1. < Caregivers: Dementia

My wife forgetting: Diagnosed with MCI

Posted by jimmars51 @jimmars51, Nov 29, 2020

She has been diagnosed with M C I for 18 months. More and more lately she will ask if we ate anything today. She very rarely cooks now and if i don't schedule and make meals she goes without. I am trying best to stay up with everything, but its getting tough. Just need to "unload" and ask for ideas to be able to keep up. Lots more going on also.

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Teri | @tsc | Oct 11, 2021
In reply to @cloudycarol "My husband has MCI diagnosed this year, and severe COPD. He is now mostly confined to..." + (show)
@cloudycarol

My husband has MCI diagnosed this year, and severe COPD. He is now mostly confined to his favorite recliner, is fairly rational but needs a lot of help with meals and prompting to take his many medications. Any suggestions on how to manage his caregiving would be appreciated. I’m now doing all tasks around the house that he used to help with.

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Hi @cloudycarol, My husband has moderate Alzheimer's Disease, and I have a couple of serious medical conditions myself. I can't do everything I used to do around the house and yard, physically. He still helps with some chores - he makes the bed, does most of the dishes, but has withdrawn from finance and house maintenance chores. He no longer drives. Like @indiana Scott, I have learned to let things go. Our house is not as clean and tidy as it used to be, and I have to prioritize. Meal preparation or cleaning the bathrooms can't slide, but vacuuming and dusting can. I gave my husband a notebook and he keeps his own records of the meds and supplements he takes every day - so that helps his independence, He rests a lot during the day, which gives me some breathing time. I've also been getting rid of items I no longer want or need. It's a long, slow process, but doing a little at a time, eventually, things get done and I get things out of the house. Are you able to get anyone in to help with chores? Do you have a local Office of Aging, Alzheimer's Association (or comparable agency) that can give you some assistance? It's important to take time for yourself every day for exercise, relaxation and decompressing. Best to you.

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cloudycarol | @cloudycarol | Oct 11, 2021
In reply to @tsc "Hi @cloudycarol, My husband has moderate Alzheimer's Disease, and I have a couple of serious medical..." + (show)
@tsc

Hi @cloudycarol, My husband has moderate Alzheimer's Disease, and I have a couple of serious medical conditions myself. I can't do everything I used to do around the house and yard, physically. He still helps with some chores - he makes the bed, does most of the dishes, but has withdrawn from finance and house maintenance chores. He no longer drives. Like @indiana Scott, I have learned to let things go. Our house is not as clean and tidy as it used to be, and I have to prioritize. Meal preparation or cleaning the bathrooms can't slide, but vacuuming and dusting can. I gave my husband a notebook and he keeps his own records of the meds and supplements he takes every day - so that helps his independence, He rests a lot during the day, which gives me some breathing time. I've also been getting rid of items I no longer want or need. It's a long, slow process, but doing a little at a time, eventually, things get done and I get things out of the house. Are you able to get anyone in to help with chores? Do you have a local Office of Aging, Alzheimer's Association (or comparable agency) that can give you some assistance? It's important to take time for yourself every day for exercise, relaxation and decompressing. Best to you.

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Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house pretty much under control, and you are right, it’s good to let some things slide. I do a lot of gardening which isn’t very useful but it is my therapy. Having trouble with the emotional part, and doing too much thinking about what I’m going to do when he is gone. I’m about to call Hospice and inquire about their services. That’s the decision I made today. I just don’t know how to tell him that he will be on Hospice.

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Teri | @tsc | Oct 12, 2021
In reply to @cloudycarol "Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house..." + (show)
@cloudycarol

Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house pretty much under control, and you are right, it’s good to let some things slide. I do a lot of gardening which isn’t very useful but it is my therapy. Having trouble with the emotional part, and doing too much thinking about what I’m going to do when he is gone. I’m about to call Hospice and inquire about their services. That’s the decision I made today. I just don’t know how to tell him that he will be on Hospice.

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So sorry to hear that, @cloudycarol. Most people I know have had good experiences with hospice making their loved ones comfortable. My thoughts are with you.

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Mentor
Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | Oct 12, 2021
In reply to @cloudycarol "Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house..." + (show)
@cloudycarol

Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house pretty much under control, and you are right, it’s good to let some things slide. I do a lot of gardening which isn’t very useful but it is my therapy. Having trouble with the emotional part, and doing too much thinking about what I’m going to do when he is gone. I’m about to call Hospice and inquire about their services. That’s the decision I made today. I just don’t know how to tell him that he will be on Hospice.

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Hi @cloudycarol I know every state is different and I don't know where you reside, but in my state I needed a doctor's prescription for my wife to be able to receive hospice services. Once she did it was a blessing in many ways. That said, the session where her neuro-oncologist made the Rx was a tough one for sure, but also one we never, ever regretted.

Strength, Courage & Peace

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Oct 12, 2021
In reply to @cloudycarol "Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house..." + (show)
@cloudycarol

Thanks for your thoughts. I think I’ve got the practical aspects of caring for the house pretty much under control, and you are right, it’s good to let some things slide. I do a lot of gardening which isn’t very useful but it is my therapy. Having trouble with the emotional part, and doing too much thinking about what I’m going to do when he is gone. I’m about to call Hospice and inquire about their services. That’s the decision I made today. I just don’t know how to tell him that he will be on Hospice.

Jump to this post

@cloudycarol Perhaps if he understands that you need assistance to properly care for him, he will see that this makes sense. You will be more "present" for him and be in a better frame of mind. Hospice can cover many different aspects, and please, ask them how to tell him what you would like to explore. Would something like that work for you?
Ginger

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