1. < Depression & Anxiety

Down n Out

Posted by menodummy @menodummy, Oct 23, 2012

Not looking for pity, just some solid advice. I am not trying to hide my depression though some may not see it, many look at me and it is obvious they see something. Since I can remember I have heard and continue to hear, "are you angry"? or "are you sad"? The truth be told, there is something wrong. On a scale of mild to moderate I have most always dealt with depression. This morning I awoke to some of the worse depression I have ever felt. Long story very short, I feel like a complete failure and have so most if not all of my life. I experience a lot of heartache, worry, stress, anxiety. 10th grade drop out, ex felon (30+years ago and in trouble since the age of 7). About a half dozen foster homes. Yet though that and so much more I have been blessed with some decent income producing careers, over time I gave up on them, lost motivation to try. Just sent my youngest off to college and am now an empty nester. Do not have a lot of friends probably of my own choosing. In general I do not feel I have anything to offer. The fact that I have 5 kids is probably the single reason I am alive today. Just being honest. Due to the economy along with my own lack of preparedness, I spend most of my time in front of a computer looking through the events of the day. No motivation, even when things get dropped into my lap. So why am I here? I have spoke to many counselors, psychologists, and the like and I am sorry but they just are not happening or I am not receiving it. Tried some meds for about a month or two to no avail. Seriously do not know where to turn. I do not have the finances to go through any counseling. Any advice will be appreciated, but if you are going to tell me to look at my inner self or try to psych myself into thinking of myself more highly then I am, it is not worth your time. Thanks

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menodummy | @menodummy | Oct 30, 2012
In reply to @monicacakes "You have a lot of stuff going on on your life and its been that way..." + (show)
@monicacakes

You have a lot of stuff going on on your life and its been that way from the beginning. I have depression along with other mental illnesses and I'm medicated (have been for almost ten years now) and I see two people regularly. Depression isn't really something that goes away.. You can control it, but that's about it. If someone asked me for advice concerning what you told me, I'd say not to give up although its hard not to, to try and see a doctor (it took me four tries to get to the doctor most helpful to me) and don't feel discouraged if the first few sessions are awkward. There is so much I could say to you in hopes of trying to help, but I'll leave it there for now.

But remember, keeping your mind occupied with positive things is key. Occupying yourself is key as well. Take walks. Volunteer somewhere. Don't stay in your house all day. I know doing this keeps me a couple steps ahead of my depression.

Stay safe.

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Thanks Monica I think that is some very wise advice and have heard the same from others. Hopefully you will come to the end of yours at some point.

Peace

REPLY
perrychristlike | @perrychristlike | Oct 31, 2012

Hello, Meno
I hope this isn't to frank, but after reading everything you wrote, my advice would be to 1st: FORGIVE YOURSELF. I say this because you mentioned a lot of disappointing things you've done in your past. We make mistakes, and no body's perfect. 2nd: After forgiving yourself, START OVER. You mention you've had many opportunites to rebuild your life but gave up on them. Keep trying till you get it right, and if you fall down get right back up again! Thank your Higher Power for time and pray for more. You have a purpose in life and it may not be as spectacular as other ppl, but it is your purpose! You mention your kids; maybe that's your purpose, to stay alive just for them. The rewards you're looking for to come through you may come through them, and from this, you have fulfilled your purpose. 3rd (and most important): I recommend you STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVEN'T DONE AND START CONGRAULATING YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE; even if it means just staying alive for your children or just waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, and getting on the computer; SOME PPL DON'T EVEN DO THAT!
I personally don't believe in meds being the answer for everbody, and I do believe in training the innerself, but you don't want to hear about that, so I bid you good luck, peace, and self love.

REPLY
1 reply
colleendonovan30 | @colleendonovan30 | Oct 31, 2012
In reply to @driftwood "I can't offer advice, but I identify with you, and your honesty felt comforting." + (show)
@driftwood

I can't offer advice, but I identify with you, and your honesty felt comforting.

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Get your thyroid checked out too for hormone imbalances. Focus on the positive and do things to take your mind off of things. If you believe in god than get into his word.

REPLY
menodummy | @menodummy | Oct 31, 2012
In reply to @perrychristlike "Hello, Meno I hope this isn't to frank, but after reading everything you wrote, my advice..." + (show)
@perrychristlike

Hello, Meno
I hope this isn't to frank, but after reading everything you wrote, my advice would be to 1st: FORGIVE YOURSELF. I say this because you mentioned a lot of disappointing things you've done in your past. We make mistakes, and no body's perfect. 2nd: After forgiving yourself, START OVER. You mention you've had many opportunites to rebuild your life but gave up on them. Keep trying till you get it right, and if you fall down get right back up again! Thank your Higher Power for time and pray for more. You have a purpose in life and it may not be as spectacular as other ppl, but it is your purpose! You mention your kids; maybe that's your purpose, to stay alive just for them. The rewards you're looking for to come through you may come through them, and from this, you have fulfilled your purpose. 3rd (and most important): I recommend you STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVEN'T DONE AND START CONGRAULATING YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE; even if it means just staying alive for your children or just waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, and getting on the computer; SOME PPL DON'T EVEN DO THAT!
I personally don't believe in meds being the answer for everbody, and I do believe in training the innerself, but you don't want to hear about that, so I bid you good luck, peace, and self love.

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If only it were that simple and I am no suggesting what you have suggested is easy I am saying it is a very difficult spot to be in. I appreciate your response though. You have a good heart Thank you

REPLY
piglit | @piglit | Oct 31, 2012

Hi I think that to have positivity is a good thing to try to keep in our lives. We have all been faced with many challenges in our lives, and I think that at the end of the day they make us stronger. I myself feel saddened at the way that you feel. I have had depression and anxiety for the majority of my life, and at times you do feel the way that you do. But if I can be honest you are the only one that can try to turn things around for you and your family. Each and everyday that we are here is a blessing and should be so treasured with what we have in life I find that to focus on the things that bring us happiness is the way to go, even if it's going for a walk. You can change the way that you are feeling, try not to be so hard on yourself, you have acheived things in your life be proud of them always. I speak these words from many years of focusing on the positive things that life has had to offer and believe me challenges have been placed before me healthwise one after the other. over the past six months. You just have to have the faith and yes the inner strength that we all have to improve and change the way that the road is travellling for you at the moment. Please take care and I'm always here anytime if you need to talk. Annie

REPLY
1 reply
menodummy | @menodummy | Oct 31, 2012
In reply to @piglit "Hi I think that to have positivity is a good thing to try to keep in..." + (show)
@piglit

Hi I think that to have positivity is a good thing to try to keep in our lives. We have all been faced with many challenges in our lives, and I think that at the end of the day they make us stronger. I myself feel saddened at the way that you feel. I have had depression and anxiety for the majority of my life, and at times you do feel the way that you do. But if I can be honest you are the only one that can try to turn things around for you and your family. Each and everyday that we are here is a blessing and should be so treasured with what we have in life I find that to focus on the things that bring us happiness is the way to go, even if it's going for a walk. You can change the way that you are feeling, try not to be so hard on yourself, you have acheived things in your life be proud of them always. I speak these words from many years of focusing on the positive things that life has had to offer and believe me challenges have been placed before me healthwise one after the other. over the past six months. You just have to have the faith and yes the inner strength that we all have to improve and change the way that the road is travellling for you at the moment. Please take care and I'm always here anytime if you need to talk. Annie

Jump to this post

Thanks for the encouraging words Annie. I hope you are also encouraged by the strength you have in dealing with your own challenges.

REPLY
bbd | @bbd | Oct 31, 2012

What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?

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19 replies
menodummy | @menodummy | Oct 31, 2012
In reply to @bbd "What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?" + (show)
@bbd

What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?

Jump to this post

When I look to my inner self I see failure. Probably leftovers from childhood but thats behind me. The inner self is not.

REPLY
bbd | @bbd | Oct 31, 2012
In reply to @bbd "What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?" + (show)
@bbd

What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?

Jump to this post

What do you want to see?

REPLY
menodummy | @menodummy | Oct 31, 2012
In reply to @bbd "What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?" + (show)
@bbd

What is getting in your way of looking at your inner self?

Jump to this post

I wish I could answer that but since I have nothing to compare to what I see now and throughout life, I dont know. Maybe one who loves himself?

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