Depressed caregiver

Posted by deek15redpeppers @deek15redpeppers, Jul 17, 2021

My spouse has metastatic kidney cancer which they don't think will end her life, lots of comorbidities and is disabled. Most recently she has severe sternal pain from a fracture, so is mostly housebound. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and am really down. Deek

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yeah we cry over movies too. sorry you mis her so much, but nice that you have good memories.

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@bodega

Gads, the replies are entirely excellent! I am grateful I am able to read them.

I have secondary progressive MS, RA and adrenal insufficiency, all being "treated" currently. I,too, am able to totter around and mostly do a good job on the "house work"...but I am not as strong or fast as I was even a year ago so it seems I am very slow, an entirely correct assumption.

Being a reader I reread books and articles and relook at art work, relisten to music of Europe and the Americas and lots of Buddhist music. Many times I wish I could speak the languages of the Asian countries as I listen to the meaning of their songs and cannot appreciate the subtilities. I was not raised in the USA even though my parents are Caucasians and were born and raised in northern CA.; I do read and write English and was never encouraged to learn Mandarin or Tagalog. I can and do spend time thinking of the feelings the music I don't understand directs me toward. I do not mind if my "room mate" cannot share any of this. Each of us in the end cannot go with anyone to our final destination...they can only share part of the ride. I appreciate that very much.

I think after years of this sort living and thinking there is no one who can share our experience except to share it tangentially. That's o.k. as we can still share movies, our thoughts and things we see.

I hope this look into another person's life with incurable, painful and unrelenting disease is helpful. We must never think our life was or is unappreciated or a failre. It was not and is not.

Nemaste, Bodega

We do truly live in a gorgeous world especially at dawn and sundown. Our family is precious even if they live a thousand plus miles away. . We live and that is precious beyond belief. I pray I die in my sleep.

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Hello @bodega. I'd like to extend a warm welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect and also thank you for joining this discussion to share your experience and perspective. Members like @lizzier and @deek15redpeppers are coming at this from the caregiver perspective, however, it is great to also get the other side of this journey.

Has your caregiver struggled with depression like others in this discussion?

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