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Ayesha, Alumni Mentor (@ayeshasharma)

Family support for LGBT children

LGBTQIA Health | Last Active: Nov 2 10:51am | Replies (22)

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I want to share this video because it's a perspective directly from a young trans man who was supported by his parents as a child. He's able to look back on his experiences and share what helped and what hurt him during his transition.

Some highlights if you don't have time to watch…
1. Research! Do some research on your child's identity (online, books, or just by talking to your kid about what they want and need)
2. Respect your child's name and pronouns (it will speak volumes!)
3. Help your child with the coming out process (but talk to them first to make sure this is something they want before doing it!)
4. More research!
5. Financial support (only if this is something you're able to do)
6. Legal and medical guidance (transitioning can be difficult and complicated. One thing you can help with is finding an trans friendly doctor for your kid)
7. Validation (believe your kid. Transitioning can be confusing, and it might seem like this identity came out of nowhere. Trust your kid and it will make them more comfortable to trust you and turn to you when they need you)

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Replies to "I want to share this video because it's a perspective directly from a young trans man..."

@ayeshasharma A great conversation starter! Thank you for starting this discussion, and posting this video. There is definitely a period of transition for family/friends/co-workers just like the young man stated. I hope to see posts here from others. Support on a journey is so important!

@ayeshasharma – This was very enlightening. He is very articulate and engaging as a speaker.

Hi there! I'm a proud mother of two trans kids. One is 19, and he just began testosterone, and the other is 14, and just had their first visit at the trans clinic. I have always been supportive of their transitions and immediately dove in to research and helping in any way I could. My oldest got bullied so badly at Mayo High School for being trans, that he decided to put the process on hold until after he was an adult. We are all so excited for all the changes he's noticing with the testosterone and are documenting every step!
My question is regarding my 14 year old. After their first visit, they are sure that they want to start taking the steps they outlined to begin testosterone as soon as possible. I think instead of asking a question, I might be seeking validation.
My boyfriend and I had the conversation about starting the transition pretty early in the adolescent years. My oldest switched genders, pronouns, and names dozens of times along his journey before settling on his original plan. That's why it's a journey! My boyfriend and I discussed with each other- what if the youngest changes their mind? What if they take medications that make irreversible changes to their body so there's no going back? They barely have a real sense of who they are at this tender age.
Here are my instincts as a mother (and where our conversation settled in the end): LGBTQIA+ people are born this way. Even though it's a journey and they may change their minds dozens of times (I think because of societal pressures), eventually, with love and support, they accept themselves and decide to be who they were born to be; themselves. We should let our child decide when and how they transition, and trust them. Am I supporting correctly? Are my worries for not? Thoughts?