Borderline personality disorder in my teenage son. Any advice?

About bi-polar dis-order I have had it for all my life and have been on many anti-depressants and found effexor it worked for a bit for depression but I still had the mood swings that would go from a happy high to late at night when i would have to take clonazepam to relax and get some sleep, next day I would swing into an angry high where I was afraid to go outside cause of my anger, I would cry for days and sleep for days it was consuming me, I wouldn't eat or do anything just sleep after I crashed from a high. At the time my phsyciatrist decided to add abilify to my anti-depressant to stabilize my mood swings and it worked along with effexor very well now for 6 years and sometimes I still have a bad couple of days but overall it has worked. First of all he should see a phsyciatrist they are the ones who can prescribe the right combination or med...Don't give up & good luck

Thank you. He does have a physciatrist, and they have changed his meds several times, dosages and different meds. One that he is on, is abilify. He is in high school and has had to go to in-patient therapy a few times. Which has messed up his school grades and the way some people percieve him. I have always just wanted him to succeed in whatever he chose to do, and now this is really making it hard for him to be a carefree kid. He has made some poor judgement choices, which the dr. said the abilify should help. It hasn't yet. I guess I am just scared that he wont be able to lead a normal life, unless he gets the help he needs, but so far, I have not been able to find for him. He is a very smart and talented boy, and this is making things so difficult for him, which in turn, makes it difficult for me. I get really sad and frustrated that there is not a lot of help or information out there to turn to. Thank you for your information and encouragement.

Hi hip4son. I am a 34 year old woman, who has suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder my whole life and let me give you some hope. I have a 16 year old son who is great, and I lead an independent productive life, have a fabulous career, make good money and go to college full-time. I am receiving my Bachelors and am almost done and going to get my Masters, living with BPD is NOT hopeless, you can do well, I am not the only one like this, there are many!

For your son, I know it can be a nightmare, I have been there. Please understand that to control BPD that YEARS of self-awareness, acceptance and support. A person with BPD has the largest fear that they are going to be abandoned. So no matter what, the more you stay and don't leave and support, the easier it will be, even if you don't see it now. Also, everything a person with BPD feels is intensified, magnified. Think of a time when you have felt the saddest you have ever felt, try to multiply that by many and this is how your son feels but with every emotion and it will change over and over.

Advice I can give you.

It can take multiple physichiatrists and medications before you find one that will work. If you feel you are getting nowhere with one, go to someone else. Your son may not be connecting with who you are seeing.

Make sure who he is seeing SPECIALIZES in BPD, if not, definitely take him somewhere else. There is VERY specific therapy to BPD and he needs it!

Also, try to find research studies going on regarding medications and studies for BPD. I have enrolled in one myself and it changed my life. The newest therapies and drugs coming out are sometimes the best.

Look into Seroquel for him, ASK about it! This could be a life-changer for you. It is used to treat schizophrenia but has been found to help people with BPD and WORKS! The side effects are not good at first and it makes you extremely tired and hungry but after a week he will be fine. It changes lives!

Last, but not least, do not lose hope or give up on him. He is still your son no matter his behavior. It is a nightmare living with BPD, I have no words for it. Nobody should be cursed to live with something so awful. Having BPD paired with just being a teenager makes it even worse.

I am more than happy to help you in any way that I can and answer any questions, but look at the University of Minnesota Research Studies around Borderline Personality Disorder -- they have fantastic doctors who know what they are doing! It will help your son!

Thank you so much!! It does give me hope. My ex husband did not believe at first, about the BPD. He would not believe it. And now he is starting to believe it, but not accepting it. He agrees there is a problem, but he is not looking into the matter. Not researching it. I gave him a book called "I hate you, don't leave me". It took me forever to get thru' it, just because it was so depressing, until towards the end where it gave some hope. We have fought about it. I have been trying to find a physcologist that specializes in Borderline in teens. There is not one in our area, the one we have has studied this and is familiar with it, but does not specialize in it. They say that they cannot treat my son as a borderline, just because the symptoms are so similiar to teen behavior. But the doctors have said that he does have the classic symptoms of this. So it is frustrating.

I will look up the stuff you have told me. And thank you so much for the advice. I really appreciate it. It just seems at times that there is no where to go and no one to talk to about this. There is no way I would ever give up on my son. No matter what, I will always be there for him. It is just sad that he has to go thru' all this, and I don't know if he even understands it himself.

Again, thank you, for the encouragement and advice!! It goes a long way to hear that someone else has made it with this, and is succeeding at life. Thank you!

Hi, @hlp4son - wanted to check in with you to see how you are doing? How is your son you talked about having borderline personality disorder?

We have alot of mental illness in our family. So, I research on the net for ideas. I found a group called MedCircle.com. Very informative.

Dialectice behavorial theropy, DBT, is recommended. Learn more on youtube.

Have they been trying medications for him? My advice would be to check out a NAMI family support group if you can, some of them are really informative. If they aren't looking at med changes then maybe it's time for a new provider. I would also check to see if your provider does the DNA Cheek swab test, I can't remember what it is called, but most insurance will pay for it. They test you for over 100 medications that are mostly used to treat mental illnesses, and they look at how your body uses medications if a medication is processed in your body as it would normally be prescribed or if it is used up more rapidly or if it builds up in your body, and you need less. I know when they did mine and I had three meds that my body would process normally it was an eye-opener as to why I struggled so much with medications. I have now been on the same med regimen for around 6 years now with just minor tweaks to the dosage amounts. I know when I was young I was diagnosed the same as your son but as I aged they changed my diagnosis. I am now 55 and my only diagnosis is Recurrent Major Depression. Not only that, but I was very angry and confused why they diagnosed me the way they did when I was 20 years old and your son may be struggling with the same issue. Keep looking for a good medication provider, make sure he is taking his meds as prescribed and find him a good therapist that he clicks with. If you just randomly pick a therapist and think that you are good you may be totally wrong. You need to find someone who he feels listens to him and provides good feedback. I hope this helps you some, and I hope you get the cheek swab from Gene Sight done