~ deep depession ~

I forgot this but I have been seriously depressed ever since I moved down here to this area of VA. I miss everything about my home in MD ... my friends, my community, my church, I worked for a dentist til he retired. I've struggled with depression/anxiety for years and years and was in therapy and on medication for 12 years up there. Down here I still see a Psychiatrist for medication, but no therapist. Well, now the Psychiatrist has hired a therapist and I'm going to try her in 3 weeks. After 12 years with the one I had in MD, who really pulled me out of some very dark places, I can't even imagine where to start with this new one. I hope it's a fit as I can't afford to drive all the way up to Frederick every other week for counseling .... gas is just too expensive. Thanks again for listening to my story ..... Barb (abby)

Hello Barb, I don't give advice, but I am willing to share a bit of information about what helped me when I was dealing with long term (4 months) major depression. Writing regularly was a start that helped me to identify where some of my anxieties and fears were coming from. This took me months to do, but it gave me a place to start in addition to counseling and a group support. You are not alone in dealing with depression, and I can identify with how debilitating severe depression can be.

Hello, @amberpep Barb, Have you seen the new therapist yet? If it's not a "fit" is there any possibility you can see your former therapist in Maryland virtually on telehealth? Or even do therapy by phone? I know some therapists who do this.

It must be so difficult to know what has worked best for you in the past and then start over again in VA. I've had some severe depressive episodes and anxiety and I also know hard it is to get through these. Do you go for walks? I find that my companion animals are the best. Do you have a dog or a cat?

Have you told your daughters about the creep that is terrorizing you and the other residents? What do they say?

I work for an Active Living facility in Florida. If the one you live in is low to moderate income & accepts any money from HUD for vouchers, tenants here are obligated to sign a Violence Against Women lease addendum. If they violate that, they can be evicted.

I have no idea how it works in your state.

Hi there brc .... yes, I've been journaling since way back when I left my now x-husband. Also, I've been doing some writing in addition, things I just call "musings." Some days, or evenings, I just have this sense rolling through my head and I write it out and it becomes a musing .... sort of story/poem ..... not really either. My therapist told me I should get them published, but I never have. Thanks so much for your input. Barb (abby)

Hi Helen .... thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I see the new therapist this coming Monday. For awhile I was doing sessions virtually on line with my therapist in MD but then found out my insurance wouldn't cover it, as he is not licensed in VA. So that ended that. I have a sweet dog named Ginger .... she's a Cavalier King Charles and couldn't be dearer. But, she sheds like nobodies business. OMG! believe it or not, before I vacuum I literally have to rake the floor to get all the loose and woven in hair up, throw it out, and then vacuum after that. I know there are some really good pet vacuums available, but they are really expensive and I don't have the money for even a refurbished one. Where I live, it's a government subsidized apartment, and today they went around spraying for cockroaches. I have only had 1, but I understand floors 2 and 3 are having terrible problems with them. Everyone is wondering how "they" (the Health Dept.) found out about the roaches .... well that's easy ..... I did! I don't tell anyone because the women in here are so sarcastic and gossip-y that I just go on my merry way. I'm calling them tomorrow again. I may have said this before, but the woman aside of me smokes all night since she can't sleep. She smokes a full carton of cigarettes a week and gets 4 cartons for a month! Well, it was coming right through the bathroom vent into my bathroom and bedroom and every morning I'd get up and it smelled like I had been smoking all night. So, one of my daughters unplugged the fan in the bathroom, taped the whole grill closed with that thick gray packing tape, and I'm using my air purifier in the AM as soon as I wake up. All that has helped, but now it seeps out into the halls and hit everyone as soon as they go out. This afternoon it was wonderfully warm, so I took my dog for a nice long walk, and opened my bedroom about 3" .... when I went back in, around suppertime, because that window was opened her smoking smell was coming into my bedroom! Her venetian blinds are yellow rather than white from all of that. And what about a fire hazard? She's very elderly, uses a walker, is totally humped over it to talk, and talks in that gravel-type voice. She looks awful. So, tomorrow I call the Health Dept. about it. I don't care what other people do to their bodies, but I DO care when it interferes with my health. Barb (abby)

HI SHERRI .... I seem to not be replying right after each of your all's posts .... I'm sorry about that .... I'll eventually get it. Yes, my girls know all about John - the guys name, but they say nothing. We have another guy here who has a brain tumor growing back (he had it removed some years ago and swore he'd never do it again) and in the process he is blowing up at everyone! He caught me in the laundry room the other day and gave me h___ for calling the Health Dept. I just sat til he either stopped or got exhausted, and then I left. Obviously, from now on, with the exception of walking my dog and getting my mail, I stay inside here. I know it's not healthy, but I have no problems hibernating or being a recluse. Barb