Husband (43) showing signs of Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI): Anyone?

Posted by uncertainsoyoung @uncertainsoyoung, Apr 7, 2020

He can't remember names of people he knows, not people super close to us but lots of whats his name etc. this happens daily and he mixes up words like calling the colander a cauldron and aluminum foil / styrofoam. He had a MRI during an emergency visit to ER blood pressure 247/145...in December that resulted in a week in hospital doing tests. The ER doc told us he had a "rare brain disease" because of the plaque on his brain but the neurologist told us he didn't , that he thought there was an injury in the womb and his brain has always looked that way. In the hospital I picked up a pamphlet on signs of Alzheimer's and it scared me because I realized how many of these signs he had been exhibiting for the past 6months to a year who knows. Since we have been getting the BP better regulated he still has memory loss and mood swings and I have been concerned about his depth perception and driving for some time. Recently I noticed he dumps alot of salad dressing or condiments on his food like he doesn't notice it is covered. I feel like he notices there are changes but does not want to face it at all. His family says he is not the same person but they think/hope it is just alchohol consumption which thankfully he just quit. With the pandemic we wont be able to see our PCP in person for sometime. Our 8 year old is worried I know. It is hard to talk to him about what I see and I need help and support navigating talking to him and our very bright daughter. Does anyone have a loved one this young with MCI?

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Yes. Our regular doc and I communicate through my health , we finally got that set up this month. With the neurologist that was the most frustrating piece. I had sent him numerous messages and called before this visit to share concerns and he was not going to even address me or any of this, had I not gotten irate. This was just too much. Our daughter knows something is not right of course. “Why does dad always get his way? Is it sexism?” Lol she’s a smart one. “Why don’t you argue with him anymore?” I have told her yes something is going on with dad, he is not able to communicate as well and it’s not because he wants to be mean.. I’m not sure he can help it. His mom visited recently and confirmed the changes and our doctor referred to the damage that has been done in a message so I am ready to tell our daughter that he has some cognitive impairment and we are hoping he can heal from it but hopefully this will lend itself to a discussion of why there’s no use fighting with him and not to egg him on or mess with him. Ideas needed please???? Also the neurologist is the one we saw briefly in the hospital 7 months ago. My husband has plaques On the front of his brain. The ER doc that sent us to hospital in SF was in a state of alarm at what he saw. He thought it was Amyloid. The neurologist in SF at that time said, no his brain has always looked like this. 7 months later he says your fine without responding to me or acknowledging me. He also “mentioned” that usually damage from BP shows up on the back of the brain. Isn’t there clearly some factors and exploration missing here? I have been seeing symptoms for well over a year and his BP has been under control for 7 months , mostly. Except when he tried to cut meds and didn’t monitor didn’t tell me cause my dad just past and it spiked high. What do folks think about this neurologist, seemed like he did not care nor did not take the time to know my husbands case. He told us most people don’t take patients outside of the city... I guess we should be grateful for some half assed care and he actually caused harm because my husband is in denial and now he is like “this amazing smart neurologist says I’m fine.”

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@uncertainsoyoung - Does your husband's PCP notice a difference? It sounds as if you are doing everything you can - but you need some support. Getting a therapist for myself has been a godsend for me. Do you have a counselor or therapist?

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@debbraw

@uncertainsoyoung - Does your husband's PCP notice a difference? It sounds as if you are doing everything you can - but you need some support. Getting a therapist for myself has been a godsend for me. Do you have a counselor or therapist?

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Yes I have a counselor who is great. Amy recommendations for online support for kids?

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@uncertainsoyoung

Yes I have a counselor who is great. Amy recommendations for online support for kids?

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Here are some resources about talking to kids and teenagers about early-onset dementia or young onset dementia of a parent. Your daughter seems to be wise beyond her years, so I included some info for teems too. Please let me know if you find one or more of the resources particularly useful.

- Telling Children https://www.youngdementiauk.org/telling-
- Helping Children https://alzheimer.ca/en/Home/Living-with-dementia/Staying-connected/Helping-children
- Just for Kids https://alzheimer.ca/sites/default/files/files/national/focus-brochures/just%20for%20kids-en-final-md.pdf
- Helping Teens https://alzheimer.ca/en/Home/Living-with-dementia/Staying-connected/Helping-teens
- Young Carers Project https://youngcarersproject.wordpress.com/

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Thank you very much for these resources!

