Feel paralyzed by my sadness and depression

Posted by southcarolinagirl @southcarolinagirl, Feb 7, 2021

I feel so sad and depressed that I am physically paralyzed. I can’t seem to think straight or move myself to do anything. I am so lonely. I live with my disabled husband and he is a couch potato with no ambition except to eat, play on iPad and watch tv. I feel worthless as I grew up in a loveless home. I can’t seem to overcome anything today. Where do I begin? What can I do as a second step? Writing this is my first step.

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@dorisena

It is important to distinguish between stress that is related to medical conditions such as being in a wheelchair or being physically ill and conditions that are related to selfishness, ignorance, meanness, and such to the point of abuse of a spouse. One can be tolerated with medication and the other requires positive action to protect the health of the abused. I chose to stay in a broken marriage for fifty years and survived the problem and have been successfully healing for fifteen years. But the journey is very long to find peace late in life. It was a choice for me and I used little medication to cope. I think when my spouse was ill and we knew he would not live long, I chose to stay "on the job" because I couldn't abandon another human being with no care and he couldn't care very well for himself. It is a choice in life.
My consequences have been good in the end. It is the pandemic that makes me so lonely. Dorisena

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@dorisena Do you find your area starting to open up a bit, easing some of the Covid restrictions? While I am vaccinated, I continue to mask up and maintain social distancing. Each of our counties are assigned risk evaluations. Having some health issues to protect, I still need to get out. What do you have on your list to participate in when you decide to mingle a bit? What do you miss the most?
Ginger

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@gingerw

@dorisena Do you find your area starting to open up a bit, easing some of the Covid restrictions? While I am vaccinated, I continue to mask up and maintain social distancing. Each of our counties are assigned risk evaluations. Having some health issues to protect, I still need to get out. What do you have on your list to participate in when you decide to mingle a bit? What do you miss the most?
Ginger

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No, I do not go places because wearing a mask makes breathing difficult. I have had a light case of the virus at Christmas my family brought to me and had a moniclonal antibody IV infusion at that time so I don't consider myself a risk factor in any way. My diabetes blood sugar is 95-98 in the morning. I don't plan to have a vaccine in the near future because the infusion is supposed to be doing its job. I prefer to stay home on the farm except for going to church to practice the piano and organ so I can play in the near future. We are having regular services with safety procedures. I am not comfortable with the news about the issues and the advice, so I just stay home. I miss having people care enough to call or email me and I miss my old friends whom I have outlived. Once in a while my grandaughter picks up dinner for us and we eat here at home. I miss some of my volunteering from the past but had given up much of it before the pandemic. I never had time for social mingling anyway. I am a country girl. Dorisena

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