@marjou Living alone does not mean you cannot have a careplan in place. My sister lives alone. She has a binder on her kitchen counter with names of people to contact, and I know I am in there with her careplan and executor of estate. She also keeps her latest utility bill and bank account references, etc. there.

If you do not have family nearby you can still have a careplan naming them. My first step was to decide what I wanted to have in place. As that got finished, I considered who would most likely to follow through without any fuss or muss. Sometimes it is a sibling, sometimes a cousin, sometimes a good friend. You want to approach them and ask if they are comfortable acting on your behalf. For example, my husband wanted my good friend to also be named [she is a good friend of mine before being a lawyer for us] as a decision maker in medical concerns, so he could have someone to talk to.

I hope this conversation opens the way for you to start your care plans. Please feel free to ask more questions!

Does your BIL have durable and medical powers of attorney, plus care plans information? You might want to inquire of him. Do you think your mom was avoiding answering your questions?
Ginger