update. I have started moving on to projects to do. To keep myself busy. My boss told me I will now permanently work from home. So my new project is to set up a nice office space in a spare bedroom. Its going to be more in my eyes. It will be a retreat for myself. Am I running away tho?
He didn't like the colors I picked out- I said nothing just continued. I am going to refinish my moms old desk also. Knowing whatever I decide to do to it he will find something wrong with it. It's a horrible life never ever being complimented on anything I do.
Then I feel selfish.
In September he will have another scan. Sometime in October he will have a lung biopsy. That is going to help a lot knowing for sure if the lesions are scars or if the cancer is still there trapped inside.
I tell myself so many people have it so much worse. But it is getting harder to be positive after 7 years of this. I'm exhausted, but my doctor prescribed thanks to xanax at bedtime i am able to & sleep at least.