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anti society personality
my college daughter has continued to steal and lie for years and now i know she has this disorder. i am so concerned on how to deal w this. I fear she will land in jail due to her symptoms and her inability to realize how out of control her life really is. I feel responsible for baling her out time and time again, instead of looking at the real reason she continues doing the same things over and over again.
I have placed a call with my psychologist to discuss her and mine relationship.
Have any of you experienced this? If you have, would you please let me know how you dealt with it.
thank you,
mary jo
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I'll tell you this honestly, be wary of labels that are put on people. Read Thomas Tsasz 's book "The Myth of Mental Illness". It speaks about looking closely at why people behave badly, and in his view not only is it NOT mental illness, but there is no such thing. He speaks about behaviour and the problems with medicating bad behaviour.
mary jo...sorry to hear what you're going thru. For several years I dealt with my daughter with bipolar/borderline personality. It is just as hard for the parent. I used to help my daughter out with her finances as she couldn't manage money. She would get manic and I would feel bad for her. It was until I finally realized she could get help if she really wanted it. She moved out of state and 3 years ago and until about 6 months ago I had to let her make her mistakes and learn from them...as difficult as it was. I've had complications for almost 2 years with nonepileptic seizures and now I don't allow her to stress me out. She knows if she makes a mistake I'm not going to be there to pick her up. Hope this helps...I'll be praying for you.
I am a recovering alcoholic proud to say sober for 35 years. I also suffer from depression and manic behavior (bi-polar). I am not fond of labels, it seems too easy to place a label, and here are some meds and life goes on. No, we are more complex than that. My alcoholism lead me to AA, which in turn teaches me how to live more than just dealing with not drinking. I am not a person that pushes religion as an answer either, but I know that I am powerless over alcohol. I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis, and also take medication everyday for my bi-polar disorder. I like the word "malady" rather than "disease" to explain alcoholism. Malady better describes a condition that if afflicted .... effects our mind, our body and our spirit. How does this relate to your daughter you might ask? Well, I believe that like me she has a condition she and you are powerless over. And, we have to find a power greater than ourselves to focus in on. I am confident that a 12 step program would help your daughter, and help you let go to attain recovery and serenity. I wish I could direct your daughter to specific group, but I am confident there is one for her. This recovery will still depend on whether she is willing to surrender, and admit that she is in fact powerless over her unacceptable behavior. What I do know is that there is always hope. Best wishes and if you would like please write anytime. Best wishes to you and your daughter always!
Dear Mary jo,
I am dealing with samething with my daughter , only she has a two year old daughter who I am trying to protect. My daughter not only steals and lies but, is very violent.I am a prisoner in my home. I have to stay awake and make sure she doesn't hurt her brother and sisters who are all young adults, she threw boiling water at her brother the other night. I know people tell me to kick her out and the baby will have to go because she is hers, but, how do let my grand-daughter go if she could be harmed? I have been attacked and treated so bad by her for the last 6 years,sometimes its hard to breathe. I guess why i'm telling you this is get your daughter treatment now before she has a child to control you with and you end up where I am.
I hope you find help.
Mary Jo, I also have a son who has done all of the things your daughter has done to you, he just "celebrated" his 31st birthday in prison.....he has/had a prescription pill addiction for yrs., I litterly feard for my life on several occasions while he was growing up......he has been in and out of jail numerours times.....he has 3 boys by 3 different women.....his oldest boy (11) was just diagnosed with "Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)....while I was reading the symtoms, they all fit my son's life. we just found out today about my grandsons ODD, and will be pursuing all avenues to make sure my grandson does not end up like my son.......I have tried to get my son help in prison, they really don't like "mommy" calling for her little boy.....will keep you update on my grandson if you want......I will keep you in my prayers, my heart goes out to you I REALLY do know what your are going thru.
I agree that labels can be harmful, but to say that mental illness is a myth is uniformed and dangerous. This is a radical view, and this book has been recommended by Scientologists, which is a group who reviles any type of mental health treatment.