Isolation and depression: Scared of the coming winter

Posted by jamsie @jamsie, Aug 22, 2020

I am in my 60's and have suffered with depression and anxiety for many years. I find myself unable to cope with the loneliness that has come with COVID. Although married, it is one of convenience, and there is no help from my husband in that regard, or for that matter, in most everything. I have also gained about 25 pounds during this time and my self esteem is at a low. I eat and eat and am never full. I quilt and hand sew for hobbies, but have now lost the interaction of those friends due to COVID. I am scared to death of what a Minnesota winter will bring. I need someone to talk to.

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@jamsie

I finally emailed his office this afternoon, so hope to hear from him tomorrow. It is a hard step for me. Thank you Ginger for your encouraging and kind words!

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@jamsie, well done. I know it was a hard step. You did it. You. Did. It.
And I'm confident you can take the next step too.

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@jamsie

I promise to let you all know what happens when I hear from him tomorrow. THank you for your prayers!

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My dear friends, I have heard from my email to my primary doctor, and he simply said he forwarded my email to the mental health services. I live in a rural area that has no in house specialists, so I will have to get on a list for e-visits. Hopefully it won't take too long.

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@colleenyoung

@jamsie, well done. I know it was a hard step. You did it. You. Did. It.
And I'm confident you can take the next step too.

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Thank you for your faith in me!

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@jamsie

I have been journaling off and on during my whole marriage and it reads like a broken record, but even so, it is still helpful to put pen to paper instead of saying something I would later regret. A gratitude journal is a very good idea, and I also have seen that as one way of helping myself. I am not a religious person, but that is something I envy in people I know are, as they seem happier and cope better by "handing it over to God". I need reminders of these things, so thank you.

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I understand where you are coming from dreading winter, being depressed, not communicating to well with your husband. I just want to say to you concerning religion: When I was very little, we went to church. I heard the word. The only thing is I knew the right way to live but didn't abide by it. Yes, the people who accept Jesus into their hearts and are saved know they will have a home in Heaven when they die. It is a place where there are no tears, no pain. It is a place where nothing but love abides. If you knew in your heart that you have a choice between living in paradise or living in hell, which would you choose? As an older adult I was baptized and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I do choose a city of love. When you read the Bible, I believe reading the New Testament is like being with Jesus. My Bible has his words in red. I love reading the Proverbs. I have a hard time concentrating so I don't read long periods of time. I like to read a Bible program off the computer. I love the Guideposts. It is short stories and they relate to every problem in life: depression, alcoholism, abuse, you name it, everyday problems people have. Did you ever get the magazine Reminisce? It's a good magazine. It talks about the 50's, 60's, 70's, etc. I had a subscription to it and so did my sister. My sisters were both very religious and such wonderful people. I could call either one of them and just talk. One of the died two years ago and one died last year. My best friend died the year before my sister--there went all my friends. Now I feel so alone. I have a husband but we seem to share a house. We have separate rooms, separate TV's. We do eat together most of the time, that's it. He goes to the store and gets all the groceries, goes after incidentals a lot. So, I am alone. My kids do not come. My grandkids used to come once in a while before the virus but they don't come anymore. I look at pictures sometimes. I lost a son to brain cancer and a daughter to chemical addiction. I have sleep apnea and woke myself up at three o'clock (am). I got out of bed and got on the computer. My husband is sleeping away in his room. We have two dogs and one isn't going to be with us very much longer. She is a darling shihtzu and sleeps in his room. Her son sleeps under my bed. They are the only ones who I talk to and are here for me. Joey will be ten in a couple of months. We don't know how old Gracie is because we got her from the dog pound. I hope you can understand my middle-of-the night rambling. I just want you to know there are so many depressed people in this world. I take the tests and my comes out clinically depressed. I have sleep apnea and cannot wear the mask because of the deviated septum I have. So, sometimes, like tonight, I wake myself up choking. It scares me so I get up. I never get enough sleep. I am like a walking zombie. I need back surgery and I don't ever want to get it. Pain goes down my leg into my foot. A lady I know who calls me about twice a year called me tonight to tell me her dog died and her old boyfriend had to have his leg amputated. I could have done without that phone call. DEPRESSING! Anytime you want to talk, just message me. God bless you.

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@marjou

@jamsie I thought I was reading about me when I read your post! I was married for 18 years and my ex was less than sympathetic even after I was hospitalized. In fact he told me " your the sick one"! So eventually I got the courage to divorce him. I still suffer from depression every day on what seems to me a grand scale. Every day I wake up and feel the same...no joy, no motivation, at times lack of sleep, and eat to have something to do or side effects from various psych meds that haven't worked in my case. Along with already self isolation prior to COVID this virus has made all my symptoms worse.
I'm not a fan of Facebook and most of current technology like Zoom, but forced myself to try one or two of these avenue to try and keep in touch with people. It's definitely a challenge and still not a fan but am trying something. I try to write in my journal to get negative thoughts out, but just found out about art journaling (a kind of collage)and bought a few art supplies to try this out. I have no grand expectations, but some time to focus on something better. Glad you posted here. Hope I've been of some help.

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Hi, could you tell me about art journaling please? It sounds interesting. I wish that we who suffer from depression could actually get together and have a friends club. People need people. Thanks for the idea.

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Coleen, your statement about the elephant reminded me of something my sister-in-law wrote to me: Life is a cinch by the inch but hard by the yard.

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You can feel free to talk to me or my wife anytime you need someone to talk to or text , whatever way you prefer. Send me a message today how we can talk. I don’t know if this site allows us to leave personal contact information.
If so , text Terry. Terry is my wife. And I am Al.

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@jamsie

My dear friends, I have heard from my email to my primary doctor, and he simply said he forwarded my email to the mental health services. I live in a rural area that has no in house specialists, so I will have to get on a list for e-visits. Hopefully it won't take too long.

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Bravo for your courage👏

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@woogie It looks like collage. If you look under YouTube or Facebook under Art Journal for Beginners there are different ways of starting.

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@al4terry

You can feel free to talk to me or my wife anytime you need someone to talk to or text , whatever way you prefer. Send me a message today how we can talk. I don’t know if this site allows us to leave personal contact information.
If so , text Terry. Terry is my wife. And I am Al.

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Hi @al4terry, to keep our members safe from spam and hacking, try to limit personal information that is shared over public platforms. If you or your wife would like to connect with other members, please feel free to send them a private message. You can do so by clicking the members name and under their description is says "send a private message". Thank you for understanding.

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