social anxiety with strangers, my own family

Posted by brenbren @brenbren, Aug 24, 2011

Is there anyone who has this issue?? Here is my problem...

My voice gets shakey, heart pounds, chest feels heavy and I get dizzy when I socialize with others. This happens alot to me, does not matter if it is a total stranger or my own family who I am very close to. I tell myself that I have no reason to feel nervous, ask myself.. what's the problem and try to pep talk myself into being calm, but it doesn't work. I do not feel depressed, or sad or unhappy. I like myself and feel good about who I am and where I am in my life, I enjoy the company of others, like crowds of people. So what the heck is my problem? I hate this feeling, my Mother had anxiety issues, and I have two sisters who have very similar issues. I also have a stepbrother and a niece who are bipolar.

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I deal with anxiety, social anxiety issues as well and it is so debilitating sometimes as it is totally unpredictable. I suggest you see a doctor about your symptoms. There is medication treatment and also therapy that can supplement the medication. What I understand through articles is that anxiety of any form can be genetic, learned, situational, or combination of. It is exhausting and tiresome. If you are on this site, you probably agree with me. I have gotten some relief with medication and will start therapy to help supplement as well. Best of luck.

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Yes, lots of similarities. I have had these kind of panic attacks since I was 15 from what I can remember. I don't get them all the time but they are when I am talking with someone I don't talk to face to face on a regular basis and the worst is trying to speak in front of a group. Three or more people is shear terror... I literally can't speak. My mother had anxiety issues too. I think it is mostly hereditary if not all. I have tried counseling which has helped me process alot of difficulties in my life but not really helped with panic atttacks. I have to take meds at times for work situations. I don't know about you but for some reason I start to think about me and take my focus off of what the other person is saying it tends to hit.

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I too have problems in front of groups of people. I too like being around people but can't seem to follow the conversation often times and my brain freezes and don't know what to say, it is very embarrasing. The anti depressant effexor seems to help, maybe that is something that might help you as well.

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I don't have any medical proof to back up what I say, but I think what you describe is fairly common - most just wouldn't admit it. Everyone to some degree, experiences a level of nervousness and anxiety in social situations. Public Speaking is the number one 'fear' and cause of anxiety next to divorce and dealing with the death of a loved one. I have a severe case of this kind of nervousness and it doesn't even have to be because I'm in a conversation with someone; sometimes, it's my own thoughts that make me feel nervous, shakey, uncomfortable. lol but not necessarily in a bad way. 🙂 I constantly have "butterflies" in and out of my stomach just because of a passing thought. And if I'm in a group - family or strangers - the butterflies completely take over and I have to fight them. Not sure it's related, but I've had an underactive thyroid for 30 years and as far back as I can remember, have always felt nervous, intimidated easily by others, 'afraid' to say anything outloud, etc. Everything I've accomplished to date, has been out of sheer determination and because I know I'm just as good as anyone else around me. I deserve the same happiness, success, etc., I just have to work a little bit harder than some. The only person that can stop me, is me. There is always the option of taking a pill to relax the nerves but I think it's important to find other ways of accepting these feelings, embracing them, understanding where they come from, etc., whatever it takes, and medication only as a last resort. How do we know how much is normal? and if it isn't doing any damage, it's probably best not to take pills because then you might have to deal with side effects that aren't worth it. I think we have to trust and believe in ourselves. 🙂

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I understand what you are going through although this happened to me when I had to do any public speaking. Even group of 5 or 6 would cause the symptoms you describe. I also have a pretty healthy self esteem and positive outlook but public speaking terrified me.I tried relaxation techniques, public speaking tapes etc. Nothing helped. I almost dropped college courses because of it.
A friend of mine told me she had the same problem with test anxiety and her dr prescribed a beta blocker called Inderal. Inderal is a cardiac med that slows your heart rate a bit. I asked my Gp if I could safely try it. she gave me 10 to 15 mg before my speech and it was a miracle for me. in fact it went so well I actually was asked by a classmate if I was a professional speaker! I only take the Inderal when I have to do a speech and the last few times I haven,t taken it at all!!
I did not feel groggy or lightheaded on the Inderal. It just prevents your heart from pounding at 100 miles an hour and stops your hands and voice from shaking. I don't know if it is an option for you but ask your dr. I also stress that I only use it prior to public speaking. Best of luck to you

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I understand what you are going through although this happened to me when I had to do any public speaking. Even group of 5 or 6 would cause the symptoms you describe. I also have a pretty healthy self esteem and positive outlook but public speaking terrified me.I tried relaxation techniques, public speaking tapes etc. Nothing helped. I almost dropped college courses because of it.
A friend of mine told me she had the same problem with test anxiety and her dr prescribed a beta blocker called Inderal. Inderal is a cardiac med that slows your heart rate a bit. I asked my Gp if I could safely try it. she gave me 10 to 15 mg before my speech and it was a miracle for me. in fact it went so well I actually was asked by a classmate if I was a professional speaker! I only take the Inderal when I have to do a speech and the last few times I haven,t taken it at all!!
I did not feel groggy or lightheaded on the Inderal. It just prevents your heart from pounding at 100 miles an hour and stops your hands and voice from shaking. I don't know if it is an option for you but ask your dr. I also stress that I only use it prior to public speaking. Best of luck to you

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hello brenbren, i too have similar ailments. My mom and grandma passed it on to me. I also don't like this feeling.............going to the restaurant or other area of possible social contact is a struggle. What I do is get a booth at a restaurant, chances are less people to keep you stressed. Open areas with tables or the bar are doomsday for me. In order to get over my social phobias I will force myself to accept it. nobody is perfect, even though the outside world seems like they are having fun, they too have other issues, problems of their own; finances, relations, health, family tragedy...etc... I pray these words help you in some manner.

Good Luck!!

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hello. I understand what you are going through. I have this issue since like forever. till now I still don't know how to overcome it. I have no job, no friend, everyday I only spend my time in my room and the only person that I talk to is myself. going out and meet people suffocate me.

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i feel the same way and i tell my self the same thing u tell your self ,i just don't know what to do i hate it cause i have my 2 little kids who everytime it start on me i feel like i'll now die and leave them alone and that's my worst fear.

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@rachomin

i feel the same way and i tell my self the same thing u tell your self ,i just don't know what to do i hate it cause i have my 2 little kids who everytime it start on me i feel like i'll now die and leave them alone and that's my worst fear.

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hi me again try not to be scared You'll be okay. Nothing will happen.

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