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Dealing with verbal abuse: Any suggestions?

Caregivers | Last Active: Sep 15, 2023 | Replies (41)

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@nrocpop

I do have a therapist that I like. I was just hoping to talk to others that have been through this. I am belittled, mocked, put down, etc most of the day every day beginning at 5:30am. I am very good at behaving patiently despite it all but it really wears me out

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Replies to "I do have a therapist that I like. I was just hoping to talk to others..."

I can really relate to what you are dealing with. All my husband does is yell at me all the time. He has dementia, sleep apnea, diabetic neuropathy in both feet, and degenerative disc disease in his pain plus OCD! I know he is in pain but that is no reason to take it out on me. I am worn out emotionally and physically from his constant yelling and accusing me if he can't find something. It I am on the phone he resents it since I am not giving him all my attention. I have health problems too but that does not matter since it is all him. He is 77 and I am 76. This is no way to enjoy your senior years. We have no family so and he has no friends so, of course, he takes everything out on me.

You did not say whether he has been this way in the past, a lot, once in a while or if this is a change in his attitude. I know this comes about when a man starts into dementia. I have a neighbor who is going through this at the same time as my husband and we do share enough to know this is true. It also happened with my uncle and so i happened to know about it. We know they can't always control it, i think something in their brain is going so interaction with others begin a change. When i began to notice i reported it to his primary and she assigned him to a gerontologist which changed some of his meds, even ones sold without prescription and it has helped somewhat. He ended up upset with his primary for sending him to this other doctor. They are both women and i doubt he would do this with a male. I used to teach middle school and i realized a lot of the ways i dealt with them works with him but I had to change my way of thinking about him, I was a caretaker now for a person that has a mental illness that no one can stop. And his anger can be managed to a point. Quietly use your cell phone to record when possible. I have a little more in ideas but I will close for now.