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@uncertainsoyoung

Thank you very much for these resources!

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I think it would be good to have a neurologist do a comprehensive examination and diagnosis to exclude the possibility that it is a treatable form of dementia. It's possible that it is a form of dementia that is reversible. Then a treatment program to correct the condition can start. If it turns out to be a form of irreversible dementia, then an appropriate treatment plan can be made for that situation.

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@fwentz

I think it would be good to have a neurologist do a comprehensive examination and diagnosis to exclude the possibility that it is a treatable form of dementia. It's possible that it is a form of dementia that is reversible. Then a treatment program to correct the condition can start. If it turns out to be a form of irreversible dementia, then an appropriate treatment plan can be made for that situation.

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Yes, exactly. I am working on getting a reliable neurologist now.

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@uncertainsoyoung

Yes, exactly. I am working on getting a reliable neurologist now.

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@uncertainsoyoung, as you continue your search for a care provider, you might find this information about reversible dementia causes of use.
- Common causes of reversible dementias: https://alzheimer.ca/en/Home/About-dementia/Dementias/Reversible-dementias

@fwentz, did you have experience with misdiagnosed dementia?

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@colleenyoung

@uncertainsoyoung, as you continue your search for a care provider, you might find this information about reversible dementia causes of use.
- Common causes of reversible dementias: https://alzheimer.ca/en/Home/About-dementia/Dementias/Reversible-dementias

@fwentz, did you have experience with misdiagnosed dementia?

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I have learned a lot about dementia over the past 8 years. My wife was diagnosed with alzheimer's disease in 2012. We had a bad experience with the first neurologist in our small city. He seemed to be casual and unhelpful. We then found a really good neurologist locally who specializes in Memory and Cognitive Disorders Neurology. I learned there can be a big difference between a good and "poor" neurologist in terms of help for both the patient and for the caregiver. Our current neurologist has been good for my wife and also has been of great help to me.

For the past 5 years I've belonged to a men's only caregivers support group that meets monthly. I've also attended many, many Alzheimer's Association classes. From reading books (including Guide to Alzheimer's Disease and On Alzheimer's Disease, both from the Mayo Clinic), taking the classes, and listening to the experiences of the men in the support group, I learned how important it is to get a good diagnosis of the situation as early as possible in order to be in the best position to deal with it effectively. This is best for both the patient and the caregiver.

My wife and I have had 8 good years since her diagnosis (although it's not what we had planned for our retirement years!) We have created many "moments of joy" for her and in the process, I've enjoyed it too. She's still living at home although as her risk of falling increases we're making arrangements for a move to a memory care facility before long.

I'm brand new to this group and have already gained from it.

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@fwentz

I have learned a lot about dementia over the past 8 years. My wife was diagnosed with alzheimer's disease in 2012. We had a bad experience with the first neurologist in our small city. He seemed to be casual and unhelpful. We then found a really good neurologist locally who specializes in Memory and Cognitive Disorders Neurology. I learned there can be a big difference between a good and "poor" neurologist in terms of help for both the patient and for the caregiver. Our current neurologist has been good for my wife and also has been of great help to me.

For the past 5 years I've belonged to a men's only caregivers support group that meets monthly. I've also attended many, many Alzheimer's Association classes. From reading books (including Guide to Alzheimer's Disease and On Alzheimer's Disease, both from the Mayo Clinic), taking the classes, and listening to the experiences of the men in the support group, I learned how important it is to get a good diagnosis of the situation as early as possible in order to be in the best position to deal with it effectively. This is best for both the patient and the caregiver.

My wife and I have had 8 good years since her diagnosis (although it's not what we had planned for our retirement years!) We have created many "moments of joy" for her and in the process, I've enjoyed it too. She's still living at home although as her risk of falling increases we're making arrangements for a move to a memory care facility before long.

I'm brand new to this group and have already gained from it.

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Thank you for sharing a more positive experience. I really appreciate it. How old are you guys if you don’t mind me asking. Also can anyone recommend online therapists ? One for our 9 year old and one for marriage counseling specializing in issues surrounding dementia and changing sexuality.

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