What plans are you making to age at home?

Good morning, @alive Your post brought back many memories for me. I am sure others have far more positive experiences or live in areas with more services available, but this is what I found.

All I can add as an answer to your question is with us it took a whale of a lot of trial and error, finding good resources, then having them disappear or go out of the business. I discovered finding caring services was just as challenging as finding a handiman, a good plumber, or a dedicated PC doc. A significant challenge for us was finding individuals who actually wanted to do in-home care work. Some were personality problems, two actually burgled our house, one tried to convenience my wife to write me out of our wills and name her, and one was so verbally abusive I got a call from our local coffee shop while I was out of town to tell me. So a ton of trial and error. We found this to be true with every for-profit home care company as many employed folks without the necessary knowledge. Also as my wife's needs increased, some helpers would refuse to continue working with her.

All that said, once my wife was prescribed home hospice care, we found excellent folks!

I congratulate you on thinking about this all in advance.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

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Wow! That sounds like a nightmare! That’s also my fear. It’s sad that there are so few good options for in home care as we age.

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We moved from Michigan to southern New Mexico in 2002 into a no steps to enter, one floor, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house with 1 walk in shower and kitchen counter tops and dishwasher at almost perfect heights. The yards requires 4 visits a year by our yard service. We followed Mayo's advice and don't use ladders inside or outside the house -- meaning we hire someone to change filters, light bulbs, and dust the fans. We decided it is less expensive to pay as we go along rather than have a medical issue from a ladder fall. Our physician said, "Joe, stop using ladders." My wife said, "I am with him when he is on a ladder." Doc said, "What are you going to do if he falls? Watch? Call 911 if you have your phone?" If we get snow during the winter it is gone by noon. Instead, we have a few "too windy/dusty to be outside walking or riding days" during early Spring.

We anticipate having problems if we need someone to come into the house to help with long-term or hospice care. That might be a problem regardless of location, but we would like to hear if someone has found a good location or resource for reliable in-home long-term or hospice care.

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Have checked out those gutter things on TV that prevent things from getting to your gutters? I can't remember the name but they seem very effective. My cousin was on a ladder and fell off and broke her hip!

Have you checked with your local senior center on that last question.

We considered moving to New Mexico but were deterred by the lack of hospitals and specialists. Do you have enough medical resources where you are in New Mexico?

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@alive, @IndianaScott, @sueinmn, and all...
I'm now in my 4th downsizing...4th and final, thank the good Lord. I have lived in this 2 story condo for 30 years, with several years also living with my fiance in his home, with pool/pool house, decks, porch, garden-small, 2 car garage and he had a lot of tosols, tractor-mower, etc. I helped him downsize when he moved to my condo with 3 garage sales, and selling online. Etc.

I've done the same for my mother. Then, after my fiance died in a car accident, I had an estate sale, sold some things online and with a dealer.

Now, since he and I planned renovations to my condo, I've been living in a partially renovated home for several years, as I dealt with multiple medical issues and hospitalizations. I have most of my furniture in storage!

Well. Friday, I had a plumber to repair my sons sink, asked if he knew anyone who could help me with repairs, etc, he gave me a card. Called and she visited this morning. A delightful, female contractor! I love her!

She will be over this weekend to repair wall, ceiling, tile damage after another plumber cuts into 3 baths, LR, DR to replace a cracked, leaking cast iron drainage pipe.

Quite a saga....her 23 year old daughter will help me organize, set up a final estate sale inside my LR,DR, list online and have a dealer friend sell some items. Then, the contractor will repair, paint, tile, redo kitchen and my storage unit will be empty....my home will have ONLY what I want and need for this last leg of life. I love this.

She's also repaving and walling my patio. I'm clearing out plants as we. This is a good thing...

Been wanting to get to this place for years, too many medical issues, and now, with iron infusions and God's guidance I have a real, workable plan.

I now must calm, relax, breath, and not overdo so this plan will work.

Be well. Be happy. Be blessed as we walk this crazy journey through aging! Elizabeth

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I would like to get that female contractors business card for my elderly mother. She says the men she hires never do whats promised, charge to much and she says if I dont keep an eye in them the job does not get done right. Thanks dave

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Good morning, @alive It often was for us. I tell this more as a precautionary tale for others so they can realize finding adequate home care can be very unlike the TV advertisements. I often wonder what that industry is like now that help is so hard to find for so many firms. At least here, I believe a contributing factor was these companies' business models. They were charging me $60-$75 an hour, but only paying their employees minimum wage. I understand "overhead", etc., but that imbalance seemed way out of whack to me and, I believe, contributed greatly to their atrocious turnover rates.

Hopefully, this will not be the situation in your community at all!

Strength, Courage, & Peace

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Hi @carolee888,

I hope that your cousin is well again. Hip fractures used to be fatal after a year or so. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3118151/ My argument with our doctor was that our roof is only 20 feet up, but now I realize that I can break a hip falling from a curb.

Our roof is flat and we have canales https://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photography-southwestern-style-canale-gutter-drainage-image8118437; there are no gutters as we knew them in Michigan. That is common in our area. 9 inches of rain is the annual average and half of the that is during 3 months starting in July. Trees taller than the houses are not common. Our HVAC is on the rooftop and so we need to change the filters there at least twice a year and at the same time inspect the roof for any damage. Since it is a reflective white, it helps to hose it off at least once a year to keep the brown dust buildup to a minimum. We hire someone else to do it all. There are resources to help seniors that can't afford to maintain their houses.

We don't have enough medical resources for many specialty services. One must travel at least an hour to El Paso or 3 hours to Albuquerque. That, though, is why we have been in Rochester the last 13 months as my wife battles lung cancer. We were here for 9 months in 2007 for her successful battle, thanks to Mayo, with breast cancer. That care brought us back here frequently over the 15 years for her check-ups. Well worth it!! It has been worth staying here these 13 months too!!! We plan to stay until she wins the battle.

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