. ive woke up with this head ach again , i take so much meds it pathedic ,theres times id like to throw it away but, i know i need it. i have so much toget done we are going down to the lake today "cabins by the lake' to help clean and get it ready to open. im glad thet i can add you as my friend. can you tell me where go to add you? thank you again will talk to you later .
sin.
Susan

uptopart

Posted by @uptopart, Apr 20, 2012

Hi Susan, I may not be as stricken, afflicted, and or mentally wounded/affected like you! This what I do Know, and has experience! My health has decline, ruin, or deteriorated at the discretion, in the care of/under the jurisdiction, doing, and at the expense of another human beings, others! Thats the damn naked truth! If it had not been for the Lord; being on my side, up holding me, and staying the hand of death! I would be dead, and sleeping in my grave! Right on uptopart!

china

Posted by @china, Apr 23, 2012

What the heck is your problem. Sleeping in your grave. Go to the nearby hospital and check yourself in you need a vacation.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 23, 2012

Hi china so well said Take care Piglit

china

Posted by @china, Apr 27, 2012

Thx

lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, May 4, 2012

Hi China,
Wow, what great a great boundary you set with uptopart. You didn't own her illness or even try to fix it. Just call it what it is and tell her where to do to get her own help. Any chance you could do that with your friend's obsessions?
LizKat

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 23, 2012

you are so right the LOrd is my all, i have fallen alot and He has picked me up not once but several times . Yes He listens to me day and night 7days aweek 24 hrs. aday . The Lord said he would not put anything on me i can not handle . Sometmes i forget and have togo back & remind myself im not alone . thank you very much for your respond, i need to tell myself suck it up and remember to thank our Lord everyday for all good & bad things no matter what .
thank you
sin.
Susan

China likes this
china

Posted by @china, Apr 27, 2012

Hello I feel a lot like you. Sleep is not good. My mood is not good either and I have to pretend that everything is fine at work. My best friend is causing me stress with her obsessesions but I'm obligated because we grew up together. Do you ever just need a break from all friends to.

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 30, 2012

Hello China yes you do need a break from you friends & family , I have & know onething your Not obligated to your friend just because you grew up together, your obligated to one person yourself first . try and talk to your friend and let her know how you feel and if shes your friend real friend she will understand. you are right sleeping all the time is not good for me i stayed awake all day a big start for me . thank you for getting back with me please think about what i said about obligated yourself first.
sin.
susan

china

Posted by @china, May 4, 2012

I don't know how 2 say I need a break. Moved from Miami to be support & found a decent job but I want to go back home. Childhood friends so I try but I'm doing my than my bestie. Luv her but she's in denial.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 4, 2012

Hi china You know sometimes we just have tofollow our hearts. You can only help your friend as much as you wants to be helped. Take care talk soon piglit

joanneo

Posted by @joanneo, May 4, 2012

Hi China did u say u were from fl.? I live in fl. On the gulf coast. Englewood. I agree about your comment about tolerating the cold I love the weather here it is so beneficial for fibromyalgia. How are u doing? Joanneo!

jodi

Posted by @jodi, Apr 27, 2012

Hello Susan welcome here. How are you feeling today?you are not alone here. Are you on any medication to help with the fear? That is an awful feeling. Try to relax yourself any way that works. It sounds very hard for you. Please let me know how. You are doing. I truly care!! Jodi

annie964a

Posted by @annie964a, Apr 30, 2012

hello jodi , thank you for replying to me ,it makes me fill better know people care and are int the same state im in and not the only one .im taking so much medication right now it makes me sick just looking at it all . im just wore out , i feel tiered all the time im not a speller so please look over me ,thank you . i have know energy,no appetiate at all and fill very tiered , moody & alot more. i do not like this filling at all my wieght goes up and down might be 210 one day & the next 196 ? i can get my cloths on one day & the next who knows ? well thats enough about me now . I hope things are well your way Jodi thank you again for talking with me i feel better . thank you for your time again & ill talk to u later.
sin
Susan

lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, May 4, 2012

Hi Susan
It is so hard to discuss and process serious illnesses with close friends and family. They are scared and want you to be all right. I am sure that you are scared too. I think it is a good idea to get some support here so welcome aboard.
The weight fluctuations are likely water retention which is part of CHF. Make sure you talk to your doc about that, you might need to adjust your water pill. If the water retention were better controlled it might help with the being pooped out. I had eclampsia when pregnant and gained a ton of water. Honestly, it feels like walking in a pool.
LizKat

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 4, 2012

You have to be selfish some times and put yourself first. Easier said than done I l know.
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 6, 2012

Hi Susan,
It's ok to cry. For some reason we don't feel that crying can be a good thing. After all your experiences a good cry can be a positive coping mechanism and outlet. After a good cry, I, actually feel better.
How are you feeling today? Heart disease took my aunt at 39 and my uncle in his early 40's. Mom needs a pacemaker in a few weeks and it's all so scary.
Please take good care of yourself and be proud of yourself for reaching out for support!
Sincerely,
Rox

China likes this
piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 6, 2012

Hi Susan How are things going. Haven't talked in a while, It is so okay to cry we all do aT diffferent times. We have a great support network here as you can see. So you will never be alone Take care Piglit Here if you need me anytime

china

Posted by @china, May 7, 2012

Hi. Sorry 4 all ur troubles. I feel the same but we have 2 be strong. I force myself 2 do things because if I didn't depression would win. I feel 4u.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 10, 2012

Good morning dear,
Just checking in to see how things are going for you.
Take care,
Rox

findingdatruth

Posted by @findingdatruth, May 13, 2012

Congratulations on being married so long. I'm going through a divorce due to my illness. I lost a good woman and it has me sad but I deserve it.

Posted by Anonymous-3b5f71f7, Nov 23, 2012

Dear Susan as I read your comments concerning the things/ ailments that you are dealing with my heart really felt your emotional and mental pain...I too have lymphedema in my left leg, which if not managed properly can swell the affected limb or body part to ultra extreme proportions because of the excessive lymphatic fluid that has accumalated...I have perioral dermatitis, which is a terrible skin condition that is very difficult to treat. This life-changing skin disease has caused much isolation on my part when it comes to outsisde activities and contact with others. Every thing I eat or drink seems to make it worse. Flouride which is in just about everything that a person eats or drinks triggers bad outbreaks of my PD with a vengence. I have TMAU which very few people and doctors know about. I am gonna try and start a discussion about TMAU as well as Perioral dermatitis to find how others in a literal and practical way are coping with these three horrific ailments. TMAU is the most devasting of the three things I'm dealing with beacuse your hygiene is always called into question...even as I type this it is to painful and embarrassing to give details about it. I will say this much that TMAU is caused by a mutation in the FMO3 gene, and is inherited in an autosomal recessive pattern. I really dont know what all this means, all I know is all three of these things can put your life on hold if you allow them to. All three of these ailments can cause continuous deep depression, anxiety, stress and worry.
Susan I use to angry about these terrible conditions that has wreaked havoc and ridicule in my life. But now Im coping successfully with all three. It is only and I mean ONLY by means of my close relationship with GOD in my life that has carried me through the stares and degrogatory or unkind gestures that often come from others when im in their presence. I've learn to see these ones as persons lacking knowledge and understanding of a situation. I see that these ones lack compassion for the lowly one or underdog if you will...then Jehovah helps me to see that if these ones had heartfelt knowledge of my condition, if they had real heartfelt compassion and understanding then they would reach out and show personal interest in others.

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