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Colleen Young (@colleenyoung)

Are you getting cancer treatments during COVID-19?

COVID-19 | Last Active: Nov 24, 2020 | Replies (237)

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My boyfriend is receiving his blood tests and chemo infusion every 2 weeks at Kaiser Santa Clara w/out interruption during Covid 19. He’s had a kidney, spleen and part of his pancreas removed; the current chemo treatments are related to the pancreas. After he completes 3 more rounds of chemo they will be looking at surgery for the nodules on his lungs. I’m grateful that my boyfriend has a wonderful oncology team for his care. Unfortunately, his immune system is very compromised and he relies on me for grocery shopping (we don’t live together) and I work FT in a healthcare clinic. I realize my boyfriend’s situation is critical but the waiting in lines and his complaints about what I’m able to buy at the store are disheartening. Fortunately, I have a therapist I’m able to see 1 x per month, but do have times when I feel overwhelmed. Thank you for this forum where I can air my feelings.

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Replies to "My boyfriend is receiving his blood tests and chemo infusion every 2 weeks at Kaiser Santa..."

Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you. I know sometimes I don't show my husband the gratitude he deserves, going to work everyday and now offering to do the grocery shopping as well. I'm still pretty active/independent and like to do things for myself. Is there possibly a friend you might enlist to help with the shopping while you are at work? Then you could take it to him after. Or maybe you could have your boyfriend try to do an online order, like Walmart, and he would see for himself how many items keep coming up "out of stock". If you aren't out to see for yourself, it's hard to imagine how ridiculous things have gotten at the stores. You hang in there, breathe, and just do the best you can. Take care of yourself.

You are a wonderful woman taking care of your boyfriend when you did not even live together. What 's about his family? He is lucky to have you and a good oncologist. Why don't you express your feelings to him? If he loves you, he will understand and stop blaming you. If not, just let him know that as just a boyfriend you don't feel obligated to listen to his complaints and if he is not happy he should find someone else. You need to take care of yourself. We have only one life and do not have the right to waste it. Good luck.

@monroeed sounds like things are a bit tough for you now so, please don’t think you have to do everything. Your boyfriend has a long way to go and if you wear out, he’ll be high and dry. I don’t think that what he wants, or you either. I agree with @mom23boys when she said to try Walmart delivery. When you have some time, sit with him and make a list of every possible thing you can think of. Put the list on the refrigerator and he can mark things that run out. Then, get on line and put in an order with Walmart (or whatever grocery you shop at). Will you try this?

Hello @monroeed,

I noticed that your last post was some time ago and I was wondering how you and your friend were doing in dealing with his cancer diagnosis and the emotional roller coaster this has put you on. How is his treatment going? Have you been able to find enough support for yourself during this time of stress?

Hello @monroeed,

I recall that your boyfriend was being treated with chemo after his surgery in the spring. How is he doing now?

When you last posted you said you were feeling a bit overwhelmed. How you are doing?