Problems with adult children

The husband (now deceased) of a friend went through silence periods with one daughter, the biggest being about 5 years! He did pay for her college despite that, but she remained bitter. He was on depression meds, and probably resisted more or they weren't working. Keeping a line of communication open is hard but necessary

All still keep some communication with the children. My youngest recently broke the silence. I'm glad I have him. I'm trying to keep busy. One person said you can only knock on doors so many times. It's hard to keep my mind off them, but it doesn't always work.

I meant to say that my husband keeps some communication with them.

It's been painful for my son who since his divorce his daughter refuses to communicate with him. Her graduation from high school is soon and he is not invited to the ceremony. For a mother this is very hard to take. There is hardly any communication between me and my granddaughter as well. I'm wondering what it will take to have her come around.

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. I wish I had some advice. Write letters is the only thing I know of.

I have a similar situation with my 15 yr old granddaughter. Her mother died when she was 3 1/2. I was babysitting her at the tiime. My belief is that she somehow associates me with the loss of her mother. My son remarried when this child was 5. She's had a loving mother for the last 10 years, but she remains unreachable to me.

I am so sorry for your situation with your children. My only child lives with his wife about 7 hours away from me. His in-laws live nearby, so they spend all holidays with them. I go to visit when I'm able, but I've had several health issues that make travel difficult. My grandchidren barely know me. I hate holidays. Everyone I know is happy about being with out-of-town family. I just pray for January 2 to come quickly while I stay home and cry most days.

I, too, have been cut off from contact with one daughter because we financially helped her sister during a divorce. There are also 2 grandkids involved whom we don’t see as well. In my opinion, the estranged daughter should be counting her blessings that she’s not the one in need. I may get some grief counseling. Estrangement seems a form of death to me.

I agree with you. It was only recently that I realized I was grieving as though someone had died. For me, it comes with a lot of guilt because I feel like I failed my children and I feel like that my daughter is accusing me of the same things I resented in my parents.

Grief counseling would be a good thing. Right now, I have started reading a book, "When Parents Hurt" which describes my situation pretty much on the spot. The bookencourages self compassion which I am trying to get my head around. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

It is so hard for parents and grand parents. After my sister died, my parents could not keep in touch with her children. It was only when the youngest was getting married that my other sister and I were invited to the wedding. I wish that children would realize that we only have people in our lives for a short time.