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rcb1975 (@rcb1975)

When will I ever be happy?

Loss & Grief | Last Active: May 6, 2020 | Replies (14)

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@hopeful33250

Hello @rcb1975, I'd like to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

I am sorry for the losses you have experienced. It certainly is true that one loss can bring up the grief from a previous loss. The unexpected loss of your beloved cat might have brought up feelings of grief from the unexpected loss of your brother.

I wonder as Colleen (@colleenyoung) does if you have attended grief counseling workshops, grief groups or one-on-one grief counseling. The unexpected loss of your brother when you were a preteen is very difficult. I have a family member who at age 16, lost two brothers in a tragic accident. Her brothers were preteens at the time and the family just never recovered from it.

There are grief groups for the loss of family members. Even though it has been 30 years since you lost your brother, a grief group to attend regarding that loss might still be very helpful. Right now, most grief groups are all online (using Zoom, Facebook, or another online method). I would encourage you to look into this and find something that might be helpful to you right now.

Also, I would encourage you to keep a journal. Even just writing a sentence or two each day about your brother, then about your beloved cat, might be very helpful to you. Will you give these ideas a try?

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Replies to "Hello @rcb1975, I'd like to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am sorry for..."

Hi again @rcb1975. Yes, I agree with Colleen and Teresa that counseling might help. I lost my mom to suicide at age 69. And I have gone to counseling for that event, plus the event of my first husbands death. Forgot to tell you a best friend who was only 18 was also killed with my husband who was 20. Just wanted to let you know if you haven't been to counseling it does help you through the sadness you feel. Life is really the pits sometimes.

Hi @hopeful33250 . That is very sad about your family member's loss. I feel for them. As mentioned in my reply to @colleenyoung , I have not been able to find a group or grief counselor although that is what I've been hoping to find. I have started journaling in the past but did not really keep it going. Think I'll give it another go. I'm not sure how I stumbled upon this group…was googling support for depression and found this forum and although there is a group for depression and anxiety, I felt like this group for grief is what I need. Thanks for sharing and for your words of encouragement.