Worst case of depression? Need help

Hello @ddeon07 You sound like you’re in a world of hurt. I’m sorry you’re going through such a gamut of symptoms and not having a clue what’s causing them.

How long have you felt these symptoms? Have you been to see a doctor for bloodwork and a physical evaluation?

@loribmt thank you.
I've been feeling this way for quite a while now. The pain is a bit mild so I haven't seen a doctor yet

@ddeon007 Based on personal experience, I'd start with my primary care physician who should be able to refer you to the appropriate doctors for help. Unfortunately, good PCP's are hard to find so it might take a lot of work to find one that will actually help and the wait could be a long one. I have found that going to Urgent Care reflects negatively on your medical record because their notes in Epic might not reflect the actual conversation and they most likely will ask you why did you go there for this. I am sorry I cannot offer better advice. I hope someone on the website can. I am thinking good thoughts for you and please keep us posted and reach out whenever you need to. Everyone on this site is here to help.

Hi @ddeon07 Even though your pain is mild, you’re feeling “not yourself” and it doesn’t seem like this is going away. I know how heavily changes in our health can weigh on our minds. Even if we’re not consciously thinking about it 24/7, those thoughts are lurking in the background telling us that something isn’t right. And it’s easier to be complacent than to be proactive, right? Haha I’m guilty of the same thing!

Sometimes we need a little nudge to get motivated. I’m your nudge today. I really think it’s in your best interest for peace of mind and less anxiety, to schedule a visit with your primary care provider in the coming weeks. You don’t want to spend every day feeling miserable and guessing.
Do you currently have a primary care provider? (PCP)

@loribmt I don't have one. Not yet. I just wanted a personal remedy for the mean time. I know it's not wise but I could use it

@bustrbrwn22 thank you very much. It's nice to know that someone cares and understands.

@ddeon07 Depression is a fierce enemy and sometimes we need help getting through the worst of it. Tell me, were you depressed before all of your medical symptoms appeared? Because not feeling well and the resulting stress and anxiety from that happening can really take its toll on the psyche. But stress and anxiety can also cause health related issues such as what you’re experiencing. It’s a vicious circle sometimes and doesn’t take long for depressing thoughts to take over.

Do you have any outside interests or hobbies that bring you joy? Even small distractions can help give some relief from depression and negative thoughts. Oh that’s a good question, do you find yourself having a lot of negative thoughts?

Sometimes immersing yourself in activities such as walking, biking, fishing, or whatever gets you enjoying nature can help elevate a mood. Even starting out small, setting daily goals and achieving them can give us a mood booster and propel us to the next challenge.

Healthy diets of fresh foods, rich in fiber and antioxidants, good proteins, unprocessed food products, good fats and drinking lots of water can help keep us feeling healthy and blood sugars stable. Eating foods with high sugar content, lots of carbs, processed foods, sodas, junk food, etc. can trigger mood swings.

Are there any friends or family near with whom you can talk daily? Any walking buddies? I know Covid has really impacted our ability to connect with people we care about. Do you feel this pandemic has helped create some of your depression?

These are just some ideas in the meantime but you know I’m going to push for making a phone call to a nearby clinic to set up a new patient exam, right?? 😉

@loribmt good day, yes, I was before all the medical issues. I do have interests and these ones just suck me right in cause I seem to hide from reality. Games and movies. I'll try eating and drinking healthy. I don't eat much but I take in energy drinks with a sharp taste (non alcoholic though) which end up making my abdomen hurt but I repeat it again anyway cause it helps me think
I don't have such friends, the ones I have just keep talking about themselves. The few I opened up to either think I'm too toxic or they don't understand. There's no help from anyone in short.
I do have negative thoughts I'll say. Just constant self-loathing, anger and restraint. As such I am as socially awkward as it comes.

Oh, we can sure be our own worst enemies can’t we? The negative self-talk and self-loathing are exhausting. It’s easy to get stuck in ruts or habits that are so toxic to ourselves. I’ve been there… It took me getting to a really low point in life to decide to make permanent changes in my attitude. But I had to be willing to change before that could happen.
It is doable and takes a lot of practice until being positive becomes the new way of life.
The fact that you reached out to Connect shows me you’re wanting to make some changes in your life, am I guessing right?

You caught my attention with the energy drinks! How many do you have daily? I have to admit that for about 3 years, I’d have a can of Bing energy drink every afternoon. I never thought it was that big of a deal, it was a cherry health drink. LOL. Nope, never realized the super high caffeine in the fine print. So, I know exactly what you mean about helping you think! Boing!! Definitely sharpened my focus!!
But wow, there was a downside! If I was late having my afternoon fix, I’d get horrid headaches, mood swings, heart felt like it was skipping beats, jittery. This has me wondering about some of the symptoms you’re experiencing.
I’m not suggesting you quit but if you do, make sure you taper off incrementally. It’s painful going off cold turkey. But maybe consider cutting down on a little. Especially since it bothers your stomach. Energy drinks can also leave you dehydrated because they act as a diuretic. So try increasing your water intake to rehydrate!

What would happen if you changed up your routine a little? There’s nothing wrong with gaming and movies. I’m guilty of binge watching movies or TV series too, but I’m usually doing something else at the same time like sketch and painting, knitting, crossword puzzles, etc..
What if you took a walk before you sat down to start a movie or new level. In a game? They can become the reward for walking a half hour and you’ll feel less guilty! Do that enough and walking will become a daily habit.

Have you considered joining a gym? Sometimes that can be a real self-motivator to make some positive changes. Exercising and endorphins are huge in building up our health and good positive image.
I know you feel socially awkward about yourself but honestly, having a better mental image and being proactive will go a very long way in helping to get you out of this slump!

I found a couple sites that might be good exercises to jumpstart your mind in the right direction or at least give you something to consider.

– Stop Negative Thoughts Exercise:
https://anxietycontrolcenter.com/stop-negative-thoughts-exercise/
– 6 Tips to Change Negative Thinking:
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-change-negative-thinking-3024843

Can you tell me 2 things you like about yourself?

@loribmt I take the drink at night cause I love the peace and quiet. It keeps me awake for too long and when I get to sleep I find it very difficult to wake up mentally and physically. I could barely walk or see anything clearly for the first few hours of waking up, I'd have some palpitations, stomach aches and feeling very cold and weak. Well actually the weakness begins in my sleep as I sometimes groan in my sleep. I wake up very late too so my day is mostly over ruined, unproductive. I don't stay at home because of all thr judgy little eyes I'll be receiving from all around so I walk to a friend's. Walking there is a must so I do not think I made any efforts really cause I literally have no other choice. On getting to my friend's place I just plug in my laptop and play games till it's night and time to go back home. The cycle repeats and continues.
I'll look up your links anyway. Thanks a lot.
2 things I like about myself, weirdly I love that I'm this alone cause I wouldn't have to waste anyone's time and also I love that I have hope.