depression...

Hi dear
I'm glad you got the courage to share
There is more to depression than medications
Are you in therapy? Are you cutting as a way to cope with all the pain, emptiness and lonliness you feel? Why don't you have friends? Sorry for all the questions. I'm just trying to get a clearer picture.
Please don't hurt yourself and express everything you're feeling to someone you trust like a counselor or another adult you trust. Living with depression can be challenging but not impossible and hope is so important. Some medications don't help so its important to inform your prescriber. Take it from someone with ang long hx of depression, life is not over because of it. You however have to take a vested interest in your recovery and although you may feel ostracized you should not be ashamed nor be hurting yourself. Hurting ourselves with ugly marks, that will never fade, really does not make things any better.
If you are annoyed at being watched stop the cutting. Or, are you cutting to get the attention you were lacking? It sounds like you're in pain which is normal under the circumstances but try to find healthier coping skills with your providers
Hang in there and use all of the resources available to learn more about what ails you and how you came work towards being in a safer & comforting place
It does exist so please have faith ....
Your friend Rox

If you are not getting answers from health care providers I'd go online. read about cutting and why you do it. See if it applies if not ask to see a counselor who does hypnosis. Ask a lot of questions and ask for help. For sleep the best thing for me was Soma Massage and accupuncture. Many of us don't sleep as we are reliving the past and it keeps us away. Soma and accupuncture help to free us from the past. it doesn't make us forget but it helps us to understand ourselves and that the past isn't important as it does even exist anymore. what's important is understanding our past and our selves and moving forward to become a better person. Also research ADHD. Many persons with unexplained depression have this. once known one can deal with it since it is genetic and there is lots of help out there. Any kind of counselling should only be cognitive therapy. Research online and learn as much as you can and do what seems right for you. I'm only offering suggestions based on my personal experience. I'd also recommend reading Miguel Ruiz's books. Start with the 4 agreements and for sure read Mastery of Love.
You have a purpose to be on this earth. you may not believe it or know it yet but with time you will hopefully know that reason. Another good book is Heal Thyself by Louise Hay. She talks about how being abused helped her become the amazing person she is today. Adversities don't last forever and they help us learn so very much. You can retrain your brain to deal with the depression and develop a wonderful sense about yourself. Hope this helps. Joy

Hello there you are brave to be in here welcome to mayo I was diagnose with depression your definitely not alone doctor advise me even if you don't want to socialize try to reach out to people get help with everybody i was crying a lot of times we still need to find ways to get better you'll be amazed people like to help .everybody is asking the same thing to me if I'm going to you know what I mean and I told them that if I do those things I am not going to heaven so I'm trying to communicate with everybody even if I don't like it sometimes i can easily get irritable /anxiety I am pushing myself up for things to feel better and people with depression it is not our fault it is the chemical imbalance of our brain please do what you enjoy , hold of big decisions, i try physical activity even if its difficult it helps me reduce my symptoms just think that we can overcome our symptoms Hang in there everything will be okey .

Hi! I know you don't know me personally. But I am your friend! I am your friend because I have a heart to love anyone! I don't know you personally but I love you and god does also! I want you to get on your knees and pray ask god to please deliver you from this and you believe it and it will happen!!!! May god bless you my friend

Hello , I was thinking about that pray and get in to our knees to god ,he will help us to this darkness
He will give us a shining light always because god love us and it feels good when you talk to him or listen to his teachings he has a purpose to all of us . God loves you .

Hi Niccy,
I too was diagnosed at an early age and left in the dark. I use to throw myself down steps, cut myself, act out in class and I finally got hooked up with a good counselor who helped me through trying to hurt my self because I now know I was doing it for attention. Everyone would pay attention and I was the center of attention. Have they given you any reason why you are not sleeping? I know what it i s like not to be able to sleep until your body says forgot it and finally gives in to sleep. Have you tried meditating before you go to bed? When I do I always fall asleep, which my counselor said is a good thing.

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Niccy, I first experienced depression when I was 16. I was super anxious, couldn't sleep and was trying to find ways to kill myself. It sounds simple and trivial, but things turned the corner for me that first time when hockey season started and I didn't have so much time on my hands. It was a lot more serious when it reoccurred a couple of years later. I remember being sent home from emergency with a workbook on depression to look through. That was the kind of help I was offered at the start. Over 20 years though I have found things like support groups, psychologists and group therapy really help. Support groups are nice because they are pretty informal and sometimes you have the option to just sit and listen if you don't feel like saying anything. The group therapy I have been involved in is supervised, directed by psychologists and really challenged me to analyze myself. Psychologists have helped me learn new ways of dealing with challenges I have and keep me in check from month to month. I also read a bit about how you are very active in caring for your little sister. I was only 7 years older than my sister and brother, but have come to realize that I took on a lot of responsibility when it came to their upbringing that put different stresses on me. Like you, I only did it because I wanted the best for them but I realize that I really sacrificed being a kid in some ways because of it. I relate to the friends thing too. High school can be a lonely place at the best of times. Life is way better after high school, trust me on that one. I'm not going to give you a bunch of advice, you are already taking steps to figure things out on your own just by visiting this site. This is the first time I have been here, so you beat me to it!!! Keep up the good work.

Hi Niccy, You know that I have had aniexty from a very young age, depression with me came later in life. Many of us have this. It can be managed with medications. In my case I can't take any due to a medical problem I have. You no my dear that to talk to people is a great help. Don't think that it has to be an attention seeking issue it doesn.t it just something that you have. Some people have diabeties etc and they are treated for the condition. It goes the same for you my sweet me and many others. I was three years old when I knew that something had occured with me, due to something that happened. Later as I became older i knew that it was anxiety. You are so young sweetie and help is out there for you. Take the chance that you have to feel better and fly with it. Try and talk to someone that can help you. I am here if you need me and you will find others in our community to. You are not in anyway alone. Will keep in touch to see how you go talk to me if you need to my sweet. Take care Piglit Try warm milk and honey before you go to bed and think of something that makes you feel happy. this may help.

i can relate..im only 14 and my life feels like a soap orpera.....When i was12 my dad started raping me..full on then after i told someone he started emails and txtxs saying how i was fat and ugly and he did it to me cuz he knew tht no other man would want ot have sex with me and thats how the anorexia binge perge started then after tht ...i started cuting cuzof the eating diorder than i was diagonoseed with depression and bipolar/anxiety syndrome.....IM ONLY 14!!!!! i cant tell my mom tht all this happend to me cuz she sorta kinda crazy..shes knows about about my dad andd the deppresion and the bipolar anxiety buit the doctor kindly did not tell her about the eating disopders or cutting....on top of all tht i hav dislexyia.....ahhhh..any advice?