Dear marylynette: Sounds like you have a great deal more to deal with than I but that you have also found some good supports and ways to cope. Don't know what DID is? I too keep a journal, but I find I'm really writing the same things over and over. I guess it is a way to vent. Yes depression is a greatly misunderstood disease and the nature of it is to rob one of self esteem and make you feel like a loser and a failure so that you could almost believe what some think - that it is a character weakness and that you should just be able to rise up & deal with it!! Acceptance is such a barrier for me. I guess I am thinking that their is some magic out there that I just haven't found yet. I shall remember you in my prayers as well. Hope He is listening.

DID is Dissociative Identity Disorder, more commonly called Multiple Personality Disorder. It has been a struggle to overcome, and a struggle learning to live in the world with full awareness, but it has been worth it. Remember always that what we are dealing with is an illness, not a weakness anymore than diabetes or fibromyalgia, or a broken bone. I find that I often am writing the same things, but I have learned that it is my way of working through issues. Lately I have been neglegent in my journaling because the depression has been so very debiliating. I am hoping that I will find the energy to get back to it soon. You needn't hope He is listening, you may know for a certainty that He knows all that you are going through, and feels your pain...and loves you very very much. He hears, he cares, and He is always near. I look back on my life and realize that more often than not there is only one set of footprints......and they are not mine. marylynette

Thanks for filling me in on DID. I can only imagine the distress of it. Hope that it is now in your past. Thanks for your words of encouragement. So good to communicate with someone who understands from experience the devastation of depression. Together we can make a great difference for each other. BLESSINGS!!

Hi Xin, I have struggled with aniexty from and young age, depression later in life. It sure is not a good feeling when you are feeling lonely. I always try to keep positive and my inner strenght whidh we all have within is helps and alot of faith, We have such a great support group here and it is wonderul that we can all be there for each other. There are many downs with depression but the ups overide them in time. Take care Piglit

Greetings Piglet! From the GREAT WHITE NORTH! Snowed all day yesterday & night & night before & most of the day. This is the most we have had all winter. This is April 14th! It is supposedly spring now. Not great for depressives. No sun makes an even darker mood. I don't know if we all find that dull days affect us that way?? Not finding the Cymbalta helping much yet. How long oh Lord?? It is good to just vent on line here & not have to try & put on The Act. ("How are you?" " Oh fine, fine & you? . . . .etc, etc,) Big fake smile & the small talk. But of course, one can't be bleeding on people. Even the ones that really care get tired of hearing the same old sighs, I'm sure. I am tired of myself, for goodness sake!! Enough whining! Hope yall feelin' betta, now, ya hear!?!

Hi Xin, Nice to hear from you. I.m lucky we have sunshine at the moment. I'm okay thanks. You know that this is a great support group and you should never really feel that any of us get tired of hearing about how each other are. The beauty of this is that we don't have to put on a fake smile etc. We accept each other for who we are and are no way judgemental of each other and our feelings. I know that I never get tired of hearing the same old thing. We are all here to understand, care and listen to each other. Hope your meds work for you soon, Keep positive it always helps. Talk soon Piglit

Thanks Piglit: Good to hear from you too! Just really going thru DEATH VALLEY lately. Finding it impossible to "get a grip". Just need to keep reaching to anyone who will listen & hold my hand. Hard to find anything hopeful in my life now or in the future. Please keep talking to me everyone. Is life really worth living? So what if we feed the hungry, clothe the naked; shelter the homeless and do all manner of good things. We are all going to SUFFER & die in the end. Probably the sooner, the better before we start to have expectations. Sorry for all this Piglit; I'm probably dragging you down with me.

Hi xin, Don't ever think that you are dragging me down. Your not. Listen to Momentum his words are so true . He is a very wise person, and has lived through so many experiences, we can learn from his words, He is also a very dear friend of mine. We are both here for you. You know it is good to get out, we all need to leave the isolation of the four walls. There is a world out there. Sometimes when things get on top of us we just have to try to be a bit stronger. I always say that we have to spread our wings and fly a litttle more. Have expectations in your life. Dreams are always possible we just have to follow them sometimes. You know I have been through up and downs too as Momentum and many others. We just have to realize that the challenges that sometimes are put in front of us somehow in the end make us stronger. Look back on things that you have gone through and I.m sure theres positivity somewhere in there. I am here for you as is Momentum we can talk and listen, help as much as we can. But at the end of the day Sweetie, you also have to help yourself a little along the way., we all do Take care here if you need me Piglit