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thriller54321 (@thriller54321)

My teen is self-harming/cutting

Mental Health | Last Active: Oct 16, 2012 | Replies (8)

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I had a young friend who shared with me the problem that she had beginning when she was 15 years old. She used to cut herself, too. She told me that she had learned to shut down her feelings to the point she felt emotionless, regardless of what happened. She was pretty low in the self-esteem area, but she covered it up well.
She had a GOOD HOME LIFE… She said when she cut herself it was a ‘relief’ to feel the pain and the fright because at least it was FEELING something.
Her mother found out and insisted that Lacy go to therapy… which she did for several months. She did not have a drug problem, or one with alcohol. Lacy was otherwise a very likeable, delightful. intelligent young person who got on better with adults than her peers. She would have been MUCH better off with home schooling. She finished HS online, and then enjoyed taking some college classes of her choosing.
She was grateful for the therapy that her mother insisted upon. So, please do not give up. This is a problem that CAN be overcome. Good luck to you and your daughter.

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Recently I to just started this horrible journey with with16 year old daughter. We did intensive outpatient therapy along with medications. The most frustrating think is not working with the family on how to handle this. It tearing our family apart. What I did learn is to not add to the guilt after she cuts. (which is really hard sometimes). After she tells me she injured we talk to try to figure out why. I don’t think after lots of therapy she has learned yet the cause.

Dear Peanut, Hello there. To me you sound like a WONDERFUL mother who really loves and cares for her daughter and is truly wanting to do the right thing.
Was the therapist aware of the division of your family members? This could be part ofthe problem. I wonder if your daughter is further ‘punishing/cutting’ herself because of this.
I am not implying anything is ‘wrong’ with your family, either…please do not think that… but sometimes a child feels such GUILT in saying anything ‘against’ a family member that they keep the cause hidden, for fear it will be ‘her’ fault to cause even more grief.
Or it may have NOTHING to do with that. Please, dear lady, just know, that this, too, shall pass. Hang in there, love her and hug her often, and reassure her that no matter what she does you are there for her. Best of luck to you.

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