1. < Men's Health

people games

Posted by margareto @margareto, May 17, 2012

in-law acts real sweet and tries every way to get information on family members. Then anything said (which may be completely innocent and generic) is twisted causing other family members to act strangely and sometimes downright hostile. Am pretty good at reading body language so I have a good idea about what is happening. Other than having no contact with this "toxic" person, how do you handle same?

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piglit | @piglit | May 25, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "Honestly, there's no need for this nonsense. Mayo discussions are supposed to be supportive not demoralizing...." + (show)
@roxie43

Honestly, there's no need for this nonsense. Mayo discussions are supposed to be supportive not demoralizing.
Let's be kind to one another.
Rox

Jump to this post

we don't all play games. It's not good to upset peoples lives People that play games hurt peoples feelings and that's so not good

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Leanne | @leanne | May 25, 2012

Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and that is you must stay away. If you can't stay away because they are family, you must not care or let these people under your skin. Be civil but, you must do a cold turkey emotional write off. Understand that your relationship with this person will never be good and they will queer your relationship with anyone you have in common. It is a wide world out there surround yourself with better people. Further when you ask for advice or describe this kind of thing to people who blame you and put your worries off that is a sure sign that those people do the same thing. They can't comfort you because they themselves are guilty of mistreatment bearing false witness, lying and falsely maligning. Good luck, some people enjoy being jerks.

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5 replies
Leanne | @leanne | May 25, 2012

Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and that is you must stay away. If you can't stay away because they are family, you must not care or let these people under your skin. Be civil but, you must do a cold turkey emotional write off. Understand that your relationship with this person will never be good and they will queer your relationship with anyone you have in common. It is a wide world out there surround yourself with better people. Further when you ask for advice or describe this kind of thing to people who blame you and put your worries off that is a sure sign that those people do the same thing. They can't comfort you because they themselves are guilty of mistreatment bearing false witness, lying and falsely maligning. Good luck, some people enjoy being jerks.

REPLY
1 reply
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 25, 2012
In reply to @leanne "Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and..." + (show)
@leanne

Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and that is you must stay away. If you can't stay away because they are family, you must not care or let these people under your skin. Be civil but, you must do a cold turkey emotional write off. Understand that your relationship with this person will never be good and they will queer your relationship with anyone you have in common. It is a wide world out there surround yourself with better people. Further when you ask for advice or describe this kind of thing to people who blame you and put your worries off that is a sure sign that those people do the same thing. They can't comfort you because they themselves are guilty of mistreatment bearing false witness, lying and falsely maligning. Good luck, some people enjoy being jerks.

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I too have been through this. On the receiving end of a false marriage. A marriage that began with lies and ended in lies. Your discomfort is understandable and you should move on. Get your own place and distance yourself from family that is siding with the person. If you hurt someone it's normal for feelings of resentment. Own what you did but don't own what you did not. I agree people are jerks especially people who put two cent's on matters they know nothing of. Someone who is clueless calling a victim a jerk is a jerk.

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 25, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "Honestly, there's no need for this nonsense. Mayo discussions are supposed to be supportive not demoralizing...." + (show)
@roxie43

Honestly, there's no need for this nonsense. Mayo discussions are supposed to be supportive not demoralizing.
Let's be kind to one another.
Rox

Jump to this post

So agree Piglit! Not everyone plays games with people's lives.
Hugs,
Rox

REPLY
margareto | @margareto | May 29, 2012
In reply to @leanne "Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and..." + (show)
@leanne

Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and that is you must stay away. If you can't stay away because they are family, you must not care or let these people under your skin. Be civil but, you must do a cold turkey emotional write off. Understand that your relationship with this person will never be good and they will queer your relationship with anyone you have in common. It is a wide world out there surround yourself with better people. Further when you ask for advice or describe this kind of thing to people who blame you and put your worries off that is a sure sign that those people do the same thing. They can't comfort you because they themselves are guilty of mistreatment bearing false witness, lying and falsely maligning. Good luck, some people enjoy being jerks.

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sound advice! It sure pays to be aware. Yes, SOME people (most are decent people) seem to get through life by being total jerks but eventually people discover them for who they really are, i.e. trouble makers and miserable people. Life has so much to offer --- we don't need to tear people down in order to lift selves up. Take care Leanne.

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margareto | @margareto | May 29, 2012
In reply to @leanne "Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and..." + (show)
@leanne

Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and that is you must stay away. If you can't stay away because they are family, you must not care or let these people under your skin. Be civil but, you must do a cold turkey emotional write off. Understand that your relationship with this person will never be good and they will queer your relationship with anyone you have in common. It is a wide world out there surround yourself with better people. Further when you ask for advice or describe this kind of thing to people who blame you and put your worries off that is a sure sign that those people do the same thing. They can't comfort you because they themselves are guilty of mistreatment bearing false witness, lying and falsely maligning. Good luck, some people enjoy being jerks.

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Agree. Life has a way of exposing the true character of certain people. Truth always comes to the surface. Jerks are jerks and it is best to have little interaction with some people. They will find other innocent victims to dump on. Such people educate us in many ways, i.e. who to avoid!!!!!

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margareto | @margareto | May 29, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "Honestly, there's no need for this nonsense. Mayo discussions are supposed to be supportive not demoralizing...." + (show)
@roxie43

Honestly, there's no need for this nonsense. Mayo discussions are supposed to be supportive not demoralizing.
Let's be kind to one another.
Rox

Jump to this post

You are totally right, Roxie. Let's take the high road and move on. Must remember not to give importance to such miserable people.

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 29, 2012
In reply to @leanne "Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and..." + (show)
@leanne

Been through that kind of thing. There is only one way to deal with this, and that is you must stay away. If you can't stay away because they are family, you must not care or let these people under your skin. Be civil but, you must do a cold turkey emotional write off. Understand that your relationship with this person will never be good and they will queer your relationship with anyone you have in common. It is a wide world out there surround yourself with better people. Further when you ask for advice or describe this kind of thing to people who blame you and put your worries off that is a sure sign that those people do the same thing. They can't comfort you because they themselves are guilty of mistreatment bearing false witness, lying and falsely maligning. Good luck, some people enjoy being jerks.

Jump to this post

Avoid anyone until you can get your own life together. Why would a kind hearted person get into family dynamics unless you also mislead them? Everyone has hopefully learned a valuable lesson. For me, never give anyone the time of day who lives with his mother and what he owns is in a box. Not a grown person. Some times we have to accept accountability when we knowingly hurt someone.
If you lost a loved you hurt just make sure your third marriage doesn't begin the same way.

